ME
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Ok, so this is going to be one of those short posts.
Park.
When was the last time you got really excited to go to the part? Because I don't remember. Parks stopped being fun about the same time boys stopped having cooties. Which is obviously never, but people pretended one happened, so why not the other?
Anyways, I just want to have one of those moments again. Where I'm sitting on the swings, laughing and giggling and snorting (because when I'm really really laughing, genuinely in hysterics, little pig-snorts will sneak out and I'll sound like a congested hyena), and there's nothing on my mind.
I want that again, please.
On another note, here is my to-do list. Its in red because red is my least favorite color, and I really hate homework.
so.
P202: Ch. 4 and 5
P300: Reaction Paper 2, Project 2, Read Child Molester Paper29-42, Read Textbook p66-79, Ch 4
H250: Translate Script for Thursday, Article due Feb 14th, Regular HW due Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Bulbalim due Sunday at Midnight
P324: Review Ch 1-3 for test NEXT MONDAY
P100: Practice Saints Go Marching for Monday-->Hearing Tuesday
P199: Self Assessment due Tuesday, Resume due 2/22 (talk to Jan VD about looking over it?)
P401: IMAGE project due Feb 22, Annotated Bibliography due Feb 15th
P300: Reaction Paper 2, Project 2, Read Child Molester Paper29-42, Read Textbook p66-79, Ch 4
H250: Translate Script for Thursday, Article due Feb 14th, Regular HW due Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Bulbalim due Sunday at Midnight
P324: Review Ch 1-3 for test NEXT MONDAY
P100: Practice Saints Go Marching for Monday-->Hearing Tuesday
P199: Self Assessment due Tuesday, Resume due 2/22 (talk to Jan VD about looking over it?)
P401: IMAGE project due Feb 22, Annotated Bibliography due Feb 15th
Aren't to-do lists weird?! I write the funniest things.
Child Molester Paper? You're probably thinking its a how-to guide, but thats gross, and also not true. Its actually an interesting discussion of the definition of what certain terms are that fall under that heading.
Now that I've thoroughly disgusted you with my major...
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This last one reminds me of a few things. Someone I know from camp--who is a very special, talented and insightful friend--attempted to show me how to sail this summer. It was a short, happy experience for me, and its one of the memories I hold most dear. Every day, I wish for the calm, the content and the carefree feelings I had on the lake that afternoon. Every day, I try to channel those feelings into my heart as best as I can.
Every day, I also try to drink as much caffeine as is (or is not) healthy.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Despite the fact that ballet dancers are very susceptible to falling into eating disorders, having bone problems, muscle problems and all sorts of nasty-foot-related-disease-mutant-things...
...they can do really cool shit and take really pretty pictures all the time.
Also. I would KILL to be able to do the splits. Or touch the ground without bending my knees. Or...like do that kicky thing where they hold their foot in their air, thigh next to the ear and everything.
On the other hand, sleezy guys might only rely on the flexibility pick up lines; I'm not athletic or any of that, so the pick up lines they give me are usually more creative than lewd or suggestive.
so. bendy-body, creative pick up lines.
which do you want?
Also, yes I saw the Black Swan, yes it freaked the fuck out of me.
No I am not a ballerina (HA), but yes it would be fucking epic to be one. Just not a self-destructive one like Natalie Portman's character, and not a fucking psychopathic one like Mila Kunis'.
A Sad State of Affairs
That's what this blog is right now.
Here are things that I want to happen on this blog over the next month/week/unforeseeable future.
1. Actual posts; things that happen to me that are funny, embarrassing, interesting or that provoke insightful thoughts and make me feel like I should share things with the internet.
2. A photo-blog. One thing I've learned from this love affair with tumblr is that pictures (and captions because I'm a writer, therefore I like to see the babbly-gook in my head on the screen being transmitted to you unwitting picture-seers and word-haters), are a great way to make people read without actually reading. And its also a great way to make a point. And see pretty things that I like.
3. Videos and music. Because I like both of these things, and because I said so, that's why.
4. Short posts. Because no one likes to read my mini-epics.
On that note, I'm going to give you a mini-story about my life right now. Here goes:
so this is what a double hitter is.
It was a decent pitch, straight but a little weak; it wasn’t going fast enough. smack the ball just past shortstop and second, into the infield but between the players. The ball is just close enough to one player that he can run and pick it up and throw it in about an 8 second sequence. You sprint from home to first, pulse there for half a second, then make a mad sprint for second and just barely slide through to safe.
That’s what it feels like when your doctor says your common cold from last week has turned into a bad sinus infection and a little bit of bronchitis in your left lung.
My diseases have decided to go around the diamond in my body, and are all “haha, fuck you we’re winning.”
I think the Mucinex on home, the Amoxicillin on third and the copious amounts of Tylenol in the field beg to differ.
So there. Strike out already, I need to go to class.
Also, fuck the superbowl, lets get to baseball season already.
This text is green because it symbolizes most of what I am made of right now. Which is phlegm.
You really wanted to know that, Internet, I know you did.
Thank you.
Also, I've been off of caffeine because of said diseases, and have headaches because of it. :( I want my morning (and afternoon...and evening) mojo back!
This text is brown....
Because I miss coffee and coffee is brown.
Oh come on. I'm not that gross.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Its not stalking, its people-watching!
I really like to people-watch.
It's not stalking, I swear. It's people-watching. Like bird-watching, but more interesting because you're looking at things that have the same number of chromosomes as you, and you're sitting there wondering if you do things like they do.
