Dear Obnoxious Asshat,
I swear to G-d, my head is going to explode if you facebook messages/text messages/etc. me one more time. How many times have I ignored your text/facebook "hellos" and "heys" and all that, only to have you send me fifty bagillion more texts/messages saying "r u there?" "r u ignoring me?" etc.
Seriously, what the hell?
Yes, I am ignoring you. No, texting me a million more times will not help you in your quest. It might make me file a restraining order, but no, it won't help you. So stop.
Seriously, how many hints do you need? You are a jerk, and an overdramatic little person who acts more like a 12 year old girl than an 18 year old boy. Yes, shit happens, and you're supposed to complain to your friends about it. But there comes a time when your problems are not as important as mine.
Actually, in my world, your problems aren't even a blip on my radar. I couldn't care less if you stubbed your toe or failed ANOTHER exam or fucked another dumb bimbo, because hey, guess what, we're really not that close and it's usually your fault. You earned that GPA last semester all by yourself, kiddo, and while the rest of us were studying or prepping for finals, you were on facebook talking to that girl who EVERYONE told you was bad news. High school stays in high school, college in college. That's how it is and should be. You deserve the grades you got, and I have no pity for any problems that come from those shenanigans. (I just had to spell check that word. Bahahahah, oh Word.)
I met you maybe 5 months ago, and you were kind of cool then. A generally fun person to party with, and fairly amusing to watch interact with the rest of the world. Then my family issues came along and not once did you ask what was wrong with me, or why I was gone from school for 15 days or any of that. Not that I expected you to, because those honors lie with people who I've put my trust in and who have put their trust in me. Also, people who have known me for longer than a few weeks.
All was well, no matter how insensitive and oblivious you were to everything/one around you that wasn't asking directly about your well-being.
Then, oh-my-gosh the world ended.
Not really, actually your ex did what all high schoolers are supposed to do. And you flipped out and texted me and manipulated me into going to see you (when I was dealing with my mother on the phone who had just had very painful surgery) to ask you what was the matter.
Now, I am not a huggy person. Not touchy-feely or anything unless I know and trust you. And I will tell people when I trust them.
But you, no. I don't and probably never will trust you.
So it was obviously a surprise when you--in all your manly glory--flung the door open, enveloped me in a sweaty, nasty hug and started wailing about your life.
You infuriated me, to say the least, and I left to go rant to one of the most fabulous, wonderful human beings on the planet (no, not you Adam, though you are quite wonderful), Miss Beth. (Who will start guest-writing soon! Yayyyyy!!!!)
Miss Beth let me rant and rave while we did laundry, and then I realized that I have absolutely no obligation to deal with you. We are not that close--and to be honest, if you act like this with all your friends, I don't want to be very close to you--and we aren't suitable matches as friends.
So there.
And after you did that awful thing to someone who I consider a close friend? Then denied it and tried to blame it on her?!
Seriously?!
You are the definition of an asshat, and I don't care if you read this. In fact, I think you need to.
Newsflash, punk; you're a selfish, spoiled child who hasn't learned to grow up and deal with your own mistakes and problems. We all hit bad patches, but those who get out of it are the ones who push forward and make their own luck.
There's no such thing as pity in the real world, and you're not getting any from this very real girl.
Sincerely,
Miss Guided
p.s. Please stop trying to contact me or trying to stir up more trouble. No one wants any more of the high school drama other than you. Let. It. Go.
p.p.s. Mike, thank you for listening. You're half angel, half hilarious person and have a wholly awesome haircut, no matter what you think.
Dear You,
Yes, I was an idiot. I de-friended you on facebook after a stupid fight, and I had too much pride to add you back. So when you added me 3 months later, I freaked.
Lame, I know, but whatever; I freaked inwardly and to Miss Beth. She's like an extra brain that's just conveniently not attached to my head.
After another rant session with her, I decided to keep you around and see if you said anything like "sorry" or even just a pick-up like "hi, how's it going?"
No such luck.
So I de-friended you again after two weeks.
Then, in all my pathetic glory, re-friended you after a day.
Cue rant to Miss Taylor (the wonderful person who deals with me from another state), and she makes me feel like less of a twat.
Now, when I send you a "hey" on Skype or on facebook, I expect to see a concilatory "hey" right back. Why wouldn't you?
Okay, well I know why you wouldn't.
1. I'm a bitch.
2. I'm an overdramatic bitch.
3. I was immature.
4. I still am immature.
5. And always will be immature.
6. You're pissed at me because:
I swear to G-d, my head is going to explode if you facebook messages/text messages/etc. me one more time. How many times have I ignored your text/facebook "hellos" and "heys" and all that, only to have you send me fifty bagillion more texts/messages saying "r u there?" "r u ignoring me?" etc.
Seriously, what the hell?
Yes, I am ignoring you. No, texting me a million more times will not help you in your quest. It might make me file a restraining order, but no, it won't help you. So stop.
Seriously, how many hints do you need? You are a jerk, and an overdramatic little person who acts more like a 12 year old girl than an 18 year old boy. Yes, shit happens, and you're supposed to complain to your friends about it. But there comes a time when your problems are not as important as mine.
