Miss Guided

2011-02-08T14:35:00.000-05:00

2011-02-08T14:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this is going to be one of those short posts.

Park.

When was the last time you got really excited to go to the part? Because I don't remember. Parks stopped being fun about the same time boys stopped having cooties. Which is obviously never, but people pretended one happened, so why not the other?

Anyways, I just want to have one of those moments again. Where I'm sitting on the swings, laughing and giggling and snorting (because when I'm really really laughing, genuinely in hysterics, little pig-snorts will sneak out and I'll sound like a congested hyena), and there's nothing on my mind.

I want that again, please.

On another note, here is my to-do list. Its in red because red is my least favorite color, and I really hate homework.

so.

P202: Ch. 4 and 5

P300: Reaction Paper 2, Project 2, Read Child Molester Paper29-42, Read Textbook p66-79, Ch 4

H250: Translate Script for Thursday, Article due Feb 14th, Regular HW due Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Bulbalim due Sunday at Midnight

P324: Review Ch 1-3 for test NEXT MONDAY

P100: Practice Saints Go Marching for Monday-->Hearing Tuesday

P199: Self Assessment due Tuesday, Resume due 2/22 (talk to Jan VD about looking over it?)

P401: IMAGE project due Feb 22, Annotated Bibliography due Feb 15th

Aren't to-do lists weird?! I write the funniest things.

Child Molester Paper? You're probably thinking its a how-to guide, but thats gross, and also not true. Its actually an interesting discussion of the definition of what certain terms are that fall under that heading.

Now that I've thoroughly disgusted you with my major...

This last one reminds me of a few things. Someone I know from camp--who is a very special, talented and insightful friend--attempted to show me how to sail this summer. It was a short, happy experience for me, and its one of the memories I hold most dear. Every day, I wish for the calm, the content and the carefree feelings I had on the lake that afternoon. Every day, I try to channel those feelings into my heart as best as I can.

Every day, I also try to drink as much caffeine as is (or is not) healthy.

2011-02-07T23:45:00.000-05:00

Despite the fact that ballet dancers are very susceptible to falling into eating disorders, having bone problems, muscle problems and all sorts of nasty-foot-related-disease-mutant-things...

...they can do really cool shit and take really pretty pictures all the time.

Also. I would KILL to be able to do the splits. Or touch the ground without bending my knees. Or...like do that kicky thing where they hold their foot in their air, thigh next to the ear and everything.

On the other hand, sleezy guys might only rely on the flexibility pick up lines; I'm not athletic or any of that, so the pick up lines they give me are usually more creative than lewd or suggestive.

so. bendy-body, creative pick up lines.

which do you want?

Also, yes I saw the Black Swan, yes it freaked the fuck out of me.

No I am not a ballerina (HA), but yes it would be fucking epic to be one. Just not a self-destructive one like Natalie Portman's character, and not a fucking psychopathic one like Mila Kunis'.

A Sad State of Affairs

2011-02-07T23:28:00.001-05:00

That's what this blog is right now.

Here are things that I want to happen on this blog over the next month/week/unforeseeable future.

1. Actual posts; things that happen to me that are funny, embarrassing, interesting or that provoke insightful thoughts and make me feel like I should share things with the internet. 

2. A photo-blog. One thing I've learned from this love affair with tumblr is that pictures (and captions because I'm a writer, therefore I like to see the babbly-gook in my head on the screen being transmitted to you unwitting picture-seers and word-haters), are a great way to make people read without actually reading. And its also a great way to make a point. And see pretty things that I like. 

3. Videos and music. Because I like both of these things, and because I said so, that's why.

4. Short posts. Because no one likes to read my mini-epics.

On that note, I'm going to give you a mini-story about my life right now. Here goes:

so this is what a double hitter is.

It was a decent pitch, straight but a little weak; it wasn’t going fast enough. smack the ball just past shortstop and second, into the infield but between the players. The ball is just close enough to one player that he can run and pick it up and throw it in about an 8 second sequence. You sprint from home to first, pulse there for half a second, then make a mad sprint for second and just barely slide through to safe.

That’s what it feels like when your doctor says your common cold from last week has turned into a bad sinus infection and a little bit of bronchitis in your left lung.

My diseases have decided to go around the diamond in my body, and are all “haha, fuck you we’re winning.”

I think the Mucinex on home, the Amoxicillin on third and the copious amounts of Tylenol in the field beg to differ.

So there. Strike out already, I need to go to class.

Also, fuck the superbowl, lets get to baseball season already.

This text is green because it symbolizes most of what I am made of right now. Which is phlegm.

You really wanted to know that, Internet, I know you did.

Thank you.

Also, I've been off of caffeine because of said diseases, and have headaches because of it. :( I want my morning (and afternoon...and evening) mojo back!

This text is brown....

Because I miss coffee and coffee is brown.

Oh come on. I'm not that gross.

Its not stalking, its people-watching!

2010-05-24T21:00:00.001-04:00

I really like to people-watch.
It's not stalking, I swear. It's people-watching. Like bird-watching, but more interesting because you're looking at things that have the same number of chromosomes as you, and you're sitting there wondering if you do things like they do.
There are lots of places to people-watch and be a general creeper, but there are a few really specific places that I love to go because it means I can sit behind my laptop, write (or pretend to write as it usually ends up), and then just watch people come and go and look at all the different types of faces and hear all the voices and just soak up social interaction without actually having to be social. We all do that, it's just that I think I do it more often than most people. I love to see how others interact, how couples kind of fall into place next to each other if they're in love or how they physically separate themselves if they're not (anymore).
Also, it makes it very easy to witness awesome things that you normally wouldn't if you weren't watching closely. I saw a guy donate a sandwich from Jimmy Johns to a homeless guy once, then sit down to eat lunch with him and talk; that kind of stuff makes me very happy.
I once saw an old couple feed each other a bite of granola each, then the old man kissed her cheek. It was precious.
I also regularly witness people picking their noses. But that comes with the territory.

So, I'm giving you (all two of you who actually read this) my favorite places to (creep) people-watch.

Top 5 List of Best places to People-Watch:

1. Airport
Everyone (except for the truly phobic and not-fit-for-public folks) flies at some point in their lives if you're living in modern America. There is no easier way to get to far out places and to be honest, I think people get really excited--no matter how old they are--about getting on planes. There's something awesome about it that no one can explain, but we do it anyways.
Anyways, the airport is freaking awesome just for the reason that everyone goes. Yeah, you've got your boring suits and the regular airpot security people basically dominating the place, but in between are some wacky folks. And--if your luck is anything like mine--you'll probably end up sitting next to one of the more interesting ones who have done something spectacular that they are on their way home from. You learn a lot about people when they're stressed out (and who isn't stressed out these days about getting through security?) and it's fun to see the different ways people dress and act when they're being watched by hawks who are ready to tackle them to the ground for just about any reason. Then again...sometimes they do have reason to be a little suspicious of folks who do this.

2. Library
I am positive that I am not the only weirdo who creeps on people in the library. When those around you are entirely engrossed in whatever they're procrastinating their homework on, it's really easy to just space out and watch them. Or, if you're in the computer clusters/labs, you can sometimes see what people are Googling or looking at and you learn something about them. Like the guy who I sat next to in my criminal research class? He had no clue how to use the research databases we were supposed to be searching for journal articles, so instead, he went onto his fantasy football thing and started cursing under his breath about something.
Or, what I always like to see, is when people are on websites that "mature college kids" shouldn't generally frequent. Like neopets. Or barbie.com. Because I've seen it, and it's a little funny, a little sad, and a lot telling.
No one should let go of their childhoods!
Also, people have a tendency to forget themselves when they're really into what they're studying, so they start doing weird shit that they normally wouldn't while in public.

No, I've never seen this in real life, but someone probably has.

3. Mall

This is obvious. Teeny boppers are stupid, insipid little creatures who sometimes have less personality than infants BUT they're fucking hilarious to watch while in packs. They group together like a big amoeba made of Hollister and too much eyeliner and giggle and shriek at whatever comes their way.

Old folks are also fun to watch in malls; they have absolutely no clue what to do with the cacophony and are totally befuddled by the masses of people. They scuttle from shop to shop, armed with oversized bags that they use as pseudo-shields. If one of the vendors says something to them, they freak; hold up their bags, shake their heads "no" over-emphatically, and scurry toward wherever it is they're going, eyes wide and buggy behind their massively thick glasses.
And around Valentine's Day and the winter holidays, you see men more often looking really, pathetically confused in jewelry stores as too-peppy, perky-scary-happy saleswomen try to push them toward stuff they really really shouldn't be buying.
Here's a bit of advice on that subject, boys: If it scares you to look at the ring display and you cringe when your girlfriend drops meteor-sized hints about possibly-maybe-starting to think about "it," then either walk away from the store and go get her a book or something personal but not commitment-defining, or re-evaluate your relationship.
Don't buy it if you're not ready, and for G-d's sake don't be bullied into buying it!

4. Coffee Houses
My mom bought me the little bingo-cards you see below. It's called cafe bingo and it was made for someone like me (read: a creeper) so that me and my creeper friends (read: taylor and beth) can be creepers with a purpose.
Anyways, coffee houses are great because there are people studying (so the library thing), people talking to each other and interacting(so the mall thing), and you have the crazies (because everyone likes coffee or tea, just like how almost everyone uses the airport, no matter how weird they are). Its like a big old jumble of insanity and I love it.
Also, I love coffee. A lot. Taylor and I went today and there were people playing "Magic: The Gathering." 'Nuff said.

5. Bookstores
Ok yes lets get over the fact that I'm a bookworm and a nerd/geek/freak whatever. Ok yes I like to read. A lot. And yes, I also enjoy going to bookstores and just looking at the cover art because that shit is fucking gorgeous. I want to do cover art someday, but doubtful that I'll ever be able to unless I write my own book. Which is also obscenely doubtful since I can barely update this with any regularity.

Getting over all that, bookstores are great because of the people who frequent them. There are obnoxious hipsters, yeah (if I see one more male wearing jorts, a lumberjack beard and/or those glasses, I'm gonna scream), but there are also some really really interesting types. The littler, older bookstores are the best because you usually get into the most fascinating conversations with the owners if you ask the right questions(who are by trade just amazingly interesting) and you learn about random things. Bookstores are more for conversational people-watching, which is why they're at the end of the list, but they're good if you feel like being social with people who you're not always social with.

My basic point is this:
G-d is great, Modern transportation is good, books are better, and people are fucking nuts.

Love,
Miss G.

Things That Make Me Cry.

2010-05-02T00:53:00.006-04:00

Normal nights when we aren't being idiots. The pretty one on the left is Beth. The idiot with the awkward shiny spot (on the right) is me.

As it is, I'm the type of girl who cries when it's not appropriate. I don't cry at funerals unless I have to say something, I rarely cry if something awful happens to me or my family, but I will cry at the mere thought of something horrible happening to someone I love. I imagine these horrible terrible scenarios where I lose someone I'm close to, or I'm the one who's lost and I forgot to say something important to someone important...really the list goes on. The things I think of right before I fall asleep are anything but pleasant, so it's really not a wonder that it takes me hours to really get to sleep. I cry in private or with those I trust if it's really something that I shouldn't be alone to deal with. Had a bit of experience with the whole "needing someone to make sure I don't make good on sarcastic (and totally not serious, by the way) comments about flinging myself off the nearest building above six stories tall," so I've finally grasped the importance behind having someone there. Even if I don't want people to see me all red-eyed and teary and goobery.

Anyways, Beth and I were recently sitting in our floor lounge one night, and then somehow we got on the subject of crying and I realized that I hadn't cried since I found out about my Uncle dying. Really, that's quite a long time for me (November), so jump a few minutes in the conversation and we're reading this pathetically sad website, and I'm bawling. Then Beth gets this idea to listen to sad songs, and about 20 minutes after that, she's a mess and I'm barely holding it together.
That's literally how we spent our night. Talking about sad stuff and then crying about said sadness, then laughing hysterically at ourselves for being so pathetic, and then we decided to just roll with it.
So we cried. For about 3 hours, sitting in the lounge, listening to sad songs.

Feel free.

