Monday, May 24, 2010

Its not stalking, its people-watching!


I really like to people-watch.
It's not stalking, I swear. It's people-watching. Like bird-watching, but more interesting because you're looking at things that have the same number of chromosomes as you, and you're sitting there wondering if you do things like they do.
There are lots of places to people-watch and be a general creeper, but there are a few really specific places that I love to go because it means I can sit behind my laptop, write (or pretend to write as it usually ends up), and then just watch people come and go and look at all the different types of faces and hear all the voices and just soak up social interaction without actually having to be social. We all do that, it's just that I think I do it more often than most people. I love to see how others interact, how couples kind of fall into place next to each other if they're in love or how they physically separate themselves if they're not (anymore).
Also, it makes it very easy to witness awesome things that you normally wouldn't if you weren't watching closely. I saw a guy donate a sandwich from Jimmy Johns to a homeless guy once, then sit down to eat lunch with him and talk; that kind of stuff makes me very happy.
I once saw an old couple feed each other a bite of granola each, then the old man kissed her cheek. It was precious.
I also regularly witness people picking their noses. But that comes with the territory.

So, I'm giving you (all two of you who actually read this) my favorite places to (creep) people-watch.

Top 5 List of Best places to People-Watch:

1. Airport
Everyone (except for the truly phobic and not-fit-for-public folks) flies at some point in their lives if you're living in modern America. There is no easier way to get to far out places and to be honest, I think people get really excited--no matter how old they are--about getting on planes. There's something awesome about it that no one can explain, but we do it anyways.
Anyways, the airport is freaking awesome just for the reason that everyone goes. Yeah, you've got your boring suits and the regular airpot security people basically dominating the place, but in between are some wacky folks. And--if your luck is anything like mine--you'll probably end up sitting next to one of the more interesting ones who have done something spectacular that they are on their way home from. You learn a lot about people when they're stressed out (and who isn't stressed out these days about getting through security?) and it's fun to see the different ways people dress and act when they're being watched by hawks who are ready to tackle them to the ground for just about any reason. Then again...sometimes they do have reason to be a little suspicious of folks who do this.

2. Library
I am positive that I am not the only weirdo who creeps on people in the library. When those around you are entirely engrossed in whatever they're procrastinating their homework on, it's really easy to just space out and watch them. Or, if you're in the computer clusters/labs, you can sometimes see what people are Googling or looking at and you learn something about them. Like the guy who I sat next to in my criminal research class? He had no clue how to use the research databases we were supposed to be searching for journal articles, so instead, he went onto his fantasy football thing and started cursing under his breath about something.
Or, what I always like to see, is when people are on websites that "mature college kids" shouldn't generally frequent. Like neopets. Or barbie.com. Because I've seen it, and it's a little funny, a little sad, and a lot telling.
No one should let go of their childhoods!
Also, people have a tendency to forget themselves when they're really into what they're studying, so they start doing weird shit that they normally wouldn't while in public.

No, I've never seen this in real life, but someone probably has.

3. Mall
This is obvious. Teeny boppers are stupid, insipid little creatures who sometimes have less personality than infants BUT they're fucking hilarious to watch while in packs. They group together like a big amoeba made of Hollister and too much eyeliner and giggle and shriek at whatever comes their way.
Old folks are also fun to watch in malls; they have absolutely no clue what to do with the cacophony and are totally befuddled by the masses of people. They scuttle from shop to shop, armed with oversized bags that they use as pseudo-shields. If one of the vendors says something to them, they freak; hold up their bags, shake their heads "no" over-emphatically, and scurry toward wherever it is they're going, eyes wide and buggy behind their massively thick glasses.
And around Valentine's Day and the winter holidays, you see men more often looking really, pathetically confused in jewelry stores as too-peppy, perky-scary-happy saleswomen try to push them toward stuff they really really shouldn't be buying.
Here's a bit of advice on that subject, boys: If it scares you to look at the ring display and you cringe when your girlfriend drops meteor-sized hints about possibly-maybe-starting to think about "it," then either walk away from the store and go get her a book or something personal but not commitment-defining, or re-evaluate your relationship.
Don't buy it if you're not ready, and for G-d's sake don't be bullied into buying it!

