You know, I think I hate the holiday season.
It makes me feel very nostalgic, like I missed a whole lot of life that happened when I was a kid, even though I know I was there and experienced it and have the memories. Its like it didn't last long enough to make a difference, and now I'm stuck feeling awkward if I really desperately want to go sledding down the (man-made) hill in my neighborhood at home, and no one else wants to go.
Then, there's also the fact that there are new things to do with my friends; go to parties, go to bars downtown and flirt with boys that are the same age as the cute TA back at school (and possibly are TAs themselves) and suddenly being in college doesn't matter so much.
Because despite the fact that I thought it would make all the difference in the world and make me feel new again, I just feel like I'm in another year of high school.
The boys are skeezier, the girls are sluttier, and I don't have the comfort of being able to curl up in my bed, in my room (with my locks on the door) with my books and just forget for a while. Break is good for that.
I know that's obviously not the healthiest way of looking at it, but I'm hoping it'll do for now.
Anyways, I wanted to comment on something that I'm sure a lot of you are feeling right about now; loneliness.
It can be suffocating; you know the silence right before you can drift off to sleep? The roaring dullness of no one else's breathing, and no creaks to signal some sort of sympathetic life, can sometimes be overwhelming. Sometimes its all you think about; I know I have those days.
How to get rid of it? During the holidays it can be hard; your friends are around, but they're also with their families or on vacation, and your family obviously can't fill certain voids, but you can always make yourself busy. Take on a short-term project, or get in touch with people you haven't talked to in forever.
Or--to be honest this is probably what most of us are going to do--find a temporary fix. Find a holiday-person; someone to be with and to hang out with over the break, someone who's probably looking for the same thing. Breaks and no school can do funny things to the people you'd least expect.
Anyways, happier note? My last final is tomorrow; I'm not nearly as prepared as I should be, but I think I'll end up doing alright...I hope. :)
Another note? My best friend is an absolutely phenomenal photographer, and I'm linking her here just in case there are actually people (besides her) who read this. She's a wonderful, fantastic artist and she has a ton more stuff that she has yet to put on her Flickr that will (hopefully) be up over break. Honestly, she's amazing, and you will enjoy what you see, I promise.
Here she is: PhotograTay
Short post this week! Finals and all that, plus some family issues that I'm not going to share over the internet. :)
Have a good week!
Miss Guided
It makes me feel very nostalgic, like I missed a whole lot of life that happened when I was a kid, even though I know I was there and experienced it and have the memories. Its like it didn't last long enough to make a difference, and now I'm stuck feeling awkward if I really desperately want to go sledding down the (man-made) hill in my neighborhood at home, and no one else wants to go.
Then, there's also the fact that there are new things to do with my friends; go to parties, go to bars downtown and flirt with boys that are the same age as the cute TA back at school (and possibly are TAs themselves) and suddenly being in college doesn't matter so much.
Because despite the fact that I thought it would make all the difference in the world and make me feel new again, I just feel like I'm in another year of high school.
The boys are skeezier, the girls are sluttier, and I don't have the comfort of being able to curl up in my bed, in my room (with my locks on the door) with my books and just forget for a while. Break is good for that.
I know that's obviously not the healthiest way of looking at it, but I'm hoping it'll do for now.
Anyways, I wanted to comment on something that I'm sure a lot of you are feeling right about now; loneliness.
It can be suffocating; you know the silence right before you can drift off to sleep? The roaring dullness of no one else's breathing, and no creaks to signal some sort of sympathetic life, can sometimes be overwhelming. Sometimes its all you think about; I know I have those days.
How to get rid of it? During the holidays it can be hard; your friends are around, but they're also with their families or on vacation, and your family obviously can't fill certain voids, but you can always make yourself busy. Take on a short-term project, or get in touch with people you haven't talked to in forever.
Or--to be honest this is probably what most of us are going to do--find a temporary fix. Find a holiday-person; someone to be with and to hang out with over the break, someone who's probably looking for the same thing. Breaks and no school can do funny things to the people you'd least expect.
Anyways, happier note? My last final is tomorrow; I'm not nearly as prepared as I should be, but I think I'll end up doing alright...I hope. :)
Another note? My best friend is an absolutely phenomenal photographer, and I'm linking her here just in case there are actually people (besides her) who read this. She's a wonderful, fantastic artist and she has a ton more stuff that she has yet to put on her Flickr that will (hopefully) be up over break. Honestly, she's amazing, and you will enjoy what you see, I promise.
Here she is: PhotograTay
Short post this week! Finals and all that, plus some family issues that I'm not going to share over the internet. :)
Have a good week!
Miss Guided
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