And you know what? It felt damn good right afterward. I liked the feeling of just bawling my eyes out for a certain amount of time, and it was just...cathartic. That's the word, cathartic.
Like I was letting just a whole five month's worth of frustration and little bits of "sad" out in one big rush.
I felt soooo much better the next day, thank goodness. I literally woke up smiling for some reason.
Then I hit my head on Grace's bed, so I stopped smiling.

Anyways, this post is kind of going to be a little bit more of that cathartic-ness. I like things that make me cry, but only when I feel like actually doing that crying. If you're looking to bawl your eyes out, check those songs out and really really listen to the lyrics. If you're really looking to cry, read the first 6 chapters of Jane Eyre (my favorite book in the whole wide world) and just wallow in deep-set hatred of Victorian well-to-do families.
Then read Mansfield Park, and wonder if Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte were best friends. Because I'm basically positive that they were, logic be damned.

Without further babbling, here's a list of things that make me cry.

5. Leaving. Anything.
Even if I'm super happy to be doing the leaving, I'm still going to cry a little bit. Probably. Because in some way, wherever I end up changes me. The places I go and the people I meet always always always have some sort of an effect on me. I'm like a sponge; I take everything I can from the people/places I meet/live, and I just absorb it into my system for as long as I can. I don't give much (which is bad), but I take and take and take from the people I meet, and then I try and wring myself out on someone else, so they can benefit at least a fraction of how much as I did.

4. GivesMeHope.Com and MakesMeThink.Com
Really?! Really, someone had to make these websites just for the sole purpose of sickos like me who like to read inspirational/tragic/happy stories that literally bring tears to your eyes (if you're not an ogre). Beth and I timed it; it took me 3 pages to start crying, but it took her 4. Then we listened to this Christmas song that she really likes and that was just the end of that.

3. Sad (Country) Songs
Who I Am- Jessica Andrews
Letter to Me- Brad Paisley
100 Years- The Fray
Where Are You Christmas- Faith Hill (Beth's Special)
In the Arms of the Angels- Sarah McLachlan
I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan
Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
Graduation Song -Vitamin C
Cat's in the Cradle- Henry Chapin
Mad World- Gary Jules
Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova- Oasis
You and Me- Lifehouse (don't ask.)
Hanging by a Moment- (also Lifehouse?)

I told you I'm not an appropriate-time cry-er. Who the fuck starts bawling when Brad Paisley comes on the radio?!

Any of these songs will make me cry. This one time, Adam sang me 100 Years; I didn't cry, I laughed because believe it or not this kid hit the high notes. But otherwise it makes me cry. Some of these I have special memories attached to. The Oasis songs are from Israel; I have special memories of beautiful people singing these songs every chance they got. They sang one of them on the last day as we were all getting on planes back to New York, then home. I didn't stop crying for about two hours after that.
Mad World just makes me think of sad children. I don't know why, but I hate it when children are sad, because then they cry and I want to cry with them. When a child is truly sad--not because his or her favorite toy broke, but truly, deeply sad--the world feels like it stops a little for me. In my head, until you know how babies are made, you are still a baby and therefore should never be forced to experience true, digging sadness. The kind that sticks to your ribs around your heart should only be reserved for those of us who understand that life really isn't sunshine, rainbows and (beer) cupcakes.

2. Very Talented Children
Swear to g-d, I started crying out of sheer astonishment this one time I was watching a youtube video (with Beth) of a kid who had such a beautiful voice. I think it was that Britain's Got Talent show with the little guy who belted the Michael Jackson song. I cried. Long and hard. (that's what sheeee said.)

Go on, don't cry, I dare you.

1. Re-reading old letters that I've never sent. I have like six of them that I've written to one person since I was 14. Almost every major life event, I've written him/her a letter. I hate having things unsaid, so maybe, just maybe I'll end up telling him/her what I've been holding in for so long.
By the way, I've literally read and re-read these letters (and subsequently cried on each of them) enough times that the letters are smudged from my fingerprints and other stuff. The more recent letters are usually covered in coffee.

Oh, here's what else I don't like, but less serious and more me.
1. bad coffee.
2. ugly pictures of me (not really crying as much as cringing and untagging from facebook)
3. packing. I hate packing.
4. knowing that you have to pee, but not wanting to get up just then, but still knowing you have to get up eventually. I hate that, I have no idea why.
5. cucumbers. I can't stand them, but I love pickles.

I was recently teased by a certain wanna-be cop for putting "Love, Miss Guided" at the end of a post, so believe it or not I actually considered not putting it on this time. Then I realized I really do not enjoy being around said wanna-be cop (probably for the reason that he's a verbally abusive little bitch), and I really don't give a flying rat's ass what he thinks. :)

So.

LOVE (Love love love, because fuck you.)
Miss Guided.

How to be Embarrassed Gracefully...Sort of...

2010-04-27T11:14:00.009-04:00

Welcome to my life.

Ok, so this post is going to be like an extended Embarrassing Moment for me and for those who I know (without names or pointed fingers, besides the experiences that are my own), because I think a really really important skill that everyone should have is to know how to deal with being embarrassed. Recently, my underwear was hanging out of my pants. Super classy, I know, but hey it happens sometimes when the only things I have that are clean are a really really tiny thong and my fat-jeans (even when I'm having a skinny-day). So, the strings are visible and I haven't got a clue because I'm just concentrating on making sure that my pants are around my hips and not my ankles.

Cue "A Good Friend" (you know who you are, because I'm forcing you to read this), who tells me clandestinely that, hey your underwear is hanging out and you sort of look like a skanky idiot (obviously he/she didn't say the last part, because that would be mean and he/she is everything but mean). I believe I dealt with it rather gracefully because a) I didn't turn beet-red and have a panic-attack, b)I laughed it off, assured him/her not to be worried and that I was indeed thankful for his/her diligence in Making-Sure-I-Don't-Look-Like-A-Moron (caps because it happens on a regular basis and someone's gotta make sure that I can function semi-normally in society) and c)I dealt with it and moved on. I didn't turn it into an awkward silence, I didn't make a bit spectacle out of pulling up my pants and trying to save face (not that I really could), and I didn't start crying and run into the bathroom to sob my sorrows and awkwardness away.
Because I know that it could have been worse, and it wasn't.

It could totally have been worse.

So. Embarrassing story of the week over with, here's the reason behind my rambling.

Here's a universal truth; no matter how cool, beautiful or talented/wonderful/fantastic you are, you are going to embarrass yourself and those around you at one point or another. It's just going to happen, there's nothing you can do about the fact that it will, so you might as well learn how to deal with it when it does. Those of you who don't will be doomed to be forever ungraceful and ungrateful when an embarrassing moment comes along (yes, you should be grateful, I'll explain why in a bit).

So, in order to save the planet from a bunch of bumbling goobers who blush tomato-red whenever they trip on a branch or stutter just a bit in class, I've compiled a little list (surprise, Miss Guided the Queen of Lists and Lessons She's Learned from Living Life like one of those Goobers) of how to deal with those embarrassing moments.

Dude, I totally get you. It's ok, it'll be over soon.

1. The Immediate Recovery
So, you've tripped on your way out of the bar (not that I know anyone who's eaten shit while stumbling drunk somewhere out the door, oh no sir, right, T?), and now your ass is in the air and you're struggling to get up without making an even bigger fool of yourself than you already have. Fun fact, you can turn this embarrassing moment into a good one by doing one little thing.
Laugh.
Seriously, those people who say that laughter is the best medicine are the ones who succeed in life because they don't let the little things get them down. They might have that initial min-heart attack because no one likes to trip in public (or in private, but that's another story), and it's human nature to judge oneself and others, but laughing in the face of adversary is one of the best things to do.
If someone is out to embarrass you, for example by posting something nasty on your Facebook wall or shooting out snippy nit-pick comment after a speech you've prepped for hours for about how you didn't pronounce "epitome" right (ep-eh-toh-mie, not "eh-pi-toh-muh," you stupid ninny), the best revenge is amusement. If they think it didn't affect you, it burns a little because now they're embarrassed for themselves and their petty, low-grade behavior.
Also, if a trashy frat-guy grabs your butt while you're attempting to un-eat shit after tripping, laugh it off still, and attempt to get your drunken self out the door and as far away from Douchey McDoucher as possible.

I really don't know how you're going to save yourself after this. Really, I don't.

2. Backpedaling is a No-No; Save Face and Move Forward
I don't care how embarrassed you get, I don't care what stupid thing you said, did or implied, whatever you do, do NOT backpedal or try to say "that's not what I meant."
I don't care if that's what you meant, move forward, explain if someone has been offended, but whatever you do, don't stutter around an excuse for something you did if, at the time, there was nothing to be done about it.
Now, I'm not saying that if you offend someone and didn't realize what you were saying was going to be offensive, not to apologize; because if that's the case, you should definitely apologize, explaining that you're very very sorry that you offended them and that you'll be more careful in the future. If you say something stupid about yourself, for example like a Freudian slip or pronounce something wrong--can you tell this has scarred me? ok, so for those of you who went to high school with me, you'll know who I'm talking about when I say I had an English teacher in my Sophomore years honors class who's hips don't lie; the kid in my class who called me out had a tendency to kick the back of whoever's desk and to be a general know-it-all suck up while still being the most obnoxious person in the room. Added bonus was that you couldn't tell him to STFU because he had a "problem." Yeah, well I have problems too, and one of them was him!--whew, ok so if you pronounce something wrong, a good plan would be to just say, "Haha, whoops, I meant blah blah blah" and say nothing more about it.

Also, I've learned that thanking the dick who calls you out on something stupid overtly enthusiastically makes them feel like more of douche, and gets giggles from everyone else because chances are if he/she is embarrassing you, he/she has embarrassed others and they all want revenge too.

You know that really awful dream where you forget your pants to go to school? Yeah, about that...

Anyways.

3. Be Grateful and Graceful by Staying CALM.
Seriously, this is the last and most important step and if you forget to do it, your life will end up in shambles of embarrassment for both you and those who love you. So, no pressure, but seriously chill the fuck out.
If you stay calm, if you have a little giggle, get up, brush it off and keep going without forgetting to breathe, nothing bad will happen to you. Yes, you've been embarrassed (congrats, I do it like 3o times a day and I'm still alive), but you can pick up and move on as long as you force yourself to move on. I don't mean to forget it, because we can all learn from our mistakes, but you do need to make sure that you don't let it overwhelm you right then.
Later on, feel free to burst into tears (not suggested, because it'll stress you out more, but still if you need to, go right ahead), but right there in the moment, take a deep breath and just keep doing what you're doing. Others will forget if you just acknowledge it and move on, because there will be nothing much to make fun of; you recovered, you laughed at yourself showing how not-into-yourself you are, and you moved on. Sure, they may rib you, but don't let it bug you; wait about a week and something will happen to one of them and you can do the same (nicely, because you're a nice person, right?).
Also, be grateful it wasn't something worse. Just imagine a worst case scenario, realize that it probably didn't and won't happen to you, and be thankful.

I recently had a terribly embarrassing experience in front of a class. Since my Hips-Don't-Lie teacher from high school scarred me so much when it comes to public speaking, I have a habit of forgetting to breathe whenever I have to give a speech. Beyond embarrassing, let me tell you. However I know that it will, almost inevitably, happen every time I give a speech, so I've developed a strategy for coping.
First, I get through the beginning of whatever I need to do. I try to remember to breathe initially but it's usually useless to even attempt it because I'll just end up hyperventilating instead. After the initial shock wears off, and there is a natural break in the speech, I suck in a big, loud breath of air.

Ok, this is weird because it's embarrassing, I know it, and I do it anyways, but it's my system and I've learned to cope this way, so shut up and keep reading.

After my big breath of life, people usually start to snicker, and go into step two of how Miss-G-Makes-Life-Entertaining-For-Everyone-Else, by cracking some sort of joke I've cracked 100 million times about forgetting to breathe. Last time I forgot this, so I totally obliterated Step 1 of my little post-Guide, but stay with me and see why this was bad.
Since I didn't crack a joke, the snickers stayed and my friends started making faces at me. Soooo funny guys, really you're both hilarious. Stupid wanna-be cops think they're all comedians, when in reality they just like making fun of those of us who HAVE INGRAINED FEARS OF SPEAKING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. Jerks.

