I just watched (500) Days of Summer, and I gotta say, I am truly depressed.
Deeply, utterly and perfectly depressed.
Here are the Top 5 Reasons why that (and all the other Indie-Lovey-Dovey-But-Still-Pathetically-Pathetic) film makes me want to curl up under my big green afghan and never leave the house again.
5. I will never look as adorable as Zooey Deschanel in that goofy 60s haircut and her off-trend-but-still-indescribably-cool clothing. She has this weird way that she carries herself (even in her not-acting life) that makes me want to be her best friend and her worst enemy all at once. Love-hate, but more like admire-from-afar/hate. The waist cinching, not-afraid-of-having-hips-and-lady-parts dresses she wore are so adorable, and lucky me actually has a few of those dresses. Obviously my waist is not that microscopic (as my mother so gently pointed out to me this weekend as we were shopping; she's a lovely lady), but the dresses she wore can be pulled off by pretty much anyone. Ditch the baby-bow that pissed me off the entire movie and add a shaggy blow-out and you're golden.
4. Greeting cards are entirely ruined for me. I refuse to buy another one. I'm going to make my own forever more.
So there.
I love Us.
3. College has nothing to do with anything. Seriously it's so hard to say that, but in the real world all this stuff about being a useful human being and getting involved in whatever it is we're supposed to be involved in has totally just gone up in smoke. He was a pretty good architect, but what the hell, he didn't finish school for it. Did he get the job? Did the Olivia Wilde look alike become his new "it's complicated" on Facebook? WHAT HAPPENED?
2. It had such a good message. BUT I'M NEVER GONNA GET IT UNTIL I WATCH THE MOVIE AGAIN. Which I have to. Since I bought it. But still, it was depressing and wonderful and I'm torn between popping it in again and just wanting to die for a little while longer. It's this really horribly fantastic roller coaster that I'm torn between being furious about and wanting to keep up with. But I can't.
I still don't know why she always wore blue. Or what the hell was up with the dance-sequence scene.
1. Now that they've made a film about it, it's never going to happen to me. I'm never going to be able to be all benevolent and beautiful and still very casual about telling some boy that, sorry, you just weren't the guy for me. And while you--an adorable but misguided (HA) and disillusioned young failure--are flailing around after I left you, I've somehow managed to get engaged and married and all that. But you're still happy for me.
Yeah, that's never going to happen now.
That's it for now. I'm done.
I'm home actually, so I don't have time for more, blah blah blah excuses no one's actually reading this anyways.
I'm not sure if I love you anymore since this movie ruined love for me.
Entirely.
Its not like anything/one else had ruined it before the movie.
Oh, no. Never. Not at all.
Fuckers.
Anyways, no I can't say if I love you, because I don't know if you exist.
(If there are readers out there, this is directed to you. Reassure my pathetically fragile ego. Comment. Tell me I'm ugly. Something.)
This font is the same color as my new nail polish and its making me smile.
Not-In-Love-With-Anyone,
Miss Guided
Deeply, utterly and perfectly depressed.
Here are the Top 5 Reasons why that (and all the other Indie-Lovey-Dovey-But-Still-Pathetically-Pathetic) film makes me want to curl up under my big green afghan and never leave the house again.
5. I will never look as adorable as Zooey Deschanel in that goofy 60s haircut and her off-trend-but-still-indescribably-cool clothing. She has this weird way that she carries herself (even in her not-acting life) that makes me want to be her best friend and her worst enemy all at once. Love-hate, but more like admire-from-afar/hate. The waist cinching, not-afraid-of-having-hips-and-lady-parts dresses she wore are so adorable, and lucky me actually has a few of those dresses. Obviously my waist is not that microscopic (as my mother so gently pointed out to me this weekend as we were shopping; she's a lovely lady), but the dresses she wore can be pulled off by pretty much anyone. Ditch the baby-bow that pissed me off the entire movie and add a shaggy blow-out and you're golden.
4. Greeting cards are entirely ruined for me. I refuse to buy another one. I'm going to make my own forever more.
So there.
I love Us.
3. College has nothing to do with anything. Seriously it's so hard to say that, but in the real world all this stuff about being a useful human being and getting involved in whatever it is we're supposed to be involved in has totally just gone up in smoke. He was a pretty good architect, but what the hell, he didn't finish school for it. Did he get the job? Did the Olivia Wilde look alike become his new "it's complicated" on Facebook? WHAT HAPPENED?
2. It had such a good message. BUT I'M NEVER GONNA GET IT UNTIL I WATCH THE MOVIE AGAIN. Which I have to. Since I bought it. But still, it was depressing and wonderful and I'm torn between popping it in again and just wanting to die for a little while longer. It's this really horribly fantastic roller coaster that I'm torn between being furious about and wanting to keep up with. But I can't.
I still don't know why she always wore blue. Or what the hell was up with the dance-sequence scene.
1. Now that they've made a film about it, it's never going to happen to me. I'm never going to be able to be all benevolent and beautiful and still very casual about telling some boy that, sorry, you just weren't the guy for me. And while you--an adorable but misguided (HA) and disillusioned young failure--are flailing around after I left you, I've somehow managed to get engaged and married and all that. But you're still happy for me.
Yeah, that's never going to happen now.
That's it for now. I'm done.
I'm home actually, so I don't have time for more, blah blah blah excuses no one's actually reading this anyways.
I'm not sure if I love you anymore since this movie ruined love for me.
Entirely.
Its not like anything/one else had ruined it before the movie.
Oh, no. Never. Not at all.
Fuckers.
Anyways, no I can't say if I love you, because I don't know if you exist.
(If there are readers out there, this is directed to you. Reassure my pathetically fragile ego. Comment. Tell me I'm ugly. Something.)
This font is the same color as my new nail polish and its making me smile.
Not-In-Love-With-Anyone,
Miss Guided
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