There are lots of places to people-watch and be a general creeper, but there are a few really specific places that I love to go because it means I can sit behind my laptop, write (or pretend to write as it usually ends up), and then just watch people come and go and look at all the different types of faces and hear all the voices and just soak up social interaction without actually having to be social. We all do that, it's just that I think I do it more often than most people. I love to see how others interact, how couples kind of fall into place next to each other if they're in love or how they physically separate themselves if they're not (anymore).
Also, it makes it very easy to witness awesome things that you normally wouldn't if you weren't watching closely. I saw a guy donate a sandwich from Jimmy Johns to a homeless guy once, then sit down to eat lunch with him and talk; that kind of stuff makes me very happy.
I once saw an old couple feed each other a bite of granola each, then the old man kissed her cheek. It was precious.
I also regularly witness people picking their noses. But that comes with the territory.
So, I'm giving you (all two of you who actually read this) my favorite places to (creep) people-watch.
Top 5 List of Best places to People-Watch:
1. Airport
Everyone (except for the truly phobic and not-fit-for-public folks) flies at some point in their lives if you're living in modern America. There is no easier way to get to far out places and to be honest, I think people get really excited--no matter how old they are--about getting on planes. There's something awesome about it that no one can explain, but we do it anyways.
Anyways, the airport is freaking awesome just for the reason that everyone goes. Yeah, you've got your boring suits and the regular airpot security people basically dominating the place, but in between are some wacky folks. And--if your luck is anything like mine--you'll probably end up sitting next to one of the more interesting ones who have done something spectacular that they are on their way home from. You learn a lot about people when they're stressed out (and who isn't stressed out these days about getting through security?) and it's fun to see the different ways people dress and act when they're being watched by hawks who are ready to tackle them to the ground for just about any reason. Then again...sometimes they do have reason to be a little suspicious of folks who do this.
2. Library
I am positive that I am not the only weirdo who creeps on people in the library. When those around you are entirely engrossed in whatever they're procrastinating their homework on, it's really easy to just space out and watch them. Or, if you're in the computer clusters/labs, you can sometimes see what people are Googling or looking at and you learn something about them. Like the guy who I sat next to in my criminal research class? He had no clue how to use the research databases we were supposed to be searching for journal articles, so instead, he went onto his fantasy football thing and started cursing under his breath about something.
Or, what I always like to see, is when people are on websites that "mature college kids" shouldn't generally frequent. Like neopets. Or barbie.com. Because I've seen it, and it's a little funny, a little sad, and a lot telling.
No one should let go of their childhoods!
Also, people have a tendency to forget themselves when they're really into what they're studying, so they start doing weird shit that they normally wouldn't while in public.
No, I've never seen this in real life, but someone probably has.
3. Mall
It's not stalking, I swear. It's people-watching. Like bird-watching, but more interesting because you're looking at things that have the same number of chromosomes as you, and you're sitting there wondering if you do things like they do.
There are lots of places to people-watch and be a general creeper, but there are a few really specific places that I love to go because it means I can sit behind my laptop, write (or pretend to write as it usually ends up), and then just watch people come and go and look at all the different types of faces and hear all the voices and just soak up social interaction without actually having to be social. We all do that, it's just that I think I do it more often than most people. I love to see how others interact, how couples kind of fall into place next to each other if they're in love or how they physically separate themselves if they're not (anymore).
Also, it makes it very easy to witness awesome things that you normally wouldn't if you weren't watching closely. I saw a guy donate a sandwich from Jimmy Johns to a homeless guy once, then sit down to eat lunch with him and talk; that kind of stuff makes me very happy.
I once saw an old couple feed each other a bite of granola each, then the old man kissed her cheek. It was precious.
I also regularly witness people picking their noses. But that comes with the territory.
So, I'm giving you (all two of you who actually read this) my favorite places to (creep) people-watch.
Top 5 List of Best places to People-Watch:
1. Airport
Everyone (except for the truly phobic and not-fit-for-public folks) flies at some point in their lives if you're living in modern America. There is no easier way to get to far out places and to be honest, I think people get really excited--no matter how old they are--about getting on planes. There's something awesome about it that no one can explain, but we do it anyways.
Anyways, the airport is freaking awesome just for the reason that everyone goes. Yeah, you've got your boring suits and the regular airpot security people basically dominating the place, but in between are some wacky folks. And--if your luck is anything like mine--you'll probably end up sitting next to one of the more interesting ones who have done something spectacular that they are on their way home from. You learn a lot about people when they're stressed out (and who isn't stressed out these days about getting through security?) and it's fun to see the different ways people dress and act when they're being watched by hawks who are ready to tackle them to the ground for just about any reason. Then again...sometimes they do have reason to be a little suspicious of folks who do this.
2. Library
I am positive that I am not the only weirdo who creeps on people in the library. When those around you are entirely engrossed in whatever they're procrastinating their homework on, it's really easy to just space out and watch them. Or, if you're in the computer clusters/labs, you can sometimes see what people are Googling or looking at and you learn something about them. Like the guy who I sat next to in my criminal research class? He had no clue how to use the research databases we were supposed to be searching for journal articles, so instead, he went onto his fantasy football thing and started cursing under his breath about something.
Or, what I always like to see, is when people are on websites that "mature college kids" shouldn't generally frequent. Like neopets. Or barbie.com. Because I've seen it, and it's a little funny, a little sad, and a lot telling.