Anyways, so I forgot to joke, and I was more embarrassed. The rest of my group fumbled along in their parts of the presentation, and then it was back to me, I took a breath, mentally told myself to just get over it and move on. So I did.

I was a little breathy, a little gaspy but for the most part I got through my explanation, and I was even able to jump in and save one of my group members at the end of her slide. I was proud, because I was saving face.

The last step? I totally forgot about it, and was embarrassed again after class. My "friends," the two wanna-be cops from earlier, immediately started teasing me because of my whole not-breathing episode. I hit one of them with an umbrella multiple times (not hard, just enough to get the point across), rose to the bait, and felt more embarrassed, but by the time we got outside I was calmer, and much more level headed. Sort of. I whacked him again just for shits and giggles.

I calmed down though, explained that I was happy it was over, and moved on in the end. I only freaked out for real later when I was alone, but I'm taking care of it and (fingers crossed) I don't think my grade will suffer because of my stage fright.

At least this didn't happen. Gosh I'd be so upset if another girl wore the same dress as me to Walmart.

Moral of the Story? Do as I say, not as I do, and learn from MY mistakes.

Love,
Miss Guided

disney, to this.

2010-04-18T01:48:00.004-04:00

I will be the first to admit to having a Disney obsession. I grew up in that decade, the 90s where every girl learned to have these absolutely fantastic dreams of being discovered as the crown princess of somewhere.

She'd go on a journey to some place, learning along the way how to behave and be like a princess, while her "true" self was being a little bit suffocated. She'd invariably meet her "Prince"--more often than not, he was a pauper who went on this whole self-depreciating rant when she eventually was recognized as a princess--and they'd fall in love.

They'd have great chemistry (we're not talking about the Little Mermaid here, which was way too dysfunctional for words; we're talking about something along the lines of Anastasia or Pocahontas), and have banter back and forth (sometimes). They'd get over their fighting, see that it was love, and happily ever after ensued after the bad guy was defeated.

At the end, she'd find out that her "true self" was the most important thing, and she'd still be the confident, quirky girl the movie started out with, just a little more mature/pretty/whatever.

What the hell.

This doesn't happen in real life, but honestly, would you want it to? Do you want your life to be turned upside-down because someone somewhere claims that you're royalty? I don't. Royalty means responsibility beyond the thousands of things I already have to worry about. Royalty means being under a microscope, under a constant watchful eye, at least according to Disney.

According to Disney, princesses are locked up inside towers, only let out when they decide that they're ready to find "true love." True love? Really, with the divorce rate today, true love seems to be a little bit far fetched.

At the same time, I'm a 90s girl, and that entails this weird quirk where I'm absolutely mesmerized by each and every single one of the stories, and the nights after I watch them, I'm left lying in bed (for longer than usual, it takes me forever to fall asleep) thinking about the impossibility of it all. I get a little frustrated sometimes, and I'm tossing and turning and thinking Well, what the hell? It could happen, right?

No, it actually couldn't.

Which is the point of this stupid rant. No matter how much you love the Disney stories, they will never happen in real life because you wished "once upon a December." Never, so there's no point in wishing for them.

Stop wishing, and start doing.

Do things you love, do things you want to do, do things you've always-forever wanted to do but never in a thousand of your most imaginative daydreams could you have thought you could do. Do them, because someone somewhere (I'll bet anything) told you you probably couldn't. Do them, because someone somewhere is thinking the same exact thing as you. Funny thing, you'll probably fall in love, while doing what you love. When you're happy, other people see that, making you infinitely more attractive; when you're happy, people want to be around you. Be happy, fall in love.

I don't believe in true love. I don't believe some Prince Charming will one day sweep me off my feet.

I believe in loving what I do, and loving who I'm with, when I'm with them. I live in the moment, for the moment, and its gotten me into trouble more times than I can count, but I'm happier than I've ever been today, because it's today and not yesterday.

It's today, and not yesterday, and not tomorrow; I don't worry when I'm happy, because I'm not thinking about what if and maybe and what did that mean?!

I love that feeling; I'm addicted to it, to the adrenaline rush behind doing something that I want to do. I'm addicted to now, and to the people in my now.

Whats funny is that whenever I do what I want, when I want to do it regardless of the possible repercussions on the "beaten path" that I'm veering from at the time, is that I meet the most fantastic people.

I added a major because I have a fascination with "the bad guy." I want to be the one bagging them, the one stopping them before they do more things to hurt more people, whoever they are. I want to be the one who falls in love with what I do, who I'm with, and what I've become. I want to be alright with myself morally, and for me, that means going to the ends of the earth to make sure that the people and places that I love are safe. Isn't that weird? Whatever it takes, too, I'll do it.

Isn't it weird that I go from Disney, to this?

Anyways, I think the tie-in is that I want nothing more than to do what I love, come home to whoever I end up loving, or do love now, and to be happy with who and what I've become.

It's 2 AM, give me a break.

Love,
MissG.

gonna get through it.

2010-04-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

Promise.

Love,
Miss Guided

Why I Love Johnny Depp

2010-04-16T11:58:00.006-04:00

I will be the first to readily admit I know next to nothing about the theater arts.
Next to nothing, as in I know which movies I love openly, I know which ones I hate openly, and I know which ones I am ashamed about liking.

However, just because I know next to nothing about something (oh, hey like basically everything outside of why serial murderers do what they do? Don't ask.), does not mean that I don't have an opinion about it. Just the opposite actually.

I think all people do this, by the way. Have opinions about things they know nothing about, I mean. It's frustrating, yes, but boundless learning opportunities, don't you think?

Anyways, I know what I love. I love Johnny Depp.

Not Elijah Wood, Johnny Depp. This is fucking creepy.

Why, you ask? (Probably not really, because I'm basically talking to myself here)
Well, I'll tell "you." (I should be institutionalized; I'm talking to the "voices.")

Speaking of institutionalizing...

I love him because I've never seen him play the same person twice; even in his sequels, he adds dimension and personality to his characters so much so that they morph into almost entirely new people every time they come onto the screens. Not only is he a character actor, he is a phenomenal character actor who takes it upon himself to create a memorable personality that the audience doesn't fall in love or hate with.

Its important that the audience doesn't love or hate his characters completely, because no one in real life can be hated or loved completely and by everyone.

Life is not black and white, life is not good and bad; life and the people who are playing in it are both dynamic, changing entities that are constantly growing or evolving to respond as best as possible to the situation at hand. (Cue applause)

Yes, some of his characters end up being deranged serial killers with fairly violent methods, but in those movies he was the "pitied" character regardless. His back story and his reasonings are so tragic that the audience CAN'T hate him for what he's doing; they root for him a little, actually. (Which, by the way, is usually just good casting on the part of his director(s)--Tim Burton, anyone?--and screen writers, but still, they recognize a catch when they see it.) And I think this is unique to him because, despite the wide array of character actors out there who are all quite good (sans certain teenaged "vampires" [fairies]), is because of his uncanny ability to really make the character real. None of us are purely good or bad, and he brings that realism to the big screen by making sure that none of his characters are either. He brings realism, to the most surreal, fantastic stories; if that's not talent, I don't know what is.

I think the point of this little ode to Johnny is that he embodies everything I believe about life when he acts out as "his" characters. I related to Sweeny Todd, I related to Jack Sparrow, and I related (a little) to the Mad Hatter (shut up) because I am human, therefore deeply flawed, and very very confused about every little decision I have to make in life.

I recently have had to make a lot of very impulsive decisions, a lot of very difficult ones to make, and his characters kind of jumped out at me one night when I Stumbled on one of his fansites. It's interesting because he never plays the "good guy/bad guy" role; he's always in the middle, always realistic (despite the wacko plot lines), and he gives us a little look at how the rest of us are fucking along in life.

Because honestly, who really knows what we're doing? (rhetorial question)

I don't, and my hindsight isn't even 20/20 because my vision is actually -9.50/20. (ahahaha. Oh, Miss G, you're so hilarious and there's no way you've used that line before (HA). Oh, how clever!)

We're all make decisions at the drop of a hat (a mad one?), we're all trying to get along as best we can, and despite the fact that we usually fuck something or other up along the way, we're usually all in it with the best intentions.

Right? Right.

In other news, I fell down the stairs last week, and the bruise on my arm still has not faded. Fun part of that is that the bruise is weirdly shaped like a hand, so I've been asked like three times whether or not I'm being abused by someone.

Uh, no...but hey thanks for caring, I guess. Then I have to explain what happened for real, and I get dirty looks.

Also, I have super-fantastic good news that's basically going to SAVE MY BUTT for next year and will ensure that I can stay at IU for the next 3 years. Get pumped.
I can't tell anyone yet though, not until 5pm tonight. So. 5pm tonight, facebook will hold all the answers to my excitement.

Love,
Miss Guided

P.S. Bad news of the day: I have officially developed allergies to everything in the world.
Not really.
But I developed lactose intolerance this year, and then when spring hit apparently my body decided that I'm allergic to all that is pretty and blooming. So, I've been a sneezing, runny-nosed, coughing mess and it's totally not cute at all. I feel like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer when I blow my nose.
And we all know how much I love sneezing.
Super attractive, right?!

Yep. That basically sums it up.

Four Delicious Things I Want to Make

2010-04-16T00:49:00.003-04:00

1. Guinness Cupcakes: Do I need to explain this? These cupcakes look a little difficult to make, but at the same time...very simple idea. Simply mix the stout with a fairly traditional chocolate cupcake recipe, poke a hole in the top with a little holey-pokey thingy, fill to the brim, and bake. Also, the icing is made with Bailey's. My mother loves Bailey's. Loves. So, this may or may not be part of her Mother's Day present. Erring on the side of probably with a gigantic dose of definitely.

Photo credit; CHOW

2. The BIG GIGANTIC HUMONGOUS Salad of Delicious; I can't call it anything else, because honestly that's really all that it is. I will be honest, I am not a perfect girl, and I do not usually seek out salads to make and eat because they usually include things like copious amounts of NOT-delicious. I like steak. I like hamburgers. I am going to try to be a vegetarian this summer because I AM GOING TO CAMP. (Now, I love the fact that I'm going to camp [to be a counselor, you ninny; I'm young, I'm not a weirdo]. However, I'm going to err on the side of caution though and I'm going to avoid the camp meat. Camp and meat products have never boded well for me before.) Anyways, this salad combines all these wonderful flavors of tomatoes, avocado, feta, brown mushrooms (I'd sautee mine when I make this, just for extra flavor), shrimp (YUM), and get this...Miso. Miso is the stuff they make miso soup out of, silly (my mom calls it sock-soup, because it smells a little like socks; it's wonderful, just sock-ey). I'm going to attempt to pull this all together and figure out how to get that. Found this on the Guilty Kitchen!

Guilty Kitchen. Doesn't this look fantastic? I just want to eat the picture, that's all. I'll settle for anything.

3. A Chicken, Tomatoes and Garlic Easy Easy Lemon Peasy Dinner Dish: When I was home last, I complained about chicken catchetorri. Probably because I'm an ungrateful brat. Never again. This time, I will be the chicken-maker. And I will do it better. This recipe is from the Pioneer Woman (my favorite food/everything/lifestyle blog), and "oh-my-dear-Lord where does she come up with these things" recipe monger. It's a fairly lengthy amount of time to take for an "easy" dinner dish (especially in my family where we sometimes forget that no one's started dinner until around 7 or 8 when we're all wandering around the kitchen, pointing fingers and whining about being hungry), but it makes up for that by just being...easy! It's great. Salt and pepper some chicken pieces, cook 'em up in a pan with some butter and olive oil, then take them out, add some sherry, tomato chunks and tomato paste, stir and warm, add garlic, and basil. Once that's done, you just toss the chicken back in, put it in the over for a bit, make the pasta while you're at it, and then throw it all together and serve! Sounds like a lot, but there's basically no prep (which is a prerequisite in my life).

This is from the Pioneer Woman Blog. She's my absolute favorite blogger/food photographer. Honestly, doesn't that just look like a cozy, comfort food waiting to be made and passed down again and again? It does.

