Passionate and Impusive; How I rationalize being both.

This is a passion flower. A really pretty creative one.
That is what my brain looks like right now; all over the place, but generally optimistic all around. I look at the bright side of most situations, unless I'm talking to Taylor, Beth or Adam in which case my life is just about to end if I get a hangnail. They love me though. I think.

I have been described--more than once, and by more than one person--as very passionate.
Passionate, as in every action and every attempt at anything is made in a very forceful, full-on, balls-out sort of way. I go after what I want--or don't want, but consequentially need--pretty hard, and I've gotta say, that particular trait of mine has some pros, but its definitely got a few cons.
Pro-wise, I've been conditioned to be an optimist. Everything that could go wrong will go wrong and I'll still be running around with a stupid smile plastered on my face with Bob the Builder's (and Obama's) slogan dripping out my mouth like word-vomit. I will not give up until all options have been exhausted, and even then I'll turn into a stupid-driven person who's all "we can learn from this absolutely horrible experience!"
Except I never learn the most important lesson; don't get so passionate so fast.

See, the issue here is that I'll get super attached to ideas on a pretty immediate basis. Someone will bring something up (an opportunity or something), I'll do maybe an hour of basic research on it and then all of a sudden I'm applying for positions that sign me away to programs or activities that are humongous commitments. I don't think things through, rather I'm impulsive and I just do.
It's pretty ass-backward since a lot of people consider me a realist at best and a cynic at worst, so this personality quirk is the last thing you'd expect to see coming out of me.

However, it has come in handy in several ways.

1. I love fast, and I love hard.
Not in the physical sense, you perv, but in the emotional and intellectual sense. Passion extends to pretty much everything on my radar; subjects in school, friends, family, activities, boys, etc. I throw my full heart into everything I do, despite the inevitable emotional fuck-all roller-coasters that I put myself though. I'm the type where I'm not going to jump out of the plane if I have to think about it and go through those scare-tactic classes, but if you say "hey, there's a plane/cliff/helicopter jumping class today and they're letting people jump by the end of it," you can bet that I'll be hurling myself off some obscene height without a thought. Even if I have a confirmed fear of heights. Long and short of it is that I've had experiences not many people can say they've had, mostly because I do what I love, in the moment at least, and I chase my dreams.
To quote the Joker, "I'm like a dog after his tail! I desperately want it, but I have no idea what I'd do with it if I actually got it."

2. People like seeing that I'm "goal oriented."
Which I am. I have a set of goals, but it changes daily. Like right now I want to be an FBI agent because I'm feeling sort of thrill-seeker-y. But two years ago I wanted to be a surgeon (probably more because of Grey's Anatomy than anything), and before that (and still sort of now as my grounded, big-kid job aspiration) I wanted to be a psychologist.
And to be honest, I think I can do it all. It's going to be hard, and I'm probably going to want to pitch myself off one of those obscene heights I talked about in Number 1(sans any sort of safety device), but I'll do it.
Besides, my "passion for action" as I've described it to potential employers, has gotten me jobs. They like seeing someone optimistic and happy and "I can do it!" Also I think they enjoy my sense of humor and want someone to bounce abuse off of. I'm basically positive that's why I worked at Plato's Bucket-O'-Misery for so long.
(p.s. I don't suggest bashing your employers online, but they're totally cool with the nicknames and complaining because all of the employees and management do it in person anyways)

3. People are attracted to others with can-do personalities!
This is just sort of an added bonus. People like happy people. That's just kind of how it is. Yes, I complain a little (a lot on the blog at least) but for the most part, I'm a builder-upper. You can do it, and all that stuff is part of my mantra.
Worrying is good, but doing nothing about your worries is not. Like I said in the Dear Asshat post, you have to make your own luck. Pity doesn't really exist in "Real Life," you gotta make things happen for you.

Anyways, I want these hiking boots.
They're cute in a sort of rugged-ass-kicking way, while also being functional and able to propel me through this horrible onslaught of white stuff that was recently dumped on my school.


They're kickass without being too fake-leather, rubber hiking-ish. Do you know what I mean? Durable and practical without the ugly, and charming without the pastel.

I think I just described myself. Maybe. I'm a little charming, right?
Sort of.
Anyways the point of the rant was that I'm trying to rationalize some pretty rash actions on my part. Also, go with your heart; if it's telling you to take the job on the other side of the world despite the risks, go buy the plane ticket. You're only going to live once and you're going to fuck up. At least make interesting mistakes, okay?

Going to stop babbling now.
Love you all,
Miss Guided.