No one should let go of their childhoods!
Also, people have a tendency to forget themselves when they're really into what they're studying, so they start doing weird shit that they normally wouldn't while in public.
No, I've never seen this in real life, but someone probably has.
3. Mall
This is obvious. Teeny boppers are stupid, insipid little creatures who sometimes have less personality than infants BUT they're fucking hilarious to watch while in packs. They group together like a big amoeba made of Hollister and too much eyeliner and giggle and shriek at whatever comes their way.
Old folks are also fun to watch in malls; they have absolutely no clue what to do with the cacophony and are totally befuddled by the masses of people. They scuttle from shop to shop, armed with oversized bags that they use as pseudo-shields. If one of the vendors says something to them, they freak; hold up their bags, shake their heads "no" over-emphatically, and scurry toward wherever it is they're going, eyes wide and buggy behind their massively thick glasses.
And around Valentine's Day and the winter holidays, you see men more often looking really, pathetically confused in jewelry stores as too-peppy, perky-scary-happy saleswomen try to push them toward stuff they really really shouldn't be buying.
Here's a bit of advice on that subject, boys: If it scares you to look at the ring display and you cringe when your girlfriend drops meteor-sized hints about possibly-maybe-starting to think about "it," then either walk away from the store and go get her a book or something personal but not commitment-defining, or re-evaluate your relationship.
Don't buy it if you're not ready, and for G-d's sake don't be bullied into buying it!
4. Coffee Houses
My mom bought me the little bingo-cards you see below. It's called cafe bingo and it was made for someone like me (read: a creeper) so that me and my creeper friends (read: taylor and beth) can be creepers with a purpose.
Anyways, coffee houses are great because there are people studying (so the library thing), people talking to each other and interacting(so the mall thing), and you have the crazies (because everyone likes coffee or tea, just like how almost everyone uses the airport, no matter how weird they are). Its like a big old jumble of insanity and I love it.
Also, I love coffee. A lot. Taylor and I went today and there were people playing "Magic: The Gathering." 'Nuff said.
5. Bookstores
Ok yes lets get over the fact that I'm a bookworm and a nerd/geek/freak whatever. Ok yes I like to read. A lot. And yes, I also enjoy going to bookstores and just looking at the cover art because that shit is fucking gorgeous. I want to do cover art someday, but doubtful that I'll ever be able to unless I write my own book. Which is also obscenely doubtful since I can barely update this with any regularity.
Getting over all that, bookstores are great because of the people who frequent them. There are obnoxious hipsters, yeah (if I see one more male wearing jorts, a lumberjack beard and/or those glasses, I'm gonna scream), but there are also some really really interesting types. The littler, older bookstores are the best because you usually get into the most fascinating conversations with the owners if you ask the right questions(who are by trade just amazingly interesting) and you learn about random things. Bookstores are more for conversational people-watching, which is why they're at the end of the list, but they're good if you feel like being social with people who you're not always social with.
My basic point is this:
G-d is great, Modern transportation is good, books are better, and people are fucking nuts.
Love,
Miss G.
And around Valentine's Day and the winter holidays, you see men more often looking really, pathetically confused in jewelry stores as too-peppy, perky-scary-happy saleswomen try to push them toward stuff they really really shouldn't be buying.
Here's a bit of advice on that subject, boys: If it scares you to look at the ring display and you cringe when your girlfriend drops meteor-sized hints about possibly-maybe-starting to think about "it," then either walk away from the store and go get her a book or something personal but not commitment-defining, or re-evaluate your relationship.
Don't buy it if you're not ready, and for G-d's sake don't be bullied into buying it!
4. Coffee Houses
My mom bought me the little bingo-cards you see below. It's called cafe bingo and it was made for someone like me (read: a creeper) so that me and my creeper friends (read: taylor and beth) can be creepers with a purpose.
Anyways, coffee houses are great because there are people studying (so the library thing), people talking to each other and interacting(so the mall thing), and you have the crazies (because everyone likes coffee or tea, just like how almost everyone uses the airport, no matter how weird they are). Its like a big old jumble of insanity and I love it.
Also, I love coffee. A lot. Taylor and I went today and there were people playing "Magic: The Gathering." 'Nuff said.
5. BookstoresOk yes lets get over the fact that I'm a bookworm and a nerd/geek/freak whatever. Ok yes I like to read. A lot. And yes, I also enjoy going to bookstores and just looking at the cover art because that shit is fucking gorgeous. I want to do cover art someday, but doubtful that I'll ever be able to unless I write my own book. Which is also obscenely doubtful since I can barely update this with any regularity.
Getting over all that, bookstores are great because of the people who frequent them. There are obnoxious hipsters, yeah (if I see one more male wearing jorts, a lumberjack beard and/or those glasses, I'm gonna scream), but there are also some really really interesting types. The littler, older bookstores are the best because you usually get into the most fascinating conversations with the owners if you ask the right questions(who are by trade just amazingly interesting) and you learn about random things. Bookstores are more for conversational people-watching, which is why they're at the end of the list, but they're good if you feel like being social with people who you're not always social with.
My basic point is this:
G-d is great, Modern transportation is good, books are better, and people are fucking nuts.
Love,
Miss G.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Things That Make Me Cry.