4. Banana Bread from the blog, Food Loves Writing. Shanalee (love that name, by the way) is a phenomenal, talented writer with a knack for making people think about what they're doing and making on a daily basis. She's had a lot of posts that really really resonate with me, and she's also from Chicago! It's so nice to read about things happening in the city I've come to love as my own, despite the fact that I'm a transplant. Anyways, I'll be the first person to say, shout and proclaim that I mother-effing hate bananas. Hate them. They're mushy an gross and they remind me of baby food. I didn't even eat real baby food when I was a baby (I tossed it on the dog), so why would I eat it now? No thanks. However, I do love banana bread. I like the nutty flavor, the slight hint of banana smell without the banana texture. Fantastic. My brother makes the best banana bread in the world, but I'm willing to bet I can one-up him with this recipe. Maybe.

This recipe actually really stuck out to me because Shanalee says she hates 'naners too. But she made this. And she explained that after being sick (because you're supposed to eat bananas in the third stage or so of coming off being sick), bananas are a staple, and are heaven-sent after crackers, dry toast and chicken noodle soup.

Super easy (banana bread always is), and delicious plain or with a little apple butter spread on top.

Food Loves Writing. Isn't this simply...fantastic? I'm so excited to start making this stuff. Totally going to bury my brother's banana bread. And hey, if I don't, then we still eat really good banana bread. So...win-win.

Anyway's that's really the bulk of the post.

Oh, fun fact. I wrote a terrorist speech today for one of my classes (if anyone reading this is an IU student, you should take the COLL-103 topics course taught by Professor Doctor Fritz Breithaupt; literally one of the most entertaining, interesting classes I've ever ever taken in my entire life. He wears knickerboxers sometimes.), and we had to pick a topic to really rail on in a style similar to the Unabomber Manifesto. Don't read that, by the way. The guy is afraid of technology. He's crazy, but his writing is brilliantly done. Insane, but a little bit brilliant. He also murdered people. So...grain of salt. In this case...pounds of salt...from the Dead Sea. Anyways, I wrote mine about censorship, and surprisingly enough got way into it and basically trashed the people who ban books. It was entertaining.

The point of that little babble is that you should never ever never underestimate the power of a pen and paper. Yes, I do all my writing in pen before I type it out, just because it feels more connected that way, and I catch more of my stupid grammatical errors. Not all of them, but most. Writing that drabble today really helped me relax and decompress after a very stressful day (floor drama, life drama, I lost my ID like 4 times within two week), and I'm going to go to bed (very late) very calmly.

And that's why you should procrastinate on papers until the very last second. Because it de-stresses you.

Stop laughing. Go to bed.

GOODNIGHT!

Love, Miss Guided.

Food Blogs and Why I've been a Lazy Jerk

2010-04-13T18:28:00.005-04:00

I am soooo sorry that I haven't updated in so long! Not that the three of you reading this really care (Hi, Mom! She's finally reading this, btw. Sort of.).

Anyways, the reason behind my departure? Pure insanity; I've been busy busy busy for the past three weeks or so, and it's only going to get busier with finals coming up. I study basically every free hour I get, and I've been working on projects, papers and presentations like it's my job. Which it basically is. Anyways, I've also been busy with--now don't get angry--Tumblr.

I know, it's like I'm a traitor almost, but I digress. Tumblr is fantastic, easy, and I am going to try and link this and that up so that they post for each other. We'll see if this results in annoying double-posting, or just plain awesomeness. I'm praying for the latter.

Anyways, I've been posting different things there than I would here, so I think the Tumblr will be sort of like a personal/public journal, while this I think will be more like a blog. Like how it's supposed to be...yeah.

Question of the Day:

Why don't people date anymore?

Honestly, why not? Why can't I have a nice guy I meet ask for my number (while SOBER, and not at a party), then follow through. Follow through, as in we go out to dinner and a movie, have good conversation, and then go to our RESPECTIVE homes and then do it again and again until we feel that it either is or is not going anywhere productive. Share a few physical moments (totally fine, but nothing too much), and get to know each other in every way. Why is this so taboo now? Why do my friends look at me like I'm insane when I say I'm not going to put out on a first date, or even the second date? What is so difficult about not hooking up, about not sleeping with someone randomly and just because "oh hey, you're drunk and mildly attractive/intelligent/whatever your dealmaker is so why not?" (that's rape, that's why not)
Seriously though, why the hell can't people "see each other" with a moderate to small level of commitment and no stress?

Seriously, I've had it up to here (I'm indicating my eyebrows, by the way) with people who either just want to jump head first into a relationship after ONE date, and the people who are just in it for the sex. Honestly, you're not getting it from me, so there's really no point in trying. I'm happily waiting until whenever I feel ready, comfortable and, most importantly, I'm waiting until I love and TRUST the person I'm with. That doesn't mean I'm waiting until marriage or engagement or whatever, it means I'm waiting until it makes sense.

I don't get it. I just don't understand. Help me out!

In other news, I failed a test today. That was super fun. I have to memorize a five minute Hebrew presentation (I can't memorize presentations in English. WHAT are they thinking?!)

However, I went for a run yesterday with Beth (and am consequently sore beyond belief today; it feels like my thighs are desperately trying crush my bones they're so tense), and I've been eating healthier and less. My mother has a few sayings about food that I've taken to heart.

"If you're not hungry enough for an apple, you're not hungry enough."

and

"The best thing to eat, is less."

Now, I know this sounds like pro-anorexia propaganda (I'll give you my story on that subject in the next post, possibly), but it really is true if you take it in moderation. Wait 5 minutes after you've begun eating half you meal before you start the second half. It'll give you time to decide if you're full or not. Also, put your fork/food/spork/spoon down in between bites; I know we're all rushed (especially with the last few weeks of the semester looming) but it's important to take your time.

I'm not actually feeling like talking about this right now.

Maybe later.

Anyways, to counter that, here are my discoveries from the Food Blogs I frequent.

Food Loves Writing

This site has a lot of super healthy options, and some really amazing writing. I love to write (DUH, Miss G, way to be moronically obvious), and I really appreciate good writing. I also appreciate good recipes for good food that are realistic for the average (poor/strapped for time) person.
Loved this recipe for Hasselback Potatoes.

The Pioneer Woman

This woman is fantastic. This woman is phenomenal. This woman is self-made, determined, self-actualized and fantastically wonderfully grounded and intelligent. This woman also has a (hot) rancher for a husband, so I basically want to have her life. Ree Drummond talks about her life on a cattle ranch, but she's no home-raised country girl; she was a city dweller in another life, wearing black heels to work and...well why don't you just go to her "About Me" section. That'll explain my fascination with her.

My favorite recipe? The Cajun Chicken Pasta; my younger brother is a spice fanatic (he literally puts tobasco on EVERYTHING, little booger), and I'm pretty sure if I made this at home one of two things would happen.
Either my brother would go into happy, joyful conniptions of someone finally understanding his need for fatal amounts of spice, or my father would just have a blood-pressure/spice inducedheart attack after walking into the kitchen. Either of those things may or may not occur because they'd both be eternally surprised that yours truly was happy in the kitchen making something that didn't include my favorite ingredients of chocolate and/or cake mix from a box.
So.

Courtesy of Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman, and the maker of a fantastic wonderful food blog that makes me want to marry a rancher while simultaneously coming up with fantastic wonderful recipes and popping out adorable children. I almost wrote "chicken" instead of children, but I feel like she might have appreciated that little slip.

Oh.
And they both have PRETTY pictures.

Good night!

Love,
Miss Guided

Feeling philosophical because its o'dark thirty in the morning.

2010-03-29T01:19:00.002-04:00

identity in progress

Originally uploaded by Фототека им. Зепа

That’s exactly what this is. I’m feel poignant and fantastic and it’s nearly one in the morning, so obviously the best option for me right now is to write. I don’t exactly know what I’m going to write about exactly, but I think that’s the best thing right now. I haven’t exactly known anything for a very long time now. When I first started not knowing exactly anything I thought it was frustrating. Now I think it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I’m thinking about exactly nothing in particular and I’m able to wander and wander and wander around in my head for something even a little significant.

I obviously haven’t yielded (“i” before “e” except after “c”) anything significant yet, but I think I will eventually. I think everyone has to yield something significant eventually, whether it be a recipe, a child, a thought, a book, a new way to raise teacup pigs or something else a little extraordinary. I think one day I’ll yield something significant, but I need to work on making me significant enough to get to that point. Does any of that make sense? Probably not.

I don’t really care that it doesn’t make any sense because this is me wandering and wandering and wandering around in my head. I’m trying to come to some sort of a conclusion because I absolutely can’t stand dead ends or cold trails, but it’s been 18 years in the making and I still haven’t come to any sort of a conclusion about anything. Maybe that’s a good thing though, because maybe an 18 year old shouldn’t be coming to any conclusions—that should be reserved for the Geriatric crowd—and I’m supposed to be wandering and wandering and wandering, but that still doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

I don’t know, I just don’t know anything any more. My name is Jaclyn, but people who’ve known me since forever call me Jaci (Jack-ie, not Jace-ey, not Jace, Jack-ie; like Jackie-O, but less glamorous), so I’m not even exactly sure of what I’m called. My grandfather even called me Mandy once or twice because my middle name is Amanda, but that doesn’t make much sense because I’ve never been called that by anyone else. So, I don’t know what I’m called.

I’m 18 and I’m in college, but really really really, should I be? I’m only 18 after all. A whole year younger than most of the people starting out this year, but why should that matter? I’m smarter/tougher/more fantastic than them, right? Wrong, probably. Maybe. Who knows? Not me, obviously. I don’t exactly know anything.

Now I’m just making up excuses because of course I should be in college. I shouldn’t be over there in Africa volunteering in a village to help small kids learn math or scrape a living. I shouldn’t even be thinking about enlisting in the Peace Corps because that would just be stupid and a waste of time, right? Wrong, probably. Maybe. I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up (right, when’s that exactly?), but at the same time I know exactly what I want to do right herenowforeverandever. It’s the only thing I exactly know, and I’ve been holding onto it for dear dear dear life since I was maybe ten years old, so please be gentle with it and don’t break it. Goals are sometimes the only things that are really ours and really original, because everything else has been done before. Not doing things, but wanting them is totally original to the individual, because no one else has wanted exactly what I want, when I want it.

I want to help people and I want people to love me and need me because I’m me and I’m doing something necessary for them. I want someone to love me so much they can’t keep it a secret, and I want to love someone so much that I literally would not be able to function without knowing they were in my life somehow. I’ve never felt that, and obviously that’s not going to happen any time soon, right? Maybe not, maybe yes, I don’t know because I don’t know anything exactly for sure except for exactly what I want.

One day, I’m going to know exactly everything about me. More about me than my mother thinks she knows, and more about me than my father says he knows, but probably not more about me than is possible to know because I can’t know what I’m going to want tomorrow. Wants and needs are the only things that drive people, and people drive the world. What if people wanted only good things for the person sitting to their left? Would the world spin the other way and would people start pulling their pockets for someone else?

Probably, maybe. I don’t know because I don’t know anything exactly for sure.

Say Nice Things

2010-03-18T00:06:00.004-04:00

You know what would be super great? I mean, something seriously fantastic that I would appreciate truly and sincerely?

I'd like people to say nice things to each other. Say nice things that you mean and that you want them to know, but are too afraid to actually say. I read this article in some Readers Digest somewhere about love letters. Now, I think love letters are wonderful, timeless things, but I'm talking about anything nice to say. Not necessarily in-love sorts of things to say, but a text from an old friend saying, "I'm thinking of you" or "I miss you" or "You are the most interesting person on my News Feed," or really anything kind and sweet and unprecedented is fantastic. Unexpected kindness has the same effect on most people--or just me if you're all ogres out there--as receiving an unexpected college-fund donation. You didn't ask for it, didn't even know it was a possibility but there it is, and it's left you with this warm, glowy tingle in your stomach that stays there for a few days (or, if you get the college fund donation probably a few years/forever).

I got bored the other day in the car and I wrote down every single memorably nice thing that anyone has ever sent/said to me or someone I know, and everything that I'd want to say or have already said to someone. Here are a few examples.

