How to be Embarrassed Gracefully...Sort of...

Welcome to my life.

Ok, so this post is going to be like an extended Embarrassing Moment for me and for those who I know (without names or pointed fingers, besides the experiences that are my own), because I think a really really important skill that everyone should have is to know how to deal with being embarrassed. Recently, my underwear was hanging out of my pants. Super classy, I know, but hey it happens sometimes when the only things I have that are clean are a really really tiny thong and my fat-jeans (even when I'm having a skinny-day). So, the strings are visible and I haven't got a clue because I'm just concentrating on making sure that my pants are around my hips and not my ankles.

Cue "A Good Friend" (you know who you are, because I'm forcing you to read this), who tells me clandestinely that, hey your underwear is hanging out and you sort of look like a skanky idiot (obviously he/she didn't say the last part, because that would be mean and he/she is everything but mean). I believe I dealt with it rather gracefully because a) I didn't turn beet-red and have a panic-attack, b)I laughed it off, assured him/her not to be worried and that I was indeed thankful for his/her diligence in Making-Sure-I-Don't-Look-Like-A-Moron (caps because it happens on a regular basis and someone's gotta make sure that I can function semi-normally in society) and c)I dealt with it and moved on. I didn't turn it into an awkward silence, I didn't make a bit spectacle out of pulling up my pants and trying to save face (not that I really could), and I didn't start crying and run into the bathroom to sob my sorrows and awkwardness away.
Because I know that it could have been worse, and it wasn't.

It could totally have been worse.

So. Embarrassing story of the week over with, here's the reason behind my rambling.

Here's a universal truth; no matter how cool, beautiful or talented/wonderful/fantastic you are, you are going to embarrass yourself and those around you at one point or another. It's just going to happen, there's nothing you can do about the fact that it will, so you might as well learn how to deal with it when it does. Those of you who don't will be doomed to be forever ungraceful and ungrateful when an embarrassing moment comes along (yes, you should be grateful, I'll explain why in a bit).

So, in order to save the planet from a bunch of bumbling goobers who blush tomato-red whenever they trip on a branch or stutter just a bit in class, I've compiled a little list (surprise, Miss Guided the Queen of Lists and Lessons She's Learned from Living Life like one of those Goobers) of how to deal with those embarrassing moments.

Dude, I totally get you. It's ok, it'll be over soon.

1. The Immediate Recovery
So, you've tripped on your way out of the bar (not that I know anyone who's eaten shit while stumbling drunk somewhere out the door, oh no sir, right, T?), and now your ass is in the air and you're struggling to get up without making an even bigger fool of yourself than you already have. Fun fact, you can turn this embarrassing moment into a good one by doing one little thing.
Laugh.
Seriously, those people who say that laughter is the best medicine are the ones who succeed in life because they don't let the little things get them down. They might have that initial min-heart attack because no one likes to trip in public (or in private, but that's another story), and it's human nature to judge oneself and others, but laughing in the face of adversary is one of the best things to do.
If someone is out to embarrass you, for example by posting something nasty on your Facebook wall or shooting out snippy nit-pick comment after a speech you've prepped for hours for about how you didn't pronounce "epitome" right (ep-eh-toh-mie, not "eh-pi-toh-muh," you stupid ninny), the best revenge is amusement. If they think it didn't affect you, it burns a little because now they're embarrassed for themselves and their petty, low-grade behavior.
Also, if a trashy frat-guy grabs your butt while you're attempting to un-eat shit after tripping, laugh it off still, and attempt to get your drunken self out the door and as far away from Douchey McDoucher as possible.

I really don't know how you're going to save yourself after this. Really, I don't.