Normal nights when we aren't being idiots. The pretty one on the left is Beth. The idiot with the awkward shiny spot (on the right) is me.As it is, I'm the type of girl who cries when it's not appropriate. I don't cry at funerals unless I have to say something, I rarely cry if something awful happens to me or my family, but I will cry at the mere thought of something horrible happening to someone I love. I imagine these horrible terrible scenarios where I lose someone I'm close to, or I'm the one who's lost and I forgot to say something important to someone important...really the list goes on. The things I think of right before I fall asleep are anything but pleasant, so it's really not a wonder that it takes me hours to really get to sleep. I cry in private or with those I trust if it's really something that I shouldn't be alone to deal with. Had a bit of experience with the whole "needing someone to make sure I don't make good on sarcastic (and totally not serious, by the way) comments about flinging myself off the nearest building above six stories tall," so I've finally grasped the importance behind having someone there. Even if I don't want people to see me all red-eyed and teary and goobery.
Anyways, Beth and I were recently sitting in our floor lounge one night, and then somehow we got on the subject of crying and I realized that I hadn't cried since I found out about my Uncle dying. Really, that's quite a long time for me (November), so jump a few minutes in the conversation and we're reading this pathetically sad website, and I'm bawling. Then Beth gets this idea to listen to sad songs, and about 20 minutes after that, she's a mess and I'm barely holding it together.
That's literally how we spent our night. Talking about sad stuff and then crying about said sadness, then laughing hysterically at ourselves for being so pathetic, and then we decided to just roll with it.
So we cried. For about 3 hours, sitting in the lounge, listening to sad songs.
Feel free.
And you know what? It felt damn good right afterward. I liked the feeling of just bawling my eyes out for a certain amount of time, and it was just...cathartic. That's the word, cathartic.
Like I was letting just a whole five month's worth of frustration and little bits of "sad" out in one big rush.
I felt soooo much better the next day, thank goodness. I literally woke up smiling for some reason.
Then I hit my head on Grace's bed, so I stopped smiling.
Anyways, this post is kind of going to be a little bit more of that cathartic-ness. I like things that make me cry, but only when I feel like actually doing that crying. If you're looking to bawl your eyes out, check those songs out and really really listen to the lyrics. If you're really looking to cry, read the first 6 chapters of Jane Eyre (my favorite book in the whole wide world) and just wallow in deep-set hatred of Victorian well-to-do families.
Then read Mansfield Park, and wonder if Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte were best friends. Because I'm basically positive that they were, logic be damned.
Without further babbling, here's a list of things that make me cry.
5. Leaving. Anything.
Even if I'm super happy to be doing the leaving, I'm still going to cry a little bit. Probably. Because in some way, wherever I end up changes me. The places I go and the people I meet always always always have some sort of an effect on me. I'm like a sponge; I take everything I can from the people/places I meet/live, and I just absorb it into my system for as long as I can. I don't give much (which is bad), but I take and take and take from the people I meet, and then I try and wring myself out on someone else, so they can benefit at least a fraction of how much as I did.
4. GivesMeHope.Com and MakesMeThink.Com
Really?! Really, someone had to make these websites just for the sole purpose of sickos like me who like to read inspirational/tragic/happy stories that literally bring tears to your eyes (if you're not an ogre). Beth and I timed it; it took me 3 pages to start crying, but it took her 4. Then we listened to this Christmas song that she really likes and that was just the end of that.
3. Sad (Country) Songs
Who I Am- Jessica Andrews
Letter to Me- Brad Paisley
100 Years- The Fray
Where Are You Christmas- Faith Hill (Beth's Special)
In the Arms of the Angels- Sarah McLachlan
I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan
Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
Graduation Song -Vitamin C
Cat's in the Cradle- Henry Chapin
Mad World- Gary Jules
Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova- Oasis
You and Me- Lifehouse (don't ask.)
Hanging by a Moment- (also Lifehouse?)
I told you I'm not an appropriate-time cry-er. Who the fuck starts bawling when Brad Paisley comes on the radio?!
Any of these songs will make me cry. This one time, Adam sang me 100 Years; I didn't cry, I laughed because believe it or not this kid hit the high notes. But otherwise it makes me cry. Some of these I have special memories attached to. The Oasis songs are from Israel; I have special memories of beautiful people singing these songs every chance they got. They sang one of them on the last day as we were all getting on planes back to New York, then home. I didn't stop crying for about two hours after that.
Mad World just makes me think of sad children. I don't know why, but I hate it when children are sad, because then they cry and I want to cry with them. When a child is truly sad--not because his or her favorite toy broke, but truly, deeply sad--the world feels like it stops a little for me. In my head, until you know how babies are made, you are still a baby and therefore should never be forced to experience true, digging sadness. The kind that sticks to your ribs around your heart should only be reserved for those of us who understand that life really isn't sunshine, rainbows and (beer) cupcakes.
2. Very Talented Children
Swear to g-d, I started crying out of sheer astonishment this one time I was watching a youtube video (with Beth) of a kid who had such a beautiful voice. I think it was that Britain's Got Talent show with the little guy who belted the Michael Jackson song. I cried. Long and hard. (that's what sheeee said.)
Go on, don't cry, I dare you.
1. Re-reading old letters that I've never sent. I have like six of them that I've written to one person since I was 14. Almost every major life event, I've written him/her a letter. I hate having things unsaid, so maybe, just maybe I'll end up telling him/her what I've been holding in for so long.
By the way, I've literally read and re-read these letters (and subsequently cried on each of them) enough times that the letters are smudged from my fingerprints and other stuff. The more recent letters are usually covered in coffee.
Oh, here's what else I don't like, but less serious and more me.
1. bad coffee.
2. ugly pictures of me (not really crying as much as cringing and untagging from facebook)
3. packing. I hate packing.
4. knowing that you have to pee, but not wanting to get up just then, but still knowing you have to get up eventually. I hate that, I have no idea why.
5. cucumbers. I can't stand them, but I love pickles.
I was recently teased by a certain wanna-be cop for putting "Love, Miss Guided" at the end of a post, so believe it or not I actually considered not putting it on this time. Then I realized I really do not enjoy being around said wanna-be cop (probably for the reason that he's a verbally abusive little bitch), and I really don't give a flying rat's ass what he thinks. :)
So.
LOVE (Love love love, because fuck you.)
Miss Guided.
Anyways, Beth and I were recently sitting in our floor lounge one night, and then somehow we got on the subject of crying and I realized that I hadn't cried since I found out about my Uncle dying. Really, that's quite a long time for me (November), so jump a few minutes in the conversation and we're reading this pathetically sad website, and I'm bawling. Then Beth gets this idea to listen to sad songs, and about 20 minutes after that, she's a mess and I'm barely holding it together.
That's literally how we spent our night. Talking about sad stuff and then crying about said sadness, then laughing hysterically at ourselves for being so pathetic, and then we decided to just roll with it.
So we cried. For about 3 hours, sitting in the lounge, listening to sad songs.
Feel free. And you know what? It felt damn good right afterward. I liked the feeling of just bawling my eyes out for a certain amount of time, and it was just...cathartic. That's the word, cathartic.
Like I was letting just a whole five month's worth of frustration and little bits of "sad" out in one big rush.
I felt soooo much better the next day, thank goodness. I literally woke up smiling for some reason.
Then I hit my head on Grace's bed, so I stopped smiling.
Anyways, this post is kind of going to be a little bit more of that cathartic-ness. I like things that make me cry, but only when I feel like actually doing that crying. If you're looking to bawl your eyes out, check those songs out and really really listen to the lyrics. If you're really looking to cry, read the first 6 chapters of Jane Eyre (my favorite book in the whole wide world) and just wallow in deep-set hatred of Victorian well-to-do families.
Then read Mansfield Park, and wonder if Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte were best friends. Because I'm basically positive that they were, logic be damned.
Without further babbling, here's a list of things that make me cry.
5. Leaving. Anything.
Even if I'm super happy to be doing the leaving, I'm still going to cry a little bit. Probably. Because in some way, wherever I end up changes me. The places I go and the people I meet always always always have some sort of an effect on me. I'm like a sponge; I take everything I can from the people/places I meet/live, and I just absorb it into my system for as long as I can. I don't give much (which is bad), but I take and take and take from the people I meet, and then I try and wring myself out on someone else, so they can benefit at least a fraction of how much as I did.
4. GivesMeHope.Com and MakesMeThink.Com
Really?! Really, someone had to make these websites just for the sole purpose of sickos like me who like to read inspirational/tragic/happy stories that literally bring tears to your eyes (if you're not an ogre). Beth and I timed it; it took me 3 pages to start crying, but it took her 4. Then we listened to this Christmas song that she really likes and that was just the end of that.
3. Sad (Country) Songs
Who I Am- Jessica Andrews
Letter to Me- Brad Paisley
100 Years- The Fray
Where Are You Christmas- Faith Hill (Beth's Special)
In the Arms of the Angels- Sarah McLachlan
I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan
Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
Graduation Song -Vitamin C
Cat's in the Cradle- Henry Chapin
Mad World- Gary Jules
Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova- Oasis
You and Me- Lifehouse (don't ask.)
Hanging by a Moment- (also Lifehouse?)
I told you I'm not an appropriate-time cry-er. Who the fuck starts bawling when Brad Paisley comes on the radio?!
Any of these songs will make me cry. This one time, Adam sang me 100 Years; I didn't cry, I laughed because believe it or not this kid hit the high notes. But otherwise it makes me cry. Some of these I have special memories attached to. The Oasis songs are from Israel; I have special memories of beautiful people singing these songs every chance they got. They sang one of them on the last day as we were all getting on planes back to New York, then home. I didn't stop crying for about two hours after that.
Mad World just makes me think of sad children. I don't know why, but I hate it when children are sad, because then they cry and I want to cry with them. When a child is truly sad--not because his or her favorite toy broke, but truly, deeply sad--the world feels like it stops a little for me. In my head, until you know how babies are made, you are still a baby and therefore should never be forced to experience true, digging sadness. The kind that sticks to your ribs around your heart should only be reserved for those of us who understand that life really isn't sunshine, rainbows and (beer) cupcakes.
2. Very Talented Children
Swear to g-d, I started crying out of sheer astonishment this one time I was watching a youtube video (with Beth) of a kid who had such a beautiful voice. I think it was that Britain's Got Talent show with the little guy who belted the Michael Jackson song. I cried. Long and hard. (that's what sheeee said.)
Go on, don't cry, I dare you.
1. Re-reading old letters that I've never sent. I have like six of them that I've written to one person since I was 14. Almost every major life event, I've written him/her a letter. I hate having things unsaid, so maybe, just maybe I'll end up telling him/her what I've been holding in for so long.
By the way, I've literally read and re-read these letters (and subsequently cried on each of them) enough times that the letters are smudged from my fingerprints and other stuff. The more recent letters are usually covered in coffee.
Oh, here's what else I don't like, but less serious and more me.