I am so excited to see you, my pants are practically falling off.
You're hilarious.
~picture of a heart with the words "I Love You" on it~ A big hug for you!
And when I saw you again, you were actually prettier than I remembered. I didn't think that was possible.
I really like you. As everything.
I love you for all of the above.
I love you too.
You were the one for me when it was then. I wish I had known it.
You're stronger than you think, because you've lived through everything in your life. No one else has done that.
You really do have a fabulous ass, you know that?
You're too beautiful for it to be safe. I'm the James Bond type, so I'm going to have to "take you out."
I don't know if this is appropriate since we've just met, but you're going to marry me.
I miss you. -I'm standing right next to you! -I know, I'm just pre-guilting you so you don't leave.

Some of those are cheesy, yeah, but didn't you smile when you read that stuff? You want someone to say that to you, because you want to be wanted, to be loved and cherished and beautiful in someone's eyes. You want to say those things because you know it'll make someone else feel fantastic and on air for the rest of the day.

So say it! Say what you want because you only really have one chance to say everything. There's only one chance for every single decision that we make, and if you decide to err on the side of caution then you haven't made the right decision! What if she said she liked you too?!

Well, there's always the possibility that she's going to say she doesn't feel that way, but then you know. You know that you tried as hard as you could to tell her that you felt that way. And you lost a little and your heart is a little bit broken, but she is always going to remember you as the person who tried. The guy who gave it his best shot because he cared, and he wanted you to know. He took that risk because he thought it would make you both happy, and maybe it would have, or maybe you both would have ended up in pieces and confused about where to go after, but you would know.

I have regrets too. The above scenario happened to me, and I didn't take the risk, and it's something I have to live with every day. I think I made the right decision for me then and now, but I'm always going to wonder if I maybe made the right one.
Everyone has been on both sides of that conversation, and everyone has walked away. You've all been able to pick up and move on and breathe and breathe and breathe again. You might have felt like the whole world was going to come out of the sky, but you picked up and you cried and wished for things to be different and you made yourself feel better. You did all that and you moved on.

I have loved and cherished every single one of those people who said those fantastic things in the quotes up there. I have held them in the closest confines of my heart for as long as I possibly could and I can say that--for all except one--I have made sure that they all know clearly and concisely how I feel. Obviously some of those are friend-love, and some are more-than-friends-love. Some are tragic-love-that-turned-out-awfully, and some are well-we-gave-it-our-best-shot-love, and then there's still one that we haven't really put aside. There are so many types of love, and it's a waste not to embrace every single kind.

Anyways, that's all I wanted to write.
Love with your whole heart as wide open as you can. Get hurt, cry a little and make sure your heart bleeds just a bit.
Go out and break someone's heart, but then come back and try to fix it.
Make mistakes, go back and try to redo, redo, redo.
Learn if you can't, feel blessed if you can.
Talk in your sleep, and hope someone hears their name and sees you smile.
Tell Grandma you're thinking of her. Tell Mom you're thinking of her. Tell Dad. Tell your brother, your sister, your dogs.
Send a text because you want to say hello.

Never let anything fester in the middle, in your head, you'll only end up tossing it out with the rest of the trash you pick up during the day.

Love a lot, love hard, love everyone you can stand to talk to.

And because of this rant, I say that maybe unrequited love is still love. It's miserable love, but it's love.

So.

Love,
Miss Guided

Video Production Club and WTF, Don't Text if you Don't Care, Asshole.

2010-03-11T00:48:00.006-05:00

This will be a complaining post. I'm warning you now, it may be hilarious, it may be the funniest fucking thing you've ever read in your entire life, but it will be stuffed thanksgiving-style full of self-pity and angry ranting. It probably won't even be funny, but it will complain a lot.
So.

That's my disclaimer. May or may not tag that onto every post from now until forever slash whenever I decide that I want to be an astronaut and just stop blogging.
Which probably won't happen, the astronaut thing I mean. I may stop blogging, but I probably won't ever be an astronaut. I don't like heights and the whole idea of an infinite Space freaks the fuck out of me.
Can "fuck" be freaked out of you? That sounds weird. Philosophical question of the day.

Note to Self:

Dear Miss Guided,

No one actually reads this besides the people you know in real life who you bully into reading this. You should probably just drop off the face of the planet because you're so not-special. You could always join a circus and try to be successful that way. And/or act like a general idiot, so I guess maybe psychologists could try to figure out the inner workings of your brain.
Probably not though, because you're not special enough to even be considered brain-study material.
HA.

Love,
World.

Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled bitch-fest.

I hate people who can't keep up a conversation.
Really and truly, these people are the scum in between Larry the Jailbird's toes after he lost his shower privileges for a month. Actually...they're that scum's scum. Yeah. They're that scummy.

Would you like to know why I hate these dick-munchers? Of course you do, you've read this far, haven't you!?

HAVEN'T YOU?

Please.

Ok, I hate them because they make me feel like I've done something wrong. If you text me, call me or start a conversation, I feel special because someone is seeking me out to communicate. For a second, I was on someone's mind and they've decided to roll with it and give me a shout.
Which is awesome.

Then it gets ugly.

Because I'll respond all happy-eager-stupid like, and then get a half-assed response in return. If you initiate a conversation, and I respond in kind, you had better have a good goddamn fucking reason for basically BAILING OUT mid-sentence and leaving me feeling like a pathetic loser.

Honestly, its just simple manners; you ask someone how they've been if--and really only IF--you are genuinely interested in how they've really been. If you don't care, don't send the fucking text. Most phones have the "do you really want to send this text?" option for those nights where you probably shouldn't be mass-texting your entire phone book because you're awake, it's 5 in the morning, and you were woken up by Fuzzy-the-Bear (aka, Mistake from Last Night) snoring like it's going out of style.

USE THAT OPTION ALL THE TIME.

Seriously, if you don't care, don't text. Simple as that.

Next step is the response; if it's a little delayed and it's maybe--for a completely and absolutely HYPOTHETICAL and NOT TRUE AT ALL NO SIR example--sometime around midnight on a Wednesday/Thursday night (crazy, what a coincidence that tonight is Wednesday/Thursday), maybe assume that the person you're texting is possibly in the SHOWER because she has a TEN O'CLOCK CLASS tomorrow while you're on spring break. Really. Easy assumption to make. Totally hypothetical though, obviously.

Don't get offended. If the response is eventually enthusiastic, you're good to go pick up the conversation like a functional human being. Unless you're a douche-bucket, and you decide that all of a sudden there are better things to do, and you decide to give one word responses.

Totally understandable, by the way, that there are better things to do than--oh, I don't know--talk to someone you haven't spoken to for real in about...4 months? And are trying to work a functional friendship out with? Maybe? Probably not to you, not to me either obviously.
Really, if you didn't want to work out this thing, you really shouldn't have said you did. Honesty is always the best policy, and you should probably be less of a tool; if you don't want to be friends with someone, either say so or just get out of his/her life. It's not fair to the person who's head you're fucking with.

Really.

But, if there's something better to do and you can't talk right then and that's really it, JUST SAY SO, YOU FUCKTARD.

Anyways, if this totally hypothetical situation has ever fallen- on your head, tell me about it. Really, tell me because I don't want to know that I'm the only idiot out there with a life like this.

Anyways, nothing really super special going on in life, but I'm doing an update anyways.

Did I really just do that?!

-Accidentally brushed this guy's hand, and he totally flipped out and was like, "why did you do that?!"
Cue funny looks from me and the rest of the group we were working in.
"Uhh...it was an accident."
"Oh."
Awkward. I have never felt more strange in my life and my hand-talking has come to an abrupt halt.
-Got a blister the size of a quarter on my heel. It's gross and you probably don't give a flying-squirrels balls about it, but it's a pretty impressive size.
- Got a care package. Yummmmm real coffee from Papa Nicholas!!!! I'm contemplating burning the Satan's Piss/Archer Farms stuff, just because it sort of smells like how it should taste (but doesn't since it tastes like...you guessed it. satan's piss.), just so it'll smell kinda nice.
-My mother also sent me two sleep masks. I asked for one, and I really don't know why she thinks I need two. It's not like I ever get any, so I really don't have people spending the night. And besides, even if I did, the last thing I would do would pull out the purple Panda-face sleep mask and the "Leave Me Alone" jewel encrusted sleep masks and be all, "LYKE, Which one do you want?!"
Really, mom? Really?!
She's still not reading this, by the way. I don't think she'd enjoy my language. I'm a little salty.
-Going to see my friends in like...15 hours? Something like that, I don't know. All I know is that I'm going out tomorrow night and I'm probably going to be making mistakes that I'll be proud to tell my kids about (after they turn a certain age where I'm like, "fuck it, they're screwed up enough already, this won't hurt.").
-I talked about video production club with someone today. Now, I don't know about any of you people, but I fucking loved VP club. It was sweet, you got to fuck around with cameras and "high tech" (not really) electronics and learn how to make the morning announcements. My friends and I would do "birthday shout outs," pretty much every time our team had the day, and we got called down to the office every single time to be yelled at by the vice principal. Nothing ever happened, but he was always threatening expulsion or suspension if we "ever did something like that again" since apparently it singled out kids who didn't get shout outs on their birthdays.
Boo-fucking-hoo, baby. Make friends in VP club, and you'll get the shout-out.
Anyways, we kept doing it regardless. Now they don't have VP club, and the vice principal runs around with a night-stick, beating junior high kids because they're wearing prostitution-ring-esque clothing and/or pants-on-da-floor.
Honestly, kids these days!
-SPRING BREAKKKKK
-----Not actually doing anything spectacular, I'm just going home. But that's why I'm so EXCITED.
Also, I get to see Zach on Sunday! How fucking awesome is that? Especially since he has a brohawk.

Anywhatsits, I'm going to bed now. I have nothing better to do, and Zach is well on his way to winning the Tour de France, so I gotta get this up before he's won the race.

Goodnight (nonexistent) Readers!!

Love (maybe, possibly misery or at least pseudo-misery depending on if this HYPOTHETICAL person get's off his HYPOTHETICAL ass and attempts friendship again),
Miss Guided

Pseudo-Hippies and How to be Nice to Your College Town

2010-03-03T15:43:00.006-05:00

Alright, so I lied. I'm not really all that pathetic of a human being. I'm actually fairly alright on the grand scale of people.
I am not a serial killer, I don't litter, I don't like Hitler or North Korea, and yeah, I'm part of this pseudo-hippie generation that's too afraid to drop acid, but we're totally cool with rallying in large groups organized by completely random strangers on the internet.

Compared to people who are serial killers, do like Hitler and don't know how they feel about North Korea (because they haven't seen this; trust me, once you watch it you'll know how absolutely not-confused you should be about North Korea. Spoiler, there are NO people who aren't in on this whole let's-play-tea-party WITH A MILLION RANDOM PROGRAMMED ROBOTS POSING AS PEOPLE. Yeah.), and those who may be dropping acid or who don't admit to the fact that they're afraid to...I'm basically a saint compared to those folks.
I pay taxes, I usually have a job (except I quit my low-paying, awful conformist Plato's Bucket-O'Misery Job), and I love animals and don't drop acid or deny the fact that I'm terrified to. I also try not to meet random people from the internet, in real life. That's just a bad idea in general.
Honestly, I'm like a kitten when you compare how much impact I have on the universe right now. A kitten who enjoys coffee way too much and has a penchant for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but still. Kitten.
I fucking hate cats.
Oh, and I'm single-handedly going to be supporting the loan industry in about three years when they start beating me over the head with payment notices. More on that in the next post, thank you Eryca.

So, this whole sustainable-earth movement that's starting to get way crazy is interesting to me. I want to learn how to be a less-useless human (as in, leave a fairly shallow carbon footprint, cut my costs to society, etc.), but I don't know how to do it. Now, I could go the whole Freegan route, but I think that's a little to extreme for me. Dumpster diving is not, repeat not something I ever want to have to experience, but some of their ideas are kind of cool. They're trying to be as recycle-savvy as they possibly can, which is cool, but they're overestimating the human ability to not create waste. We--as in mankind, of which they are a part of--created Styrofoam; we're all basically going to hell for that.
We can, however, make hell less hot and gross by cutting our waste or attempting to plug what we think is garbage (actually completely usable stuff) back into our human-waste cycle and make ourselves less dangerous to...ourselves.

