I checked out at one of the campus food-kiosks today, and was given a "good morning," salutation by one of the miserable people behind the counter making sandwiches for fat college kids.
Now, I think this phrase is interesting because it's kind of irrelevant. I'm the type of annoying person who, no matter what you tell me, will probably end up doing the opposite of what I'm told.
So, since that person told me to have a "good morning," I thought about it and lo and behold, I actually had done the exact opposite.
I just burned my tongue on very, very hot tea.
I definitely failed that Hebrew comprehension pop quiz. There's no way I did well.
I left my coffee on my desk in my room after making it.
I sneezed 8 times in a row right after I put my mascara on. Which means that it was still wet and since my eyes squinched shut, I smeared it all under my eyes and had to start over.
Which made me late for Hebrew.
And I slipped a million times trying to get there.
So no, I am not having a very good morning.
But I am feeling guilty for having written that letter from the last post. Yes, he's a whiny little twat, but seriously its not his fault.
Well, actually it is, but it's not his fault that I chose to kind of "be his friend" in the beginning because I couldn't see the signs for what they were.
So, I'm going to give you, dear dear reader(s), a guide of how to tell when you're dealing with an Asshat so you don't end up pouring your frustration out onto the unsuspecting Internet and polluting it with a bunch of (clever) insults about someone fairly specific.
Besides, a few of my friends were curious as to what my definition of an Asshat was. So here it is.
Step One
Identification; How can you tell who you're dealing with on first impressions alone?
Easily. You're going to notice little things about this person that might not fit with the rest of the (sort of, but not really) sane world.
He or she might incessantly check his or her appearance in any reflective surface available. If you're in a dorm room and they randomly walk in, you're probably dealing with an Asshat if they go straight for the mirror to check her bump-it or his new-age-alt Leonidas beard.
It's also an indication if they're really really super eager to tell you the little--and not so little--details about their lives. A simple, "hey, what's up," has the potential to turn into a half hour bitch fest about how her Great Aunt Fanny has this callous on her left foot and it's starting to turn green.
It's best to just smile and walk away quickly when it comes to these folks.
Another thing to watch out for is an initial clingyness. Asshats have this thing about going through friends fairly quickly (gee, I wonder why) so they're going to glom onto you like a large, untreatable fungus and become your BFF, LYKE OMG.
Yeah, I swear.
Step Two
If you've associated yourself unwittingly with a particularly clandestine Asshat; How do I distance myself?
Well, this was the mistake I made. After about 3 months of a weird acquaintanceship that was fast turning into him coming to my floor and knocking on my door and the doors of all my friends, I was beginning to understand what I had gotten myself into. It was a little clinginess that had turned into a strange sort of dependence on female approval. He had possibly always had this little personality quirk, but I think being away from his parents (mothers count as female, and they can approve of their sons' behaviors) and his circle of close friends definitely helped the helplessness devolve into full on desperation.
In order to try and distance yourself, I'd suggest not answering text messages at all, or if you're too nice, then try to let the conversations fizzle as quickly as possible. Be busy, but don't lie about it. You want to be the innocent one in this situation so try to be kind, but distant. Don't give too much insight into the inner workings of your life, and do not, under any circumstances, ask about theirs in detail. A simple, "what's up" can lead to a lot of things that you just really really don't want to know about, as mentioned above.
Be vague, try and get them to follow the same route.
Step Three
Jesus, what the hell have I gotten myself into? AKA, How to be a bitch.
Well, you've hopefully attempted to distance yourself, and they're still persisting. If you really, genuinely don't want anything to do with this person, then this next step is particularly crucial. You have to be firm, concise and make sure that this person understand that you're not joking or kidding here. If they have a tendency to overlook/not listen to the truth/things they don't want to hear, you're going to have to force them to listen.
What I did might not have been the best course of action (he called yesterday after I had found out some amazingly phenomenal news) but I'm pretty sure it got the job done. He had been texting me and facebooking me all week even after I had told him to stop and give me some space. I was on cloud nine when he called me, and I was literally full and flowing over with happiness over my news, so naturally seeing his name on the caller ID fueled some sort of uber-passionate reaction. I picked up the phone and said clearly, concisely and with a tinge of malice in my voice, "_____, you need to stop trying to contact me. Stop facebooking me, stop texting me, and don't call me again. If I want to be your friend, I'll get in touch with you, but that won't be for a while at this point. Your desperation is annoying and frankly I'm tired of having to deal with you. Back off, and do not contact me again, OK?" Click.