1. bad coffee.
2. ugly pictures of me (not really crying as much as cringing and untagging from facebook)
3. packing. I hate packing.
4. knowing that you have to pee, but not wanting to get up just then, but still knowing you have to get up eventually. I hate that, I have no idea why.
5. cucumbers. I can't stand them, but I love pickles.
I was recently teased by a certain wanna-be cop for putting "Love, Miss Guided" at the end of a post, so believe it or not I actually considered not putting it on this time. Then I realized I really do not enjoy being around said wanna-be cop (probably for the reason that he's a verbally abusive little bitch), and I really don't give a flying rat's ass what he thinks. :)
So.
LOVE (Love love love, because fuck you.)
Miss Guided.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
How to be Embarrassed Gracefully...Sort of...
Welcome to my life.Ok, so this post is going to be like an extended Embarrassing Moment for me and for those who I know (without names or pointed fingers, besides the experiences that are my own), because I think a really really important skill that everyone should have is to know how to deal with being embarrassed. Recently, my underwear was hanging out of my pants. Super classy, I know, but hey it happens sometimes when the only things I have that are clean are a really really tiny thong and my fat-jeans (even when I'm having a skinny-day). So, the strings are visible and I haven't got a clue because I'm just concentrating on making sure that my pants are around my hips and not my ankles.
Cue "A Good Friend" (you know who you are, because I'm forcing you to read this), who tells me clandestinely that, hey your underwear is hanging out and you sort of look like a skanky idiot (obviously he/she didn't say the last part, because that would be mean and he/she is everything but mean). I believe I dealt with it rather gracefully because a) I didn't turn beet-red and have a panic-attack, b)I laughed it off, assured him/her not to be worried and that I was indeed thankful for his/her diligence in Making-Sure-I-Don't-Look-Like-A-Moron (caps because it happens on a regular basis and someone's gotta make sure that I can function semi-normally in society) and c)I dealt with it and moved on. I didn't turn it into an awkward silence, I didn't make a bit spectacle out of pulling up my pants and trying to save face (not that I really could), and I didn't start crying and run into the bathroom to sob my sorrows and awkwardness away.
Because I know that it could have been worse, and it wasn't.
It could totally have been worse.
So. Embarrassing story of the week over with, here's the reason behind my rambling.
Here's a universal truth; no matter how cool, beautiful or talented/wonderful/fantastic you are, you are going to embarrass yourself and those around you at one point or another. It's just going to happen, there's nothing you can do about the fact that it will, so you might as well learn how to deal with it when it does. Those of you who don't will be doomed to be forever ungraceful and ungrateful when an embarrassing moment comes along (yes, you should be grateful, I'll explain why in a bit).
So, in order to save the planet from a bunch of bumbling goobers who blush tomato-red whenever they trip on a branch or stutter just a bit in class, I've compiled a little list (surprise, Miss Guided the Queen of Lists and Lessons She's Learned from Living Life like one of those Goobers) of how to deal with those embarrassing moments.
Here's a universal truth; no matter how cool, beautiful or talented/wonderful/fantastic you are, you are going to embarrass yourself and those around you at one point or another. It's just going to happen, there's nothing you can do about the fact that it will, so you might as well learn how to deal with it when it does. Those of you who don't will be doomed to be forever ungraceful and ungrateful when an embarrassing moment comes along (yes, you should be grateful, I'll explain why in a bit).
So, in order to save the planet from a bunch of bumbling goobers who blush tomato-red whenever they trip on a branch or stutter just a bit in class, I've compiled a little list (surprise, Miss Guided the Queen of Lists and Lessons She's Learned from Living Life like one of those Goobers) of how to deal with those embarrassing moments.
Dude, I totally get you. It's ok, it'll be over soon. 1. The Immediate Recovery
So, you've tripped on your way out of the bar (not that I know anyone who's eaten shit while stumbling drunk somewhere out the door, oh no sir, right, T?), and now your ass is in the air and you're struggling to get up without making an even bigger fool of yourself than you already have. Fun fact, you can turn this embarrassing moment into a good one by doing one little thing.
Laugh.
Seriously, those people who say that laughter is the best medicine are the ones who succeed in life because they don't let the little things get them down. They might have that initial min-heart attack because no one likes to trip in public (or in private, but that's another story), and it's human nature to judge oneself and others, but laughing in the face of adversary is one of the best things to do.
If someone is out to embarrass you, for example by posting something nasty on your Facebook wall or shooting out snippy nit-pick comment after a speech you've prepped for hours for about how you didn't pronounce "epitome" right (ep-eh-toh-mie, not "eh-pi-toh-muh," you stupid ninny), the best revenge is amusement. If they think it didn't affect you, it burns a little because now they're embarrassed for themselves and their petty, low-grade behavior.
Also, if a trashy frat-guy grabs your butt while you're attempting to un-eat shit after tripping, laugh it off still, and attempt to get your drunken self out the door and as far away from Douchey McDoucher as possible.
So, you've tripped on your way out of the bar (not that I know anyone who's eaten shit while stumbling drunk somewhere out the door, oh no sir, right, T?), and now your ass is in the air and you're struggling to get up without making an even bigger fool of yourself than you already have. Fun fact, you can turn this embarrassing moment into a good one by doing one little thing.
Laugh.
Seriously, those people who say that laughter is the best medicine are the ones who succeed in life because they don't let the little things get them down. They might have that initial min-heart attack because no one likes to trip in public (or in private, but that's another story), and it's human nature to judge oneself and others, but laughing in the face of adversary is one of the best things to do.