2. Backpedaling is a No-No; Save Face and Move Forward
I don't care how embarrassed you get, I don't care what stupid thing you said, did or implied, whatever you do, do NOT backpedal or try to say "that's not what I meant."
I don't care if that's what you meant, move forward, explain if someone has been offended, but whatever you do, don't stutter around an excuse for something you did if, at the time, there was nothing to be done about it.
Now, I'm not saying that if you offend someone and didn't realize what you were saying was going to be offensive, not to apologize; because if that's the case, you should definitely apologize, explaining that you're very very sorry that you offended them and that you'll be more careful in the future. If you say something stupid about yourself, for example like a Freudian slip or pronounce something wrong--can you tell this has scarred me? ok, so for those of you who went to high school with me, you'll know who I'm talking about when I say I had an English teacher in my Sophomore years honors class who's hips don't lie; the kid in my class who called me out had a tendency to kick the back of whoever's desk and to be a general know-it-all suck up while still being the most obnoxious person in the room. Added bonus was that you couldn't tell him to STFU because he had a "problem." Yeah, well I have problems too, and one of them was him!--whew, ok so if you pronounce something wrong, a good plan would be to just say, "Haha, whoops, I meant blah blah blah" and say nothing more about it.

Also, I've learned that thanking the dick who calls you out on something stupid overtly enthusiastically makes them feel like more of douche, and gets giggles from everyone else because chances are if he/she is embarrassing you, he/she has embarrassed others and they all want revenge too.

You know that really awful dream where you forget your pants to go to school? Yeah, about that...

Anyways.

3. Be Grateful and Graceful by Staying CALM.
Seriously, this is the last and most important step and if you forget to do it, your life will end up in shambles of embarrassment for both you and those who love you. So, no pressure, but seriously chill the fuck out.
If you stay calm, if you have a little giggle, get up, brush it off and keep going without forgetting to breathe, nothing bad will happen to you. Yes, you've been embarrassed (congrats, I do it like 3o times a day and I'm still alive), but you can pick up and move on as long as you force yourself to move on. I don't mean to forget it, because we can all learn from our mistakes, but you do need to make sure that you don't let it overwhelm you right then.
Later on, feel free to burst into tears (not suggested, because it'll stress you out more, but still if you need to, go right ahead), but right there in the moment, take a deep breath and just keep doing what you're doing. Others will forget if you just acknowledge it and move on, because there will be nothing much to make fun of; you recovered, you laughed at yourself showing how not-into-yourself you are, and you moved on. Sure, they may rib you, but don't let it bug you; wait about a week and something will happen to one of them and you can do the same (nicely, because you're a nice person, right?).
Also, be grateful it wasn't something worse. Just imagine a worst case scenario, realize that it probably didn't and won't happen to you, and be thankful.

I recently had a terribly embarrassing experience in front of a class. Since my Hips-Don't-Lie teacher from high school scarred me so much when it comes to public speaking, I have a habit of forgetting to breathe whenever I have to give a speech. Beyond embarrassing, let me tell you. However I know that it will, almost inevitably, happen every time I give a speech, so I've developed a strategy for coping.
First, I get through the beginning of whatever I need to do. I try to remember to breathe initially but it's usually useless to even attempt it because I'll just end up hyperventilating instead. After the initial shock wears off, and there is a natural break in the speech, I suck in a big, loud breath of air.

Ok, this is weird because it's embarrassing, I know it, and I do it anyways, but it's my system and I've learned to cope this way, so shut up and keep reading.

After my big breath of life, people usually start to snicker, and go into step two of how Miss-G-Makes-Life-Entertaining-For-Everyone-Else, by cracking some sort of joke I've cracked 100 million times about forgetting to breathe. Last time I forgot this, so I totally obliterated Step 1 of my little post-Guide, but stay with me and see why this was bad.
Since I didn't crack a joke, the snickers stayed and my friends started making faces at me. Soooo funny guys, really you're both hilarious. Stupid wanna-be cops think they're all comedians, when in reality they just like making fun of those of us who HAVE INGRAINED FEARS OF SPEAKING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. Jerks.

Anyways, so I forgot to joke, and I was more embarrassed. The rest of my group fumbled along in their parts of the presentation, and then it was back to me, I took a breath, mentally told myself to just get over it and move on. So I did.

I was a little breathy, a little gaspy but for the most part I got through my explanation, and I was even able to jump in and save one of my group members at the end of her slide. I was proud, because I was saving face.

The last step? I totally forgot about it, and was embarrassed again after class. My "friends," the two wanna-be cops from earlier, immediately started teasing me because of my whole not-breathing episode. I hit one of them with an umbrella multiple times (not hard, just enough to get the point across), rose to the bait, and felt more embarrassed, but by the time we got outside I was calmer, and much more level headed. Sort of. I whacked him again just for shits and giggles.

I calmed down though, explained that I was happy it was over, and moved on in the end. I only freaked out for real later when I was alone, but I'm taking care of it and (fingers crossed) I don't think my grade will suffer because of my stage fright.

At least this didn't happen. Gosh I'd be so upset if another girl wore the same dress as me to Walmart.

Moral of the Story? Do as I say, not as I do, and learn from MY mistakes.

Love,
Miss Guided

disney, to this.

I will be the first to admit to having a Disney obsession. I grew up in that decade, the 90s where every girl learned to have these absolutely fantastic dreams of being discovered as the crown princess of somewhere.

She'd go on a journey to some place, learning along the way how to behave and be like a princess, while her "true" self was being a little bit suffocated. She'd invariably meet her "Prince"--more often than not, he was a pauper who went on this whole self-depreciating rant when she eventually was recognized as a princess--and they'd fall in love.

They'd have great chemistry (we're not talking about the Little Mermaid here, which was way too dysfunctional for words; we're talking about something along the lines of Anastasia or Pocahontas), and have banter back and forth (sometimes). They'd get over their fighting, see that it was love, and happily ever after ensued after the bad guy was defeated.

At the end, she'd find out that her "true self" was the most important thing, and she'd still be the confident, quirky girl the movie started out with, just a little more mature/pretty/whatever.

What the hell.

This doesn't happen in real life, but honestly, would you want it to? Do you want your life to be turned upside-down because someone somewhere claims that you're royalty? I don't. Royalty means responsibility beyond the thousands of things I already have to worry about. Royalty means being under a microscope, under a constant watchful eye, at least according to Disney.

According to Disney, princesses are locked up inside towers, only let out when they decide that they're ready to find "true love." True love? Really, with the divorce rate today, true love seems to be a little bit far fetched.

At the same time, I'm a 90s girl, and that entails this weird quirk where I'm absolutely mesmerized by each and every single one of the stories, and the nights after I watch them, I'm left lying in bed (for longer than usual, it takes me forever to fall asleep) thinking about the impossibility of it all. I get a little frustrated sometimes, and I'm tossing and turning and thinking Well, what the hell? It could happen, right?

No, it actually couldn't.

Which is the point of this stupid rant. No matter how much you love the Disney stories, they will never happen in real life because you wished "once upon a December." Never, so there's no point in wishing for them.

Stop wishing, and start doing.

Do things you love, do things you want to do, do things you've always-forever wanted to do but never in a thousand of your most imaginative daydreams could you have thought you could do. Do them, because someone somewhere (I'll bet anything) told you you probably couldn't. Do them, because someone somewhere is thinking the same exact thing as you. Funny thing, you'll probably fall in love, while doing what you love. When you're happy, other people see that, making you infinitely more attractive; when you're happy, people want to be around you. Be happy, fall in love.

I don't believe in true love. I don't believe some Prince Charming will one day sweep me off my feet.

I believe in loving what I do, and loving who I'm with, when I'm with them. I live in the moment, for the moment, and its gotten me into trouble more times than I can count, but I'm happier than I've ever been today, because it's today and not yesterday.

It's today, and not yesterday, and not tomorrow; I don't worry when I'm happy, because I'm not thinking about what if and maybe and what did that mean?!

I love that feeling; I'm addicted to it, to the adrenaline rush behind doing something that I want to do. I'm addicted to now, and to the people in my now.

Whats funny is that whenever I do what I want, when I want to do it regardless of the possible repercussions on the "beaten path" that I'm veering from at the time, is that I meet the most fantastic people.



I added a major because I have a fascination with "the bad guy." I want to be the one bagging them, the one stopping them before they do more things to hurt more people, whoever they are. I want to be the one who falls in love with what I do, who I'm with, and what I've become. I want to be alright with myself morally, and for me, that means going to the ends of the earth to make sure that the people and places that I love are safe. Isn't that weird? Whatever it takes, too, I'll do it.

Isn't it weird that I go from Disney, to this?

Anyways, I think the tie-in is that I want nothing more than to do what I love, come home to whoever I end up loving, or do love now, and to be happy with who and what I've become.

It's 2 AM, give me a break.

Love,
MissG.

gonna get through it.

Promise.

Love,
Miss Guided

Why I Love Johnny Depp

I will be the first to readily admit I know next to nothing about the theater arts.
Next to nothing, as in I know which movies I love openly, I know which ones I hate openly, and I know which ones I am ashamed about liking.

However, just because I know next to nothing about something (oh, hey like basically everything outside of why serial murderers do what they do? Don't ask.), does not mean that I don't have an opinion about it. Just the opposite actually.

I think all people do this, by the way. Have opinions about things they know nothing about, I mean. It's frustrating, yes, but boundless learning opportunities, don't you think?

Anyways, I know what I love. I love Johnny Depp.

Not Elijah Wood, Johnny Depp. This is fucking creepy.

Why, you ask? (Probably not really, because I'm basically talking to myself here)
Well, I'll tell "you." (I should be institutionalized; I'm talking to the "voices.")

Speaking of institutionalizing...

I love him because I've never seen him play the same person twice; even in his sequels, he adds dimension and personality to his characters so much so that they morph into almost entirely new people every time they come onto the screens. Not only is he a character actor, he is a phenomenal character actor who takes it upon himself to create a memorable personality that the audience doesn't fall in love or hate with.

Its important that the audience doesn't love or hate his characters completely, because no one in real life can be hated or loved completely and by everyone.

Life is not black and white, life is not good and bad; life and the people who are playing in it are both dynamic, changing entities that are constantly growing or evolving to respond as best as possible to the situation at hand. (Cue applause)

Yes, some of his characters end up being deranged serial killers with fairly violent methods, but in those movies he was the "pitied" character regardless. His back story and his reasonings are so tragic that the audience CAN'T hate him for what he's doing; they root for him a little, actually. (Which, by the way, is usually just good casting on the part of his director(s)--Tim Burton, anyone?--and screen writers, but still, they recognize a catch when they see it.) And I think this is unique to him because, despite the wide array of character actors out there who are all quite good (sans certain teenaged "vampires" [fairies]), is because of his uncanny ability to really make the character real. None of us are purely good or bad, and he brings that realism to the big screen by making sure that none of his characters are either. He brings realism, to the most surreal, fantastic stories; if that's not talent, I don't know what is.


I think the point of this little ode to Johnny is that he embodies everything I believe about life when he acts out as "his" characters. I related to Sweeny Todd, I related to Jack Sparrow, and I related (a little) to the Mad Hatter (shut up) because I am human, therefore deeply flawed, and very very confused about every little decision I have to make in life.

I recently have had to make a lot of very impulsive decisions, a lot of very difficult ones to make, and his characters kind of jumped out at me one night when I Stumbled on one of his fansites. It's interesting because he never plays the "good guy/bad guy" role; he's always in the middle, always realistic (despite the wacko plot lines), and he gives us a little look at how the rest of us are fucking along in life.

Because honestly, who really knows what we're doing? (rhetorial question)

I don't, and my hindsight isn't even 20/20 because my vision is actually -9.50/20. (ahahaha. Oh, Miss G, you're so hilarious and there's no way you've used that line before (HA). Oh, how clever!)

We're all make decisions at the drop of a hat (a mad one?), we're all trying to get along as best we can, and despite the fact that we usually fuck something or other up along the way, we're usually all in it with the best intentions.

Right? Right.

In other news, I fell down the stairs last week, and the bruise on my arm still has not faded. Fun part of that is that the bruise is weirdly shaped like a hand, so I've been asked like three times whether or not I'm being abused by someone.

Uh, no...but hey thanks for caring, I guess. Then I have to explain what happened for real, and I get dirty looks.

Also, I have super-fantastic good news that's basically going to SAVE MY BUTT for next year and will ensure that I can stay at IU for the next 3 years. Get pumped.
I can't tell anyone yet though, not until 5pm tonight. So. 5pm tonight, facebook will hold all the answers to my excitement.

Love,
Miss Guided

P.S. Bad news of the day: I have officially developed allergies to everything in the world.
Not really.
But I developed lactose intolerance this year, and then when spring hit apparently my body decided that I'm allergic to all that is pretty and blooming. So, I've been a sneezing, runny-nosed, coughing mess and it's totally not cute at all. I feel like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer when I blow my nose.
And we all know how much I love sneezing.
Super attractive, right?!

Yep. That basically sums it up.

Four Delicious Things I Want to Make

1. Guinness Cupcakes: Do I need to explain this? These cupcakes look a little difficult to make, but at the same time...very simple idea. Simply mix the stout with a fairly traditional chocolate cupcake recipe, poke a hole in the top with a little holey-pokey thingy, fill to the brim, and bake. Also, the icing is made with Bailey's. My mother loves Bailey's. Loves. So, this may or may not be part of her Mother's Day present. Erring on the side of probably with a gigantic dose of definitely.

Photo credit; CHOW

2. The BIG GIGANTIC HUMONGOUS Salad of Delicious; I can't call it anything else, because honestly that's really all that it is. I will be honest, I am not a perfect girl, and I do not usually seek out salads to make and eat because they usually include things like copious amounts of NOT-delicious. I like steak. I like hamburgers. I am going to try to be a vegetarian this summer because I AM GOING TO CAMP. (Now, I love the fact that I'm going to camp [to be a counselor, you ninny; I'm young, I'm not a weirdo]. However, I'm going to err on the side of caution though and I'm going to avoid the camp meat. Camp and meat products have never boded well for me before.) Anyways, this salad combines all these wonderful flavors of tomatoes, avocado, feta, brown mushrooms (I'd sautee mine when I make this, just for extra flavor), shrimp (YUM), and get this...Miso. Miso is the stuff they make miso soup out of, silly (my mom calls it sock-soup, because it smells a little like socks; it's wonderful, just sock-ey). I'm going to attempt to pull this all together and figure out how to get that. Found this on the Guilty Kitchen!

Guilty Kitchen. Doesn't this look fantastic? I just want to eat the picture, that's all. I'll settle for anything.

3. A Chicken, Tomatoes and Garlic Easy Easy Lemon Peasy Dinner Dish: When I was home last, I complained about chicken catchetorri. Probably because I'm an ungrateful brat. Never again. This time, I will be the chicken-maker. And I will do it better. This recipe is from the Pioneer Woman (my favorite food/everything/lifestyle blog), and "oh-my-dear-Lord where does she come up with these things" recipe monger. It's a fairly lengthy amount of time to take for an "easy" dinner dish (especially in my family where we sometimes forget that no one's started dinner until around 7 or 8 when we're all wandering around the kitchen, pointing fingers and whining about being hungry), but it makes up for that by just being...easy! It's great. Salt and pepper some chicken pieces, cook 'em up in a pan with some butter and olive oil, then take them out, add some sherry, tomato chunks and tomato paste, stir and warm, add garlic, and basil. Once that's done, you just toss the chicken back in, put it in the over for a bit, make the pasta while you're at it, and then throw it all together and serve! Sounds like a lot, but there's basically no prep (which is a prerequisite in my life).

This is from the Pioneer Woman Blog. She's my absolute favorite blogger/food photographer. Honestly, doesn't that just look like a cozy, comfort food waiting to be made and passed down again and again? It does.

4. Banana Bread from the blog, Food Loves Writing. Shanalee (love that name, by the way) is a phenomenal, talented writer with a knack for making people think about what they're doing and making on a daily basis. She's had a lot of posts that really really resonate with me, and she's also from Chicago! It's so nice to read about things happening in the city I've come to love as my own, despite the fact that I'm a transplant. Anyways, I'll be the first person to say, shout and proclaim that I mother-effing hate bananas. Hate them. They're mushy an gross and they remind me of baby food. I didn't even eat real baby food when I was a baby (I tossed it on the dog), so why would I eat it now? No thanks. However, I do love banana bread. I like the nutty flavor, the slight hint of banana smell without the banana texture. Fantastic. My brother makes the best banana bread in the world, but I'm willing to bet I can one-up him with this recipe. Maybe.

This recipe actually really stuck out to me because Shanalee says she hates 'naners too. But she made this. And she explained that after being sick (because you're supposed to eat bananas in the third stage or so of coming off being sick), bananas are a staple, and are heaven-sent after crackers, dry toast and chicken noodle soup.

Super easy (banana bread always is), and delicious plain or with a little apple butter spread on top.

Food Loves Writing. Isn't this simply...fantastic? I'm so excited to start making this stuff. Totally going to bury my brother's banana bread. And hey, if I don't, then we still eat really good banana bread. So...win-win.

Anyway's that's really the bulk of the post.

Oh, fun fact. I wrote a terrorist speech today for one of my classes (if anyone reading this is an IU student, you should take the COLL-103 topics course taught by Professor Doctor Fritz Breithaupt; literally one of the most entertaining, interesting classes I've ever ever taken in my entire life. He wears knickerboxers sometimes.), and we had to pick a topic to really rail on in a style similar to the Unabomber Manifesto. Don't read that, by the way. The guy is afraid of technology. He's crazy, but his writing is brilliantly done. Insane, but a little bit brilliant. He also murdered people. So...grain of salt. In this case...pounds of salt...from the Dead Sea. Anyways, I wrote mine about censorship, and surprisingly enough got way into it and basically trashed the people who ban books. It was entertaining.

The point of that little babble is that you should never ever never underestimate the power of a pen and paper. Yes, I do all my writing in pen before I type it out, just because it feels more connected that way, and I catch more of my stupid grammatical errors. Not all of them, but most. Writing that drabble today really helped me relax and decompress after a very stressful day (floor drama, life drama, I lost my ID like 4 times within two week), and I'm going to go to bed (very late) very calmly.

And that's why you should procrastinate on papers until the very last second. Because it de-stresses you.

Stop laughing. Go to bed.

GOODNIGHT!

Love, Miss Guided.

Food Blogs and Why I've been a Lazy Jerk

I am soooo sorry that I haven't updated in so long! Not that the three of you reading this really care (Hi, Mom! She's finally reading this, btw. Sort of.).

Anyways, the reason behind my departure? Pure insanity; I've been busy busy busy for the past three weeks or so, and it's only going to get busier with finals coming up. I study basically every free hour I get, and I've been working on projects, papers and presentations like it's my job. Which it basically is. Anyways, I've also been busy with--now don't get angry--Tumblr.

I know, it's like I'm a traitor almost, but I digress. Tumblr is fantastic, easy, and I am going to try and link this and that up so that they post for each other. We'll see if this results in annoying double-posting, or just plain awesomeness. I'm praying for the latter.

Anyways, I've been posting different things there than I would here, so I think the Tumblr will be sort of like a personal/public journal, while this I think will be more like a blog. Like how it's supposed to be...yeah.

Question of the Day:

Why don't people date anymore?

Honestly, why not? Why can't I have a nice guy I meet ask for my number (while SOBER, and not at a party), then follow through. Follow through, as in we go out to dinner and a movie, have good conversation, and then go to our RESPECTIVE homes and then do it again and again until we feel that it either is or is not going anywhere productive. Share a few physical moments (totally fine, but nothing too much), and get to know each other in every way. Why is this so taboo now? Why do my friends look at me like I'm insane when I say I'm not going to put out on a first date, or even the second date? What is so difficult about not hooking up, about not sleeping with someone randomly and just because "oh hey, you're drunk and mildly attractive/intelligent/whatever your dealmaker is so why not?" (that's rape, that's why not)
Seriously though, why the hell can't people "see each other" with a moderate to small level of commitment and no stress?

Seriously, I've had it up to here (I'm indicating my eyebrows, by the way) with people who either just want to jump head first into a relationship after ONE date, and the people who are just in it for the sex. Honestly, you're not getting it from me, so there's really no point in trying. I'm happily waiting until whenever I feel ready, comfortable and, most importantly, I'm waiting until I love and TRUST the person I'm with. That doesn't mean I'm waiting until marriage or engagement or whatever, it means I'm waiting until it makes sense.

I don't get it. I just don't understand. Help me out!

In other news, I failed a test today. That was super fun. I have to memorize a five minute Hebrew presentation (I can't memorize presentations in English. WHAT are they thinking?!)

However, I went for a run yesterday with Beth (and am consequently sore beyond belief today; it feels like my thighs are desperately trying crush my bones they're so tense), and I've been eating healthier and less. My mother has a few sayings about food that I've taken to heart.

"If you're not hungry enough for an apple, you're not hungry enough."

and

"The best thing to eat, is less."

Now, I know this sounds like pro-anorexia propaganda (I'll give you my story on that subject in the next post, possibly), but it really is true if you take it in moderation. Wait 5 minutes after you've begun eating half you meal before you start the second half. It'll give you time to decide if you're full or not. Also, put your fork/food/spork/spoon down in between bites; I know we're all rushed (especially with the last few weeks of the semester looming) but it's important to take your time.

I'm not actually feeling like talking about this right now.

Maybe later.

Anyways, to counter that, here are my discoveries from the Food Blogs I frequent.

Food Loves Writing

This site has a lot of super healthy options, and some really amazing writing. I love to write (DUH, Miss G, way to be moronically obvious), and I really appreciate good writing. I also appreciate good recipes for good food that are realistic for the average (poor/strapped for time) person.
Loved this recipe for Hasselback Potatoes.

The Pioneer Woman

This woman is fantastic. This woman is phenomenal. This woman is self-made, determined, self-actualized and fantastically wonderfully grounded and intelligent. This woman also has a (hot) rancher for a husband, so I basically want to have her life. Ree Drummond talks about her life on a cattle ranch, but she's no home-raised country girl; she was a city dweller in another life, wearing black heels to work and...well why don't you just go to her "About Me" section. That'll explain my fascination with her.

My favorite recipe? The Cajun Chicken Pasta; my younger brother is a spice fanatic (he literally puts tobasco on EVERYTHING, little booger), and I'm pretty sure if I made this at home one of two things would happen.
Either my brother would go into happy, joyful conniptions of someone finally understanding his need for fatal amounts of spice, or my father would just have a blood-pressure/spice inducedheart attack after walking into the kitchen. Either of those things may or may not occur because they'd both be eternally surprised that yours truly was happy in the kitchen making something that didn't include my favorite ingredients of chocolate and/or cake mix from a box.
So.

Courtesy of Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman, and the maker of a fantastic wonderful food blog that makes me want to marry a rancher while simultaneously coming up with fantastic wonderful recipes and popping out adorable children. I almost wrote "chicken" instead of children, but I feel like she might have appreciated that little slip.

Oh.
And they both have PRETTY pictures.

Good night!

Love,
Miss Guided