That whole little rant was totally confusing, but I'm going to try and clear it up. I'm running on six hours of sleep here, give me a break.

Ok, so we're wasteful, horrible monstrosities that kill baby bunnies and puppies with our nasty garbage-that-could-potentially-not-be-garbage; lets talk about how to kill less of them, especially since we're in college. (Finally, I'm getting to the point.)

Being in college, as I've been bitching about since...August, is hard, but it's also hard on the places where we're actually in college.
City schools I think have it the easiest because they've got a lot of different resources around, and there's probably a pretty big hipster-eco movement that's being born every few minutes, but rural schools and those that don't really have adjoining college-towns are pretty much in the shits for the next forty years or so. Red cups stick around, and since there's usually nothing else to do besides drink to excess in smaller towns, people are going to be littering more and just generally turning the town into a gigantic condom-dump.
Bloomington is actually a fairly eco-friendly town; it's inhabited mostly by frat boys, sorority girls, hipsters who weren't mainstream enough to rush/pledge, the rest of us losers, townies, and professors. Guess which ones have the least amount of impact on the environment?
At least in my opinion, it's probably the "Rest of us Losers." I'm not included in that because I drink too much non-fair-trade coffee, but still.
ROULs probably don't have cars, so there go carbon emissions from motor vehicles. We rely mostly on public transport, bikes, and loading rides off friends when absolutely necessary, so that's a good thing. We're also not rich enough to be eating out every day, so we eat on our meal plans or we grocery shop at the cheapest place in town where we can get the right amount of food. Hipsters are good about this too, so yay for dorky-ironic glasses-wearing folks.
For IU students, the grocery store with the best bang for the buck is BloomingFoods. It's a fairly organic place to get fresh fruits, veggies, meats and cheeses (we're in the middle of fucking nowhere, people; farms are like Starbucks here) that are grown locally or at least very nearby-ish. Compared to Kroger prices for bulky processed foods that aren't all that interesting, healthy or even good, it's a fantastic deal.
Also, keeping healthy and eating naturally is pretty easy on a meal plan since there's a dining hall in every neighborhood on campus, and veggie/potato/salad bars and vegetarian/vegan options everywhere. My in-residence convenience store (on meal-points, yesssss) has a whole section just for organic foods. I have organic strawberry spread for my PB&J sandwiches, and while it normally would have cost me a bit to introduce that to my diet, I had already paid for it through my meal plan. Fucking awesome, that's what that is.

But anyways, besides food (which I talk about way too much on this blog I think, and it's going to have an impact on me eating all the fucking time), there are other ways to keep your footprint shallow. Buy second hand.
Ok, so I have a ton of awful experience into why this is a bad idea, but there are some good ways to do this. Plato's is a good place to go if you want trendy clothes, but you have to be really careful to double check your clothing in the dressing room for stains, holes, rips and tears. The buyers are (usually) doing their best to make sure the clothes they buy from customers are in good conditions, but we are NOT nasty-finding scan-bots. We are teenagers who hate our jobs and want to move far far away. You do the math.
There are tons and tons of thrift shops in most college towns and cities though, so try those places too. Vintage shops are sweet, especially since most of the stuff is in good condition, won't break the bank (step away from the vintage Gucci, my friend) and--bonus--a lot of the stuff in them are one of a kind since people didn't believe in recycling their sweet clothes from the 70s and 80s. Hi Mommy, I'm looking at you; plaid prom dress, or sweet blazers (with removable shoulder-pads, please g-d). Which one did you choose? Gee, I wonder.
Fun fact, my own mother doesn't even read my blog. Fabbbbbuloussss. I'm going to make her read this later.
Anyways, Ebay and etsy are also great for this. Etsy is really cool since you're basically ONLY getting one of a kind stuff, since it's all either vintage or handmade, and eBay is just fucking eBay, so it's awesome. I loveeeee eBay.
Bloomington residents have places like the Cactus Flower to rely on, which is in this really really cool victorian-style house on Kirkwood (main drag) and...Dunn? I think. Probably. But it's got Cactus Flower which is this really cool vintage shop with two floors of stuff, and then in the same building is also this tiny little astro-hipster-awesome jewelry store with sterling silver studs by the dozen in awesome designs and shapes. Fun fact, I have six piercings (on my ears, you perverts); 4 in my left ear, 2 on my right, and I am proud to say that I never have matching earrings, so this place was amazing for me. I got to buy single studs and mix and match. I'm currently rocking a moon and sun combo, with a few cinch-hoops and a diamond that I got for my bat mitzvah thrown in. To not match is kind of interesting, since I know very few others who actually do it. Makes me feel special despite the fact that I am very much not.

Here's another way to be less wasteful, and I think this is the biggest way.
BE CREATIVE.

Honestly, when people get bored, the Earth is the biggest loser. College kids eat when they get bored, they also drink alcohol and generally engage in debaucherous and dangerous behavior, but for the most part, they waste a ton of stuff. Candy wrappers, red cups, alcohol bottles, ping pong balls, pizza-money, etc. You know you've done it and you know it's bad, but how to stop?

Make an effort to find a recycling bin, or a the least a garbage can. They're everywhere and I swear you can hold onto your cup long enough to get it to one. I absolutely despise it when people make an effort to toss their trash and miss the bin, and then leave whatever they were trying to throw out on the ground. I yelled at a guy once when I saw him do this, and made a big production of going to pick it up and place it in the garbage can. Needless to say, he was beet red in embarrassment and I guarantee that he'll think twice before leaving his crap lying a foot away from the bin.
Life Lesson? It pays to go against the grain. I know you hear this all the time, but I'll bet you've also seen the effects of this possibly going badly. It can go well, I swear. Just speak steadily, try not to yell, and you know what? Embarrassment goes a long way. People act like they're all high and mighty when someone calls them out on something offensive (for example, racial or religious epithets that are offensive), but in reality, they're covering up for serious embarrassment and shame from being caught in something they know is wrong. Believe me, please?
K, thanks, serious rant-ish part is almost over. I swear the next post will be less somber and more hilarious.

I'm a realist, I know that drinking on college campuses isn't going anywhere--not even saying that I want it to--but I'm optimistic that people are creative enough to create their own fun and ways to keep garbage off the streets and out of our air and water. Carpool to a beach or go to a movie at the campus theater (ie; free), go work out with your friends, do some ART (hugely-major art dork with absolutely no life beyond senseless but awesome doodles in class that turn into not-shitty-but-not-amazing semi-art), read a book...seriously there are so many things to do that don't involve getting drunk or high that people never even think of. And when they happen, people say, "oh, hey we should do this more often."
But they don't.
Why?
Because they're idiots. It's that whole being-human thing.

Advice Dump

Anyways, moral of the story is to waste less.
Use your re-usable water bottles and coffee mugs.
Ask for a paper cup instead of Styrofoam.
Don't call people mean names. They don't like it and they're gonna call you out on Facebook.
Try to respect the place that you live, and fall in love with where you are again.
We have no idea how lucky we actually are to have clean parks and trees all around us, so try and make sure your children have that opportunity as well.
It's not fair to them to deprive them of what we've fucked up royally.
Don't hurt puppies, they're cute and they grow up to be useful.

Love (because I think it's not unrequited since people are ACTUALLY READING THIS!),
Miss Guided

Why Life is Awesome; Why I'm an Embarrassing Human Being

2010-03-01T23:08:00.009-05:00

You want to know something special? Something really surprising (especially since it's coming from my twisted little head)?
Something so strange to even fathom in today's society, that you're never ever never going to guess what it is until I tell you?

Of course you do. You're reading this trash, aren't you?

Ok, well here's a secret; life is pretty fucking amazing for most people in college right now.
I know.
Considering the fact that I spend most of my time on the internet complaining about my life on this blog, its weird that I should come out with this kind of puke. Its true though, about life being amazing for all us college brats.

Here are some of the reasons that life is awesome for college kids:

1. Where else are you allowed to basically bend the rules of society so much that getting inebriated before going to class and taking a test gets you high-fives instead of snotty comments? Try that in a professional setting and you are most certainly going to get either A)fired or B)ratted on and then fired. So basically fired.
Also, people are fucking weird here, and it's definitely celebrated. And I mean weird-weird, not quirky-weird or cute-weird, but your-parents-unleashed-you-on-the-world-WHY?-weird.
Take a look at websites like MLIA (my life is average); they would not have all of those epically hilarious (and probably fake) stories about random people dressing up as the Christmas Turd from South Park and running through campus chased by Hanukkah Harry.
That's not actually a real story on there, but it's the general idea. Random weird shit happens and people get excited about it. Try that in the "Real World" (notice the capitals and quotes; that means its a separate entity from what we're all living in right now and not the stupid reality show that my roommate seems to be obsessed with) and see what happens. Bad shit, let me tell you. The police will probably chase you and you're going to jail, and depending on what country you did it in, they may or may not fuck with your sentencing length to milk as much free labor out of your very-not-free self as they possibly can before you collapse in a heap of law-and-norm-breaking bones. Just sayin'.
But really, how often do people "use" Harry Potter spells in public, and then not get funny looks? Not often. Try it in college, and not only will you get laughs, you will probably also get a date, at least according to MLIA. I don't think any of the people who say "and we have a date tonight" to end their MLIA entry, actually ever have dates. Like ever.

Not to say that I ever have dates. Like ever. Things need to change with that. I need to get out of the oh-hey-lets-make-out-cool-I'm-done-see-ya-facebook-me-later phase. It's fun and all, but it's starting to make campus feel very small, if you get my drift.

Anyways, back to NOT complaining about my life.

2. Sleep schedules are so messy, but so delicious, here. Just like the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I've been having for EVERY MEAL for the past week (more on that in Number 5).
If you plan right (ie, not like me) you can sleep until two in the afternoon, have all your classes start at 3 or 4, be done around 7 or 8, go out and "have fun" until 2 in the morning, and then do it all over again. Seriously this is awesome. It's totally normal to roll out of bed and go to class in the afternoon, then stay up until all hours doing absolutely nothing or doing absolutely nothing legal (note the difference, one includes Facebook, guess which one). Love it.
In Real Life, you have to get up at 6 and be at work by 7. That means you're going to turn into my grandma, who gets up at 7:30am NATURALLY (not fucking natural). That sucks.
Weirdly enough though, people are consistently sleep deprived in college. Probably because of Facebook.
Be prepared though, when you go back home your parents will expect you to function like the rest of the "day-trippers." Things can get weird when you're on a caffeine-withdrawl, three-hours-of-sleep binge.

3. At IU, we get free gym access. That's awesome, mostly because everyone here is fucking obsessed with either being emaciated garden-rakes or overly-buff macho-super-men, and it's awesome. I have never seen so many physically fit people in one place, and I gotta say, it's a good way to peer pressure the rest of us normal folk into staying normal-size instead of super-sized.
We have 3 gyms I think. Probably more.
No, actually I know there are more, but there are three of which I know where they are, so that's what I'll say.
Anyways, people in college are generally in their prime (unless you're counting the awkward forty-something going back to college who has three kids and a loaf of bread/husband that she once thought sort of resembled something that could have been her "soul mate."), and for the most part that means that there will be hot people all over the place for you to "have fun with." Not that I'm advocating promiscuous fun, but fun. Fun, as in dates.
You know, those things I never get.

4. This is hard. I need to be more positive about life. This is also not an actual "reason life is awesome" number.

4 (four real). We have some seriously cool opportunities that people basically stuff down our pants.
Seriously, I get handed free stuff on every corner of campus, and then there's also the inevitable "lets-go-party-in-another-country-and-call-it-studying-abroad" thing. Ok, so it's not just one big party; actually in my nerdy little brain the whole "studying" part of the studying abroad bit is probably the coolest thing. I want to go to Australia to study aboriginal tribes, and you know what? I CAN!
Yes, folks, there's an app for that.
I mean, there's a program for that.
Because that's what being at a big college feels like; you're browsing through your iPhone and lo-and-behold, you see that there's an app that reminds your to clip your toenails. Now, you've never thought you needed a reminder, or even a recorder that tells you how long your toenail clippings are this week as compared to last week and what you need to do in order for them to grow longer, but now that it's here...well, why not?!
That's what college is like. No, I don't particularly NEED a USB drive/lanyard/trip to study Urdu in Pakistan, but hey, if you're offering, sign me up.