Actually, in my world, your problems aren't even a blip on my radar. I couldn't care less if you stubbed your toe or failed ANOTHER exam or fucked another dumb bimbo, because hey, guess what, we're really not that close and it's usually your fault. You earned that GPA last semester all by yourself, kiddo, and while the rest of us were studying or prepping for finals, you were on facebook talking to that girl who EVERYONE told you was bad news. High school stays in high school, college in college. That's how it is and should be. You deserve the grades you got, and I have no pity for any problems that come from those shenanigans. (I just had to spell check that word. Bahahahah, oh Word.)
I met you maybe 5 months ago, and you were kind of cool then. A generally fun person to party with, and fairly amusing to watch interact with the rest of the world. Then my family issues came along and not once did you ask what was wrong with me, or why I was gone from school for 15 days or any of that. Not that I expected you to, because those honors lie with people who I've put my trust in and who have put their trust in me. Also, people who have known me for longer than a few weeks.
All was well, no matter how insensitive and oblivious you were to everything/one around you that wasn't asking directly about your well-being.
Then, oh-my-gosh the world ended.
Not really, actually your ex did what all high schoolers are supposed to do. And you flipped out and texted me and manipulated me into going to see you (when I was dealing with my mother on the phone who had just had very painful surgery) to ask you what was the matter.
Now, I am not a huggy person. Not touchy-feely or anything unless I know and trust you. And I will tell people when I trust them.
But you, no. I don't and probably never will trust you.
So it was obviously a surprise when you--in all your manly glory--flung the door open, enveloped me in a sweaty, nasty hug and started wailing about your life.
You infuriated me, to say the least, and I left to go rant to one of the most fabulous, wonderful human beings on the planet (no, not you Adam, though you are quite wonderful), Miss Beth. (Who will start guest-writing soon! Yayyyyy!!!!)
Miss Beth let me rant and rave while we did laundry, and then I realized that I have absolutely no obligation to deal with you. We are not that close--and to be honest, if you act like this with all your friends, I don't want to be very close to you--and we aren't suitable matches as friends.
So there.
And after you did that awful thing to someone who I consider a close friend? Then denied it and tried to blame it on her?!
Seriously?!
You are the definition of an asshat, and I don't care if you read this. In fact, I think you need to.
Newsflash, punk; you're a selfish, spoiled child who hasn't learned to grow up and deal with your own mistakes and problems. We all hit bad patches, but those who get out of it are the ones who push forward and make their own luck.
There's no such thing as pity in the real world, and you're not getting any from this very real girl.
Sincerely,
Miss Guided
p.s. Please stop trying to contact me or trying to stir up more trouble. No one wants any more of the high school drama other than you. Let. It. Go.
p.p.s. Mike, thank you for listening. You're half angel, half hilarious person and have a wholly awesome haircut, no matter what you think.
Dear You,
Yes, I was an idiot. I de-friended you on facebook after a stupid fight, and I had too much pride to add you back. So when you added me 3 months later, I freaked.
Lame, I know, but whatever; I freaked inwardly and to Miss Beth. She's like an extra brain that's just conveniently not attached to my head.
After another rant session with her, I decided to keep you around and see if you said anything like "sorry" or even just a pick-up like "hi, how's it going?"
No such luck.
So I de-friended you again after two weeks.
Then, in all my pathetic glory, re-friended you after a day.
Cue rant to Miss Taylor (the wonderful person who deals with me from another state), and she makes me feel like less of a twat.
Now, when I send you a "hey" on Skype or on facebook, I expect to see a concilatory "hey" right back. Why wouldn't you?
Okay, well I know why you wouldn't.
1. I'm a bitch.
2. I'm an overdramatic bitch.
3. I was immature.
4. I still am immature.
5. And always will be immature.
6. You're pissed at me because:
- of the de-friending
- of my 4 month long silence
- of my idiocy
- of that horrible message I sent you
So. Here's my official apology, even if you are still kind of a D-bag. If it makes you feel any better at all, I still think of you as my D-bag. So there.
I'm sorry I was a horrible awful evil ice bitch.
Respond next time. Or take the first step. One of the two.
Sincerely,
Me.
I'm sorry I was a horrible awful evil ice bitch.
Respond next time. Or take the first step. One of the two.
Sincerely,
Me.
Posts
Oh come on, Valentine's Day was approaching, maybe he just wanted a date. :-)
ReplyDeleteDear Jaci,
ReplyDeleteI read the top about the little girl boy, (yes Ik i was just back paging to see how long you had been writting this and all <.< >.>) and it reminds me a certain someone who i had to deal with and who decided that we needed to decide what was going to happen with our relationship or just end it there. It ended up me telling him to pull up his big boy pants and he defriended me. Oh well, lots less drama in my life now. But yea, just reminded me of what I went through. Anyways, I hope everything is well with you, and I saw your comment on facebook... i just don't answer anyone really, which is probably a really bad thing, but facebook just isn't a big thing with me anymore. But my sister said she saw you too. Anyways, saw you're going to Maine! Lucky, have fun!
-Allison