End of conversation. I didn't let him get a word in edgewise because I was running on such a rush of adrenaline, but you know what, he deserved every word of it. The stalker-ish tendencies were beginning to scare me, and I was not enjoying his constant "we should start over," "lets be friends," bullshit.
Here are the facts:
1. We were never that close in the first place, having known each other only for a few months.
2. He almost never asked me about my life. Ever. It was always about his life and his problems.
3. He had absolutely no respect for my familial issues and was hell-bent on proving that "his life was worse than mine."
4. I didn't enjoy being around him.
If any of those line up with your situation, definitely evaluate your "friendship" and see if you really want to continue it. Start with step one, then gradually try and distance yourself politely, if that doesn't work and the person escalates to being stalker-ish or unpleasantly clingy, then I would move on and explain firmly and clearly that you want space and would appreciate it if they'd respect that and back off.
Easy, right?
Not really, but entirely necessary.
Yes it was a little mean, but I'm attempting to turn over a new slate. I want to be friends with people I feel or have felt comfortable around before. I'm trying to start with a blank slate, a tabula rasa, and I really want to move on from the high school dramatics and social stigmas that came with them. I'm apologizing and reconnecting and moving on. And it feels good and light.
Also helps that I'm probably never going to be staying in my hometown again for longer than a month or so. Which is really really wonderful to look forward to. :)
Love my family, don't really love the town. Excited to start over, sort of.
Anyways, there it is. Be friends with who you want to be friends with. Love without regrets, live fully and live hard. Take risks and make sure that you can say that you tried as hard as you could. Say proudly that you have exhausted all other possible alternatives, and you will live with a happy, unburdened heart.
If you make a mistake, own up to it, learn from it, and try to correct it. If you can't, move on and keep the lesson you learned close to your heart.
That's all. My advice.
That was a long one, maybe someone (besides Beth) is actually reading this.
Let me know, please!
Love,
Miss Guided
Now, I think this phrase is interesting because it's kind of irrelevant. I'm the type of annoying person who, no matter what you tell me, will probably end up doing the opposite of what I'm told.
So, since that person told me to have a "good morning," I thought about it and lo and behold, I actually had done the exact opposite.
I just burned my tongue on very, very hot tea.
I definitely failed that Hebrew comprehension pop quiz. There's no way I did well.
I left my coffee on my desk in my room after making it.
I sneezed 8 times in a row right after I put my mascara on. Which means that it was still wet and since my eyes squinched shut, I smeared it all under my eyes and had to start over.
Which made me late for Hebrew.
And I slipped a million times trying to get there.
So no, I am not having a very good morning.
But I am feeling guilty for having written that letter from the last post. Yes, he's a whiny little twat, but seriously its not his fault.
Well, actually it is, but it's not his fault that I chose to kind of "be his friend" in the beginning because I couldn't see the signs for what they were.
So, I'm going to give you, dear dear reader(s), a guide of how to tell when you're dealing with an Asshat so you don't end up pouring your frustration out onto the unsuspecting Internet and polluting it with a bunch of (clever) insults about someone fairly specific.
Besides, a few of my friends were curious as to what my definition of an Asshat was. So here it is.
Step One
Identification; How can you tell who you're dealing with on first impressions alone?
Easily. You're going to notice little things about this person that might not fit with the rest of the (sort of, but not really) sane world.
He or she might incessantly check his or her appearance in any reflective surface available. If you're in a dorm room and they randomly walk in, you're probably dealing with an Asshat if they go straight for the mirror to check her bump-it or his new-age-alt Leonidas beard.
It's also an indication if they're really really super eager to tell you the little--and not so little--details about their lives. A simple, "hey, what's up," has the potential to turn into a half hour bitch fest about how her Great Aunt Fanny has this callous on her left foot and it's starting to turn green.
It's best to just smile and walk away quickly when it comes to these folks.
Another thing to watch out for is an initial clingyness. Asshats have this thing about going through friends fairly quickly (gee, I wonder why) so they're going to glom onto you like a large, untreatable fungus and become your BFF, LYKE OMG.
Yeah, I swear.