If someone is out to embarrass you, for example by posting something nasty on your Facebook wall or shooting out snippy nit-pick comment after a speech you've prepped for hours for about how you didn't pronounce "epitome" right (ep-eh-toh-mie, not "eh-pi-toh-muh," you stupid ninny), the best revenge is amusement. If they think it didn't affect you, it burns a little because now they're embarrassed for themselves and their petty, low-grade behavior.
Also, if a trashy frat-guy grabs your butt while you're attempting to un-eat shit after tripping, laugh it off still, and attempt to get your drunken self out the door and as far away from Douchey McDoucher as possible.
I really don't know how you're going to save yourself after this. Really, I don't.2. Backpedaling is a No-No; Save Face and Move Forward
I don't care how embarrassed you get, I don't care what stupid thing you said, did or implied, whatever you do, do NOT backpedal or try to say "that's not what I meant."
I don't care if that's what you meant, move forward, explain if someone has been offended, but whatever you do, don't stutter around an excuse for something you did if, at the time, there was nothing to be done about it.
Now, I'm not saying that if you offend someone and didn't realize what you were saying was going to be offensive, not to apologize; because if that's the case, you should definitely apologize, explaining that you're very very sorry that you offended them and that you'll be more careful in the future. If you say something stupid about yourself, for example like a Freudian slip or pronounce something wrong--can you tell this has scarred me? ok, so for those of you who went to high school with me, you'll know who I'm talking about when I say I had an English teacher in my Sophomore years honors class who's hips don't lie; the kid in my class who called me out had a tendency to kick the back of whoever's desk and to be a general know-it-all suck up while still being the most obnoxious person in the room. Added bonus was that you couldn't tell him to STFU because he had a "problem." Yeah, well I have problems too, and one of them was him!--whew, ok so if you pronounce something wrong, a good plan would be to just say, "Haha, whoops, I meant blah blah blah" and say nothing more about it.
Also, I've learned that thanking the dick who calls you out on something stupid overtly enthusiastically makes them feel like more of douche, and gets giggles from everyone else because chances are if he/she is embarrassing you, he/she has embarrassed others and they all want revenge too.
I don't care how embarrassed you get, I don't care what stupid thing you said, did or implied, whatever you do, do NOT backpedal or try to say "that's not what I meant."
I don't care if that's what you meant, move forward, explain if someone has been offended, but whatever you do, don't stutter around an excuse for something you did if, at the time, there was nothing to be done about it.
Now, I'm not saying that if you offend someone and didn't realize what you were saying was going to be offensive, not to apologize; because if that's the case, you should definitely apologize, explaining that you're very very sorry that you offended them and that you'll be more careful in the future. If you say something stupid about yourself, for example like a Freudian slip or pronounce something wrong--can you tell this has scarred me? ok, so for those of you who went to high school with me, you'll know who I'm talking about when I say I had an English teacher in my Sophomore years honors class who's hips don't lie; the kid in my class who called me out had a tendency to kick the back of whoever's desk and to be a general know-it-all suck up while still being the most obnoxious person in the room. Added bonus was that you couldn't tell him to STFU because he had a "problem." Yeah, well I have problems too, and one of them was him!--whew, ok so if you pronounce something wrong, a good plan would be to just say, "Haha, whoops, I meant blah blah blah" and say nothing more about it.
Also, I've learned that thanking the dick who calls you out on something stupid overtly enthusiastically makes them feel like more of douche, and gets giggles from everyone else because chances are if he/she is embarrassing you, he/she has embarrassed others and they all want revenge too.
You know that really awful dream where you forget your pants to go to school? Yeah, about that...Anyways.
3. Be Grateful and Graceful by Staying CALM.
Seriously, this is the last and most important step and if you forget to do it, your life will end up in shambles of embarrassment for both you and those who love you. So, no pressure, but seriously chill the fuck out.
If you stay calm, if you have a little giggle, get up, brush it off and keep going without forgetting to breathe, nothing bad will happen to you. Yes, you've been embarrassed (congrats, I do it like 3o times a day and I'm still alive), but you can pick up and move on as long as you force yourself to move on. I don't mean to forget it, because we can all learn from our mistakes, but you do need to make sure that you don't let it overwhelm you right then.
Later on, feel free to burst into tears (not suggested, because it'll stress you out more, but still if you need to, go right ahead), but right there in the moment, take a deep breath and just keep doing what you're doing. Others will forget if you just acknowledge it and move on, because there will be nothing much to make fun of; you recovered, you laughed at yourself showing how not-into-yourself you are, and you moved on. Sure, they may rib you, but don't let it bug you; wait about a week and something will happen to one of them and you can do the same (nicely, because you're a nice person, right?).
Also, be grateful it wasn't something worse. Just imagine a worst case scenario, realize that it probably didn't and won't happen to you, and be thankful.
I recently had a terribly embarrassing experience in front of a class. Since my Hips-Don't-Lie teacher from high school scarred me so much when it comes to public speaking, I have a habit of forgetting to breathe whenever I have to give a speech. Beyond embarrassing, let me tell you. However I know that it will, almost inevitably, happen every time I give a speech, so I've developed a strategy for coping.
First, I get through the beginning of whatever I need to do. I try to remember to breathe initially but it's usually useless to even attempt it because I'll just end up hyperventilating instead. After the initial shock wears off, and there is a natural break in the speech, I suck in a big, loud breath of air.