4. Coffee Houses
My mom bought me the little bingo-cards you see below. It's called cafe bingo and it was made for someone like me (read: a creeper) so that me and my creeper friends (read: taylor and beth) can be creepers with a purpose.
Anyways, coffee houses are great because there are people studying (so the library thing), people talking to each other and interacting(so the mall thing), and you have the crazies (because everyone likes coffee or tea, just like how almost everyone uses the airport, no matter how weird they are). Its like a big old jumble of insanity and I love it.
Also, I love coffee. A lot. Taylor and I went today and there were people playing "Magic: The Gathering." 'Nuff said.

5. Bookstores
Ok yes lets get over the fact that I'm a bookworm and a nerd/geek/freak whatever. Ok yes I like to read. A lot. And yes, I also enjoy going to bookstores and just looking at the cover art because that shit is fucking gorgeous. I want to do cover art someday, but doubtful that I'll ever be able to unless I write my own book. Which is also obscenely doubtful since I can barely update this with any regularity.


Getting over all that, bookstores are great because of the people who frequent them. There are obnoxious hipsters, yeah (if I see one more male wearing jorts, a lumberjack beard and/or those glasses, I'm gonna scream), but there are also some really really interesting types. The littler, older bookstores are the best because you usually get into the most fascinating conversations with the owners if you ask the right questions(who are by trade just amazingly interesting) and you learn about random things. Bookstores are more for conversational people-watching, which is why they're at the end of the list, but they're good if you feel like being social with people who you're not always social with.

My basic point is this:
G-d is great, Modern transportation is good, books are better, and people are fucking nuts.

Love,
Miss G.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Things That Make Me Cry.

Normal nights when we aren't being idiots. The pretty one on the left is Beth. The idiot with the awkward shiny spot (on the right) is me.


As it is, I'm the type of girl who cries when it's not appropriate. I don't cry at funerals unless I have to say something, I rarely cry if something awful happens to me or my family, but I will cry at the mere thought of something horrible happening to someone I love. I imagine these horrible terrible scenarios where I lose someone I'm close to, or I'm the one who's lost and I forgot to say something important to someone important...really the list goes on. The things I think of right before I fall asleep are anything but pleasant, so it's really not a wonder that it takes me hours to really get to sleep. I cry in private or with those I trust if it's really something that I shouldn't be alone to deal with. Had a bit of experience with the whole "needing someone to make sure I don't make good on sarcastic (and totally not serious, by the way) comments about flinging myself off the nearest building above six stories tall," so I've finally grasped the importance behind having someone there. Even if I don't want people to see me all red-eyed and teary and goobery.

Anyways, Beth and I were recently sitting in our floor lounge one night, and then somehow we got on the subject of crying and I realized that I hadn't cried since I found out about my Uncle dying. Really, that's quite a long time for me (November), so jump a few minutes in the conversation and we're reading this pathetically sad website, and I'm bawling. Then Beth gets this idea to listen to sad songs, and about 20 minutes after that, she's a mess and I'm barely holding it together.
That's literally how we spent our night. Talking about sad stuff and then crying about said sadness, then laughing hysterically at ourselves for being so pathetic, and then we decided to just roll with it.
So we cried. For about 3 hours, sitting in the lounge, listening to sad songs.

Feel free.

And you know what? It felt damn good right afterward. I liked the feeling of just bawling my eyes out for a certain amount of time, and it was just...cathartic. That's the word, cathartic.
Like I was letting just a whole five month's worth of frustration and little bits of "sad" out in one big rush.
I felt soooo much better the next day, thank goodness. I literally woke up smiling for some reason.
Then I hit my head on Grace's bed, so I stopped smiling.

Anyways, this post is kind of going to be a little bit more of that cathartic-ness. I like things that make me cry, but only when I feel like actually doing that crying. If you're looking to bawl your eyes out, check those songs out and really really listen to the lyrics. If you're really looking to cry, read the first 6 chapters of Jane Eyre (my favorite book in the whole wide world) and just wallow in deep-set hatred of Victorian well-to-do families.
Then read Mansfield Park, and wonder if Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte were best friends. Because I'm basically positive that they were, logic be damned.

Without further babbling, here's a list of things that make me cry.

5. Leaving. Anything.
Even if I'm super happy to be doing the leaving, I'm still going to cry a little bit. Probably. Because in some way, wherever I end up changes me. The places I go and the people I meet always always always have some sort of an effect on me. I'm like a sponge; I take everything I can from the people/places I meet/live, and I just absorb it into my system for as long as I can. I don't give much (which is bad), but I take and take and take from the people I meet, and then I try and wring myself out on someone else, so they can benefit at least a fraction of how much as I did.

4. GivesMeHope.Com and MakesMeThink.Com
Really?! Really, someone had to make these websites just for the sole purpose of sickos like me who like to read inspirational/tragic/happy stories that literally bring tears to your eyes (if you're not an ogre). Beth and I timed it; it took me 3 pages to start crying, but it took her 4. Then we listened to this Christmas song that she really likes and that was just the end of that.

3. Sad (Country) Songs
Who I Am- Jessica Andrews
Letter to Me- Brad Paisley
100 Years- The Fray
Where Are You Christmas- Faith Hill (Beth's Special)
In the Arms of the Angels- Sarah McLachlan
I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan
Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
Graduation Song -Vitamin C
Cat's in the Cradle- Henry Chapin
Mad World- Gary Jules
Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova- Oasis
You and Me- Lifehouse (don't ask.)
Hanging by a Moment- (also Lifehouse?)

I told you I'm not an appropriate-time cry-er. Who the fuck starts bawling when Brad Paisley comes on the radio?!

Any of these songs will make me cry. This one time, Adam sang me 100 Years; I didn't cry, I laughed because believe it or not this kid hit the high notes. But otherwise it makes me cry. Some of these I have special memories attached to. The Oasis songs are from Israel; I have special memories of beautiful people singing these songs every chance they got. They sang one of them on the last day as we were all getting on planes back to New York, then home. I didn't stop crying for about two hours after that.
Mad World just makes me think of sad children. I don't know why, but I hate it when children are sad, because then they cry and I want to cry with them. When a child is truly sad--not because his or her favorite toy broke, but truly, deeply sad--the world feels like it stops a little for me. In my head, until you know how babies are made, you are still a baby and therefore should never be forced to experience true, digging sadness. The kind that sticks to your ribs around your heart should only be reserved for those of us who understand that life really isn't sunshine, rainbows and (beer) cupcakes.

2. Very Talented Children
Swear to g-d, I started crying out of sheer astonishment this one time I was watching a youtube video (with Beth) of a kid who had such a beautiful voice. I think it was that Britain's Got Talent show with the little guy who belted the Michael Jackson song. I cried. Long and hard. (that's what sheeee said.)


Go on, don't cry, I dare you.

1. Re-reading old letters that I've never sent. I have like six of them that I've written to one person since I was 14. Almost every major life event, I've written him/her a letter. I hate having things unsaid, so maybe, just maybe I'll end up telling him/her what I've been holding in for so long.
By the way, I've literally read and re-read these letters (and subsequently cried on each of them) enough times that the letters are smudged from my fingerprints and other stuff. The more recent letters are usually covered in coffee.


Oh, here's what else I don't like, but less serious and more me.
1. bad coffee.
2. ugly pictures of me (not really crying as much as cringing and untagging from facebook)
3. packing. I hate packing.
4. knowing that you have to pee, but not wanting to get up just then, but still knowing you have to get up eventually. I hate that, I have no idea why.
5. cucumbers. I can't stand them, but I love pickles.

I was recently teased by a certain wanna-be cop for putting "Love, Miss Guided" at the end of a post, so believe it or not I actually considered not putting it on this time. Then I realized I really do not enjoy being around said wanna-be cop (probably for the reason that he's a verbally abusive little bitch), and I really don't give a flying rat's ass what he thinks. :)

So.

LOVE (Love love love, because fuck you.)
Miss Guided.