Step Two
If you've associated yourself unwittingly with a particularly clandestine Asshat; How do I distance myself?
Well, this was the mistake I made. After about 3 months of a weird acquaintanceship that was fast turning into him coming to my floor and knocking on my door and the doors of all my friends, I was beginning to understand what I had gotten myself into. It was a little clinginess that had turned into a strange sort of dependence on female approval. He had possibly always had this little personality quirk, but I think being away from his parents (mothers count as female, and they can approve of their sons' behaviors) and his circle of close friends definitely helped the helplessness devolve into full on desperation.
In order to try and distance yourself, I'd suggest not answering text messages at all, or if you're too nice, then try to let the conversations fizzle as quickly as possible. Be busy, but don't lie about it. You want to be the innocent one in this situation so try to be kind, but distant. Don't give too much insight into the inner workings of your life, and do not, under any circumstances, ask about theirs in detail. A simple, "what's up" can lead to a lot of things that you just really really don't want to know about, as mentioned above.
Be vague, try and get them to follow the same route.
Step Three
Jesus, what the hell have I gotten myself into? AKA, How to be a bitch.
Well, you've hopefully attempted to distance yourself, and they're still persisting. If you really, genuinely don't want anything to do with this person, then this next step is particularly crucial. You have to be firm, concise and make sure that this person understand that you're not joking or kidding here. If they have a tendency to overlook/not listen to the truth/things they don't want to hear, you're going to have to force them to listen.
What I did might not have been the best course of action (he called yesterday after I had found out some amazingly phenomenal news) but I'm pretty sure it got the job done. He had been texting me and facebooking me all week even after I had told him to stop and give me some space. I was on cloud nine when he called me, and I was literally full and flowing over with happiness over my news, so naturally seeing his name on the caller ID fueled some sort of uber-passionate reaction. I picked up the phone and said clearly, concisely and with a tinge of malice in my voice, "_____, you need to stop trying to contact me. Stop facebooking me, stop texting me, and don't call me again. If I want to be your friend, I'll get in touch with you, but that won't be for a while at this point. Your desperation is annoying and frankly I'm tired of having to deal with you. Back off, and do not contact me again, OK?" Click.
End of conversation. I didn't let him get a word in edgewise because I was running on such a rush of adrenaline, but you know what, he deserved every word of it. The stalker-ish tendencies were beginning to scare me, and I was not enjoying his constant "we should start over," "lets be friends," bullshit.
Here are the facts:
1. We were never that close in the first place, having known each other only for a few months.
2. He almost never asked me about my life. Ever. It was always about his life and his problems.
3. He had absolutely no respect for my familial issues and was hell-bent on proving that "his life was worse than mine."
4. I didn't enjoy being around him.
If any of those line up with your situation, definitely evaluate your "friendship" and see if you really want to continue it. Start with step one, then gradually try and distance yourself politely, if that doesn't work and the person escalates to being stalker-ish or unpleasantly clingy, then I would move on and explain firmly and clearly that you want space and would appreciate it if they'd respect that and back off.
Easy, right?
Not really, but entirely necessary.
Yes it was a little mean, but I'm attempting to turn over a new slate. I want to be friends with people I feel or have felt comfortable around before. I'm trying to start with a blank slate, a tabula rasa, and I really want to move on from the high school dramatics and social stigmas that came with them. I'm apologizing and reconnecting and moving on. And it feels good and light.
Also helps that I'm probably never going to be staying in my hometown again for longer than a month or so. Which is really really wonderful to look forward to. :)
Love my family, don't really love the town. Excited to start over, sort of.
Anyways, there it is. Be friends with who you want to be friends with. Love without regrets, live fully and live hard. Take risks and make sure that you can say that you tried as hard as you could. Say proudly that you have exhausted all other possible alternatives, and you will live with a happy, unburdened heart.
If you make a mistake, own up to it, learn from it, and try to correct it. If you can't, move on and keep the lesson you learned close to your heart.
That's all. My advice.
That was a long one, maybe someone (besides Beth) is actually reading this.
Let me know, please!
Love,
Miss Guided
Posts
This was actually a rather entertaining post. Because I am creepy and awkward I like to go through a couple blogs every now and again so that's what brought me around your neck of the woods. Usually linked through other people.
ReplyDeletei think ill subscribe to see if you stay witty :)