Ok, this is weird because it's embarrassing, I know it, and I do it anyways, but it's my system and I've learned to cope this way, so shut up and keep reading.
After my big breath of life, people usually start to snicker, and go into step two of how Miss-G-Makes-Life-Entertaining-For-Everyone-Else, by cracking some sort of joke I've cracked 100 million times about forgetting to breathe. Last time I forgot this, so I totally obliterated Step 1 of my little post-Guide, but stay with me and see why this was bad.
Since I didn't crack a joke, the snickers stayed and my friends started making faces at me. Soooo funny guys, really you're both hilarious. Stupid wanna-be cops think they're all comedians, when in reality they just like making fun of those of us who HAVE INGRAINED FEARS OF SPEAKING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. Jerks.
Anyways, so I forgot to joke, and I was more embarrassed. The rest of my group fumbled along in their parts of the presentation, and then it was back to me, I took a breath, mentally told myself to just get over it and move on. So I did.
I was a little breathy, a little gaspy but for the most part I got through my explanation, and I was even able to jump in and save one of my group members at the end of her slide. I was proud, because I was saving face.
The last step? I totally forgot about it, and was embarrassed again after class. My "friends," the two wanna-be cops from earlier, immediately started teasing me because of my whole not-breathing episode. I hit one of them with an umbrella multiple times (not hard, just enough to get the point across), rose to the bait, and felt more embarrassed, but by the time we got outside I was calmer, and much more level headed. Sort of. I whacked him again just for shits and giggles.
I calmed down though, explained that I was happy it was over, and moved on in the end. I only freaked out for real later when I was alone, but I'm taking care of it and (fingers crossed) I don't think my grade will suffer because of my stage fright.
3. Be Grateful and Graceful by Staying CALM.
Seriously, this is the last and most important step and if you forget to do it, your life will end up in shambles of embarrassment for both you and those who love you. So, no pressure, but seriously chill the fuck out.
If you stay calm, if you have a little giggle, get up, brush it off and keep going without forgetting to breathe, nothing bad will happen to you. Yes, you've been embarrassed (congrats, I do it like 3o times a day and I'm still alive), but you can pick up and move on as long as you force yourself to move on. I don't mean to forget it, because we can all learn from our mistakes, but you do need to make sure that you don't let it overwhelm you right then.
Later on, feel free to burst into tears (not suggested, because it'll stress you out more, but still if you need to, go right ahead), but right there in the moment, take a deep breath and just keep doing what you're doing. Others will forget if you just acknowledge it and move on, because there will be nothing much to make fun of; you recovered, you laughed at yourself showing how not-into-yourself you are, and you moved on. Sure, they may rib you, but don't let it bug you; wait about a week and something will happen to one of them and you can do the same (nicely, because you're a nice person, right?).
Also, be grateful it wasn't something worse. Just imagine a worst case scenario, realize that it probably didn't and won't happen to you, and be thankful.
I recently had a terribly embarrassing experience in front of a class. Since my Hips-Don't-Lie teacher from high school scarred me so much when it comes to public speaking, I have a habit of forgetting to breathe whenever I have to give a speech. Beyond embarrassing, let me tell you. However I know that it will, almost inevitably, happen every time I give a speech, so I've developed a strategy for coping.
First, I get through the beginning of whatever I need to do. I try to remember to breathe initially but it's usually useless to even attempt it because I'll just end up hyperventilating instead. After the initial shock wears off, and there is a natural break in the speech, I suck in a big, loud breath of air.
Ok, this is weird because it's embarrassing, I know it, and I do it anyways, but it's my system and I've learned to cope this way, so shut up and keep reading.
After my big breath of life, people usually start to snicker, and go into step two of how Miss-G-Makes-Life-Entertaining-For-Everyone-Else, by cracking some sort of joke I've cracked 100 million times about forgetting to breathe. Last time I forgot this, so I totally obliterated Step 1 of my little post-Guide, but stay with me and see why this was bad.
Since I didn't crack a joke, the snickers stayed and my friends started making faces at me. Soooo funny guys, really you're both hilarious. Stupid wanna-be cops think they're all comedians, when in reality they just like making fun of those of us who HAVE INGRAINED FEARS OF SPEAKING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. Jerks.
Anyways, so I forgot to joke, and I was more embarrassed. The rest of my group fumbled along in their parts of the presentation, and then it was back to me, I took a breath, mentally told myself to just get over it and move on. So I did.
I was a little breathy, a little gaspy but for the most part I got through my explanation, and I was even able to jump in and save one of my group members at the end of her slide. I was proud, because I was saving face.
The last step? I totally forgot about it, and was embarrassed again after class. My "friends," the two wanna-be cops from earlier, immediately started teasing me because of my whole not-breathing episode. I hit one of them with an umbrella multiple times (not hard, just enough to get the point across), rose to the bait, and felt more embarrassed, but by the time we got outside I was calmer, and much more level headed. Sort of. I whacked him again just for shits and giggles.
I calmed down though, explained that I was happy it was over, and moved on in the end. I only freaked out for real later when I was alone, but I'm taking care of it and (fingers crossed) I don't think my grade will suffer because of my stage fright.
At least this didn't happen. Gosh I'd be so upset if another girl wore the same dress as me to Walmart.Moral of the Story? Do as I say, not as I do, and learn from MY mistakes.
Love,
Miss Guided
Love,
Miss Guided
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