5. We're all actually five years old at heart. This is where my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches come in. I've been craving them like crazy for the past week, so what have I done? I've eaten PB&J sandwiches for dinner every night, because I wanted to. Also, if I had a penis/no life, I'd probably be glued to a T.V. playing Modern Warcraft Eleven or whatever has the biggest, loudest guns. And zombies.
As it is, I'm obsessed with the movie Zombieland, so I've got that part covered. And I'm sure if I had a T.V. I'd be glued to it watching Criminal Minds or trashy MTV shows all the time. But I don't, so I'm not. Life is grand.
Anyways, point is that we can do whatever we want, be as immature and as irresponsible as we want, and mom and dad can't be all debbie-downer-like.
Honestly, who needs to eat a "balanced diet?" PB&J has fruit in it. J=Jelly=fruit jelly=fruit.
Peanuts=protein.
Butter=carbs/cals
There. Balanced. Bread=grain, done. Ha.
College kids are more immature than most elementary school kids I know, and I think if it were socially appropriate, we'd all be very happy to be running around in tutus and Superman capes for weeks on end (because laundry is a bitch).

Also, new feature. I'm going to do what I'm pretty sure I shouldn't do. I'm going to update you all on the goings-on in my life. I know you don't give a flying fuck, but bitch please Ima tell you anyways.

Here goes.

Did I Really Just Do That?

-Coffee from archer farms=satan's piss. Honestly it's like the sewer water you see draining into the "mighty" Jordan River around here (aka, Piss Creek of IU). Not that I've ever tasted the PCofIU water, but still. Monkey see, monkey do. Or in this case, coffee-looks-like-feces, probably-tastes-like-feces.
I totally fucked that analogy up, but whatever.
-Got an 89 on a paper I originally got an 87 on just by arguing for a minute. Easiest two percentage points ever. Also, girl next to me got a 64. Instant gratification over someone else's misery because she was all smarmy about finishing her experiment before me. Bitch, please.
-Fell standing up still. Actually, this was two weeks ago, but it was stupid/embarrassing enough that the aftershocks are still hitting me. It was snowy and gross and I (as the stupid fashion-obsessed ninny that I am) wore the wrong shoes; super cute knee-high brown leather boots WITH NO TRACTION ON THE SOLES. Now, I didn't fall ONCE walking around campus (even after a close call when Beth literally had to drag me up a hill that I couldn't get my footing on), but when we got to the bus-stop I was standing next to her, and I was kicking the snow for some reason (probably because I hate snow past New Years; it deserved to be kicked). Brought my foot back to land a nice stomp on Lucifer's Cotton, and I totally loose my balance and land on my ass. I think I wrote about this already.
Or maybe I dreamed about writing about it.
Whatever, I'm telling it again. Anyways, I fell, and I had to laugh really hard to make sure that no one later that day was like, "I saw this stupid idiot fall standing straight up, and she totally had a meltdown and cried. What an Asshat."
So I laughed like an idiot so they could be all "I saw this really quirky/funny/gorgeous/awesome girl fall today and she totally made fun of herself and cracked all these really clever/hilarious jokes about it." Or something like that.
-Wanted to smile at the fat guy at the gym today, because the Vaginas-With-Muscles-and-Micro-Tiny-Penises (penii?) (also known as Wanna-be Guidos) were snickering loudly at him as he fumbled on the rowing machines. Didn't. Felt like an evil person.
Got over it. Ate a baked potato.

That's my life right now, actually.

See, college kids are awesome, as made clear by my life.

Loving and Fantastic and Wonderful (because I got a subscriber AND a comment thankyouthankyouthankyou),
Miss Guided

P.S. Am I still witty? Please say yes and validate my internet-existence.

New Crap, Good Mood, Pretty Shit.

2010-02-21T22:53:00.020-05:00

So, this week I have prezzies for you. In the form of me kind of organizing my babbling.
Kind of.

New Features
Things I Like

Pretty Shit

Summer sundress shopping in winter. These are from Jennifer Lily Designs on Etsy. She's got some really cute stuff at surprisingly nice, even prices. When the snow falls, I shop summer.

Classic literature with pretty covers. Especially that work from women like the Bronte sisters (Emily, Charlotte and Anne Bronte) and of course Jane Austen. I have a favorite (Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte), but I love them all very much. They had very poignant voices for women in their age, and they were really brave people to look up to. Also, a lot of their book covers were re-done recently by new illustrators. Ruben Toledo is responsible for the amazingly dark and beautiful work on Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, and The Scarlet Letter, while Coralie Brickford Smith re-did a few of the Penguin Classics in a more subdued, antique-books-in-a-thrift shop style. Regardless, they're all amazing, and I'm ridiculously excited to possibly buy a full set for my birthday this year.
~
Actual Blog Part of my BloggyBloo

Sometimes I wish I were one of those flawless looking indie chicks.
Yeah, you read right. I wish I were one of those really confident, skinny little slips of a person who is either always wearing just the most perfect, rumpled-sexy but still appropriate for the rest of the world outfits or just looks so put together it isn't even fair, funny or fucked up. You always see them with perfect skin, perfect-but-not hair, perfect everything. I wish I were like that sometimes.

Other times I enjoy malted milk chocolate way more than looking like an emaciated garden-rake.

But seriously, you know what I mean, right? That awesome mix of hippy-chic and kind of downtown grunge that makes only really skinny girls and/or really naturally beautiful girls look super hot. Because I'm not either of those things, I must take what I can get.

Also, I was just facebook tagged in a bunch of photos that were unfortunate. No one told me you could see the cute blue and white polka dots on my bra through my stupid shirt. Love the untagging feature on facebook, really I do.

Back to stuff.

I'm obsessed with VBS.tv. They do some of the sickest, most beautiful underground journalism that I've ever seen in my life. Its poignant and terrifying and lovely and sad, and there's really no substitute for them. I wish I were that talented.

Also, I love coffee. Any kind of coffee. And tea.
But mostly coffee because tea doesn't instantly perk me up when I smell it. I smell my bag o' delicious smelling coffee before I even grind my beans up. That's how delicious it is. Restaurants cannot make as delicious of a cup as I can. And that is a fact. Starbucks doesn't even hold a candle to my amazing Hazelnut dark roast from Papa Nicholas. Really.
So, naturally, I was upset when I went all the way to Target today only to find that they didn't have Papa Nicholas. At all.

Dear Indiana Targets,

Fuck you. Be more like a civilized Target than a bumble-fuck type place.
Townies don't know shit. You need to get actual coffee BEANS, not the little ground up bits. Those aren't as good as staying fresh.
However, I am quite happy with the Butter Rum version I got (ground up, goddamn you) from Archer Farms.

Love (but not until you get actual BEANS that aren't burnt-dark roast)
Miss Guided.

There, that's all I had to say. I love Target, but today they disappointed me.

Bad notes:

Convincing parents to pretend to love me is harder than expected. They have hearts of iron (ironically passed on to me, haha). Not even my begging and pleading emails can make them pretend.
Um, hi. I'm talking about my life to a blog. What does that tell you about me?
Actually, I have quite a few friends, so really this is just me wasting time I don't have.
I'm a liar.
Evil horrible awful yucky experiments are going to start descending on my life soon. I like learning about other experiments already done, I don't want to make my own though.
I have no money. Ever.

Good notes:

I got the camp job. I just need to convince my parents to pretend that they love me and let me go.
Getting in touch with old friends. :)
Not studying for Criminal Justice exams and still getting As
Coffee
New Estee Lauder makeup. I love fresh ones. I use Nutritious 1.0 Intensity (because I'm paler than a bleached sheet of paper. yeah. that pale.) and it's wonderful. Beyond fantastic.
Life in general

That's it.

I love you.
Sort of. You haven't proven that you love me back and I am of the firm and practiced belief that love cannot be unrequited, because then it's not actually love. It's misery.

Not-Love-Because-You-Have-Eschewed-Me-With-A-Firm-Hand,
Miss Guided.

P.S. Bonus pointed to whoever figures out from where I copied my salutation from.

Passionate and Impusive; How I rationalize being both.

2010-02-18T15:37:00.006-05:00

This is a passion flower. A really pretty creative one.
That is what my brain looks like right now; all over the place, but generally optimistic all around. I look at the bright side of most situations, unless I'm talking to Taylor, Beth or Adam in which case my life is just about to end if I get a hangnail. They love me though. I think.

I have been described--more than once, and by more than one person--as very passionate.
Passionate, as in every action and every attempt at anything is made in a very forceful, full-on, balls-out sort of way. I go after what I want--or don't want, but consequentially need--pretty hard, and I've gotta say, that particular trait of mine has some pros, but its definitely got a few cons.
Pro-wise, I've been conditioned to be an optimist. Everything that could go wrong will go wrong and I'll still be running around with a stupid smile plastered on my face with Bob the Builder's (and Obama's) slogan dripping out my mouth like word-vomit. I will not give up until all options have been exhausted, and even then I'll turn into a stupid-driven person who's all "we can learn from this absolutely horrible experience!"
Except I never learn the most important lesson; don't get so passionate so fast.

See, the issue here is that I'll get super attached to ideas on a pretty immediate basis. Someone will bring something up (an opportunity or something), I'll do maybe an hour of basic research on it and then all of a sudden I'm applying for positions that sign me away to programs or activities that are humongous commitments. I don't think things through, rather I'm impulsive and I just do.
It's pretty ass-backward since a lot of people consider me a realist at best and a cynic at worst, so this personality quirk is the last thing you'd expect to see coming out of me.

However, it has come in handy in several ways.

1. I love fast, and I love hard.
Not in the physical sense, you perv, but in the emotional and intellectual sense. Passion extends to pretty much everything on my radar; subjects in school, friends, family, activities, boys, etc. I throw my full heart into everything I do, despite the inevitable emotional fuck-all roller-coasters that I put myself though. I'm the type where I'm not going to jump out of the plane if I have to think about it and go through those scare-tactic classes, but if you say "hey, there's a plane/cliff/helicopter jumping class today and they're letting people jump by the end of it," you can bet that I'll be hurling myself off some obscene height without a thought. Even if I have a confirmed fear of heights. Long and short of it is that I've had experiences not many people can say they've had, mostly because I do what I love, in the moment at least, and I chase my dreams.
To quote the Joker, "I'm like a dog after his tail! I desperately want it, but I have no idea what I'd do with it if I actually got it."

2. People like seeing that I'm "goal oriented."
Which I am. I have a set of goals, but it changes daily. Like right now I want to be an FBI agent because I'm feeling sort of thrill-seeker-y. But two years ago I wanted to be a surgeon (probably more because of Grey's Anatomy than anything), and before that (and still sort of now as my grounded, big-kid job aspiration) I wanted to be a psychologist.
And to be honest, I think I can do it all. It's going to be hard, and I'm probably going to want to pitch myself off one of those obscene heights I talked about in Number 1(sans any sort of safety device), but I'll do it.
Besides, my "passion for action" as I've described it to potential employers, has gotten me jobs. They like seeing someone optimistic and happy and "I can do it!" Also I think they enjoy my sense of humor and want someone to bounce abuse off of. I'm basically positive that's why I worked at Plato's Bucket-O'-Misery for so long.
(p.s. I don't suggest bashing your employers online, but they're totally cool with the nicknames and complaining because all of the employees and management do it in person anyways)

3. People are attracted to others with can-do personalities!
This is just sort of an added bonus. People like happy people. That's just kind of how it is. Yes, I complain a little (a lot on the blog at least) but for the most part, I'm a builder-upper. You can do it, and all that stuff is part of my mantra.
Worrying is good, but doing nothing about your worries is not. Like I said in the Dear Asshat post, you have to make your own luck. Pity doesn't really exist in "Real Life," you gotta make things happen for you.

Anyways, I want these hiking boots.
They're cute in a sort of rugged-ass-kicking way, while also being functional and able to propel me through this horrible onslaught of white stuff that was recently dumped on my school.

They're kickass without being too fake-leather, rubber hiking-ish. Do you know what I mean? Durable and practical without the ugly, and charming without the pastel.

I think I just described myself. Maybe. I'm a little charming, right?
Sort of.
Anyways the point of the rant was that I'm trying to rationalize some pretty rash actions on my part. Also, go with your heart; if it's telling you to take the job on the other side of the world despite the risks, go buy the plane ticket. You're only going to live once and you're going to fuck up. At least make interesting mistakes, okay?

Going to stop babbling now.
Love you all,
Miss Guided.

How To Spot A Cling-On, and Other Little Turds of Advice

2010-02-10T11:41:00.000-05:00

I checked out at one of the campus food-kiosks today, and was given a "good morning," salutation by one of the miserable people behind the counter making sandwiches for fat college kids.
Now, I think this phrase is interesting because it's kind of irrelevant. I'm the type of annoying person who, no matter what you tell me, will probably end up doing the opposite of what I'm told.
So, since that person told me to have a "good morning," I thought about it and lo and behold, I actually had done the exact opposite.

I just burned my tongue on very, very hot tea.
I definitely failed that Hebrew comprehension pop quiz. There's no way I did well.
I left my coffee on my desk in my room after making it.
I sneezed 8 times in a row right after I put my mascara on. Which means that it was still wet and since my eyes squinched shut, I smeared it all under my eyes and had to start over.
Which made me late for Hebrew.
And I slipped a million times trying to get there.

So no, I am not having a very good morning.

But I am feeling guilty for having written that letter from the last post. Yes, he's a whiny little twat, but seriously its not his fault.
Well, actually it is, but it's not his fault that I chose to kind of "be his friend" in the beginning because I couldn't see the signs for what they were.
So, I'm going to give you, dear dear reader(s), a guide of how to tell when you're dealing with an Asshat so you don't end up pouring your frustration out onto the unsuspecting Internet and polluting it with a bunch of (clever) insults about someone fairly specific.
Besides, a few of my friends were curious as to what my definition of an Asshat was. So here it is.

Step One
Identification; How can you tell who you're dealing with on first impressions alone?
Easily. You're going to notice little things about this person that might not fit with the rest of the (sort of, but not really) sane world.
He or she might incessantly check his or her appearance in any reflective surface available. If you're in a dorm room and they randomly walk in, you're probably dealing with an Asshat if they go straight for the mirror to check her bump-it or his new-age-alt Leonidas beard.
It's also an indication if they're really really super eager to tell you the little--and not so little--details about their lives. A simple, "hey, what's up," has the potential to turn into a half hour bitch fest about how her Great Aunt Fanny has this callous on her left foot and it's starting to turn green.
It's best to just smile and walk away quickly when it comes to these folks.
Another thing to watch out for is an initial clingyness. Asshats have this thing about going through friends fairly quickly (gee, I wonder why) so they're going to glom onto you like a large, untreatable fungus and become your BFF, LYKE OMG.
Yeah, I swear.

Step Two
If you've associated yourself unwittingly with a particularly clandestine Asshat; How do I distance myself?
Well, this was the mistake I made. After about 3 months of a weird acquaintanceship that was fast turning into him coming to my floor and knocking on my door and the doors of all my friends, I was beginning to understand what I had gotten myself into. It was a little clinginess that had turned into a strange sort of dependence on female approval. He had possibly always had this little personality quirk, but I think being away from his parents (mothers count as female, and they can approve of their sons' behaviors) and his circle of close friends definitely helped the helplessness devolve into full on desperation.
In order to try and distance yourself, I'd suggest not answering text messages at all, or if you're too nice, then try to let the conversations fizzle as quickly as possible. Be busy, but don't lie about it. You want to be the innocent one in this situation so try to be kind, but distant. Don't give too much insight into the inner workings of your life, and do not, under any circumstances, ask about theirs in detail. A simple, "what's up" can lead to a lot of things that you just really really don't want to know about, as mentioned above.
Be vague, try and get them to follow the same route.

Step Three
Jesus, what the hell have I gotten myself into? AKA, How to be a bitch.
Well, you've hopefully attempted to distance yourself, and they're still persisting. If you really, genuinely don't want anything to do with this person, then this next step is particularly crucial. You have to be firm, concise and make sure that this person understand that you're not joking or kidding here. If they have a tendency to overlook/not listen to the truth/things they don't want to hear, you're going to have to force them to listen.
What I did might not have been the best course of action (he called yesterday after I had found out some amazingly phenomenal news) but I'm pretty sure it got the job done. He had been texting me and facebooking me all week even after I had told him to stop and give me some space. I was on cloud nine when he called me, and I was literally full and flowing over with happiness over my news, so naturally seeing his name on the caller ID fueled some sort of uber-passionate reaction. I picked up the phone and said clearly, concisely and with a tinge of malice in my voice, "_____, you need to stop trying to contact me. Stop facebooking me, stop texting me, and don't call me again. If I want to be your friend, I'll get in touch with you, but that won't be for a while at this point. Your desperation is annoying and frankly I'm tired of having to deal with you. Back off, and do not contact me again, OK?" Click.
End of conversation. I didn't let him get a word in edgewise because I was running on such a rush of adrenaline, but you know what, he deserved every word of it. The stalker-ish tendencies were beginning to scare me, and I was not enjoying his constant "we should start over," "lets be friends," bullshit.
Here are the facts:
1. We were never that close in the first place, having known each other only for a few months.
2. He almost never asked me about my life. Ever. It was always about his life and his problems.
3. He had absolutely no respect for my familial issues and was hell-bent on proving that "his life was worse than mine."
4. I didn't enjoy being around him.

If any of those line up with your situation, definitely evaluate your "friendship" and see if you really want to continue it. Start with step one, then gradually try and distance yourself politely, if that doesn't work and the person escalates to being stalker-ish or unpleasantly clingy, then I would move on and explain firmly and clearly that you want space and would appreciate it if they'd respect that and back off.

Easy, right?
Not really, but entirely necessary.
Yes it was a little mean, but I'm attempting to turn over a new slate. I want to be friends with people I feel or have felt comfortable around before. I'm trying to start with a blank slate, a tabula rasa, and I really want to move on from the high school dramatics and social stigmas that came with them. I'm apologizing and reconnecting and moving on. And it feels good and light.

Also helps that I'm probably never going to be staying in my hometown again for longer than a month or so. Which is really really wonderful to look forward to. :)
Love my family, don't really love the town. Excited to start over, sort of.

Anyways, there it is. Be friends with who you want to be friends with. Love without regrets, live fully and live hard. Take risks and make sure that you can say that you tried as hard as you could. Say proudly that you have exhausted all other possible alternatives, and you will live with a happy, unburdened heart.
If you make a mistake, own up to it, learn from it, and try to correct it. If you can't, move on and keep the lesson you learned close to your heart.

That's all. My advice.
That was a long one, maybe someone (besides Beth) is actually reading this.
Let me know, please!

Love,
Miss Guided

Asshats and Miss Guided is a D-bag and so are You but thats ok; Letters to No One.

2010-02-08T21:10:00.001-05:00

Dear Obnoxious Asshat,
I swear to G-d, my head is going to explode if you facebook messages/text messages/etc. me one more time. How many times have I ignored your text/facebook "hellos" and "heys" and all that, only to have you send me fifty bagillion more texts/messages saying "r u there?" "r u ignoring me?" etc.

Seriously, what the hell?
Yes, I am ignoring you. No, texting me a million more times will not help you in your quest. It might make me file a restraining order, but no, it won't help you. So stop.

Seriously, how many hints do you need? You are a jerk, and an overdramatic little person who acts more like a 12 year old girl than an 18 year old boy. Yes, shit happens, and you're supposed to complain to your friends about it. But there comes a time when your problems are not as important as mine.
Actually, in my world, your problems aren't even a blip on my radar. I couldn't care less if you stubbed your toe or failed ANOTHER exam or fucked another dumb bimbo, because hey, guess what, we're really not that close and it's usually your fault. You earned that GPA last semester all by yourself, kiddo, and while the rest of us were studying or prepping for finals, you were on facebook talking to that girl who EVERYONE told you was bad news. High school stays in high school, college in college. That's how it is and should be. You deserve the grades you got, and I have no pity for any problems that come from those shenanigans. (I just had to spell check that word. Bahahahah, oh Word.)
I met you maybe 5 months ago, and you were kind of cool then. A generally fun person to party with, and fairly amusing to watch interact with the rest of the world. Then my family issues came along and not once did you ask what was wrong with me, or why I was gone from school for 15 days or any of that. Not that I expected you to, because those honors lie with people who I've put my trust in and who have put their trust in me. Also, people who have known me for longer than a few weeks.
All was well, no matter how insensitive and oblivious you were to everything/one around you that wasn't asking directly about your well-being.
Then, oh-my-gosh the world ended.
Not really, actually your ex did what all high schoolers are supposed to do. And you flipped out and texted me and manipulated me into going to see you (when I was dealing with my mother on the phone who had just had very painful surgery) to ask you what was the matter.
Now, I am not a huggy person. Not touchy-feely or anything unless I know and trust you. And I will tell people when I trust them.
But you, no. I don't and probably never will trust you.
So it was obviously a surprise when you--in all your manly glory--flung the door open, enveloped me in a sweaty, nasty hug and started wailing about your life.
You infuriated me, to say the least, and I left to go rant to one of the most fabulous, wonderful human beings on the planet (no, not you Adam, though you are quite wonderful), Miss Beth. (Who will start guest-writing soon! Yayyyyy!!!!)
Miss Beth let me rant and rave while we did laundry, and then I realized that I have absolutely no obligation to deal with you. We are not that close--and to be honest, if you act like this with all your friends, I don't want to be very close to you--and we aren't suitable matches as friends.
So there.
And after you did that awful thing to someone who I consider a close friend? Then denied it and tried to blame it on her?!
Seriously?!
You are the definition of an asshat, and I don't care if you read this. In fact, I think you need to.
Newsflash, punk; you're a selfish, spoiled child who hasn't learned to grow up and deal with your own mistakes and problems. We all hit bad patches, but those who get out of it are the ones who push forward and make their own luck.
There's no such thing as pity in the real world, and you're not getting any from this very real girl.

Sincerely,
Miss Guided

p.s. Please stop trying to contact me or trying to stir up more trouble. No one wants any more of the high school drama other than you. Let. It. Go.
p.p.s. Mike, thank you for listening. You're half angel, half hilarious person and have a wholly awesome haircut, no matter what you think.

Dear You,

Yes, I was an idiot. I de-friended you on facebook after a stupid fight, and I had too much pride to add you back. So when you added me 3 months later, I freaked.
Lame, I know, but whatever; I freaked inwardly and to Miss Beth. She's like an extra brain that's just conveniently not attached to my head.
After another rant session with her, I decided to keep you around and see if you said anything like "sorry" or even just a pick-up like "hi, how's it going?"
No such luck.
So I de-friended you again after two weeks.
Then, in all my pathetic glory, re-friended you after a day.
Cue rant to Miss Taylor (the wonderful person who deals with me from another state), and she makes me feel like less of a twat.
Now, when I send you a "hey" on Skype or on facebook, I expect to see a concilatory "hey" right back. Why wouldn't you?
Okay, well I know why you wouldn't.
1. I'm a bitch.
2. I'm an overdramatic bitch.
3. I was immature.
4. I still am immature.
5. And always will be immature.
6. You're pissed at me because:

of the de-friending
of my 4 month long silence
of my idiocy
of that horrible message I sent you

So. Here's my official apology, even if you are still kind of a D-bag. If it makes you feel any better at all, I still think of you as my D-bag. So there.
I'm sorry I was a horrible awful evil ice bitch.
Respond next time. Or take the first step. One of the two.
Sincerely,
Me.

Never Knew I was So Pathetically Pathetic (also known as Why I hate/love 500 Days of Summer)

2010-02-07T00:24:00.002-05:00

I just watched (500) Days of Summer, and I gotta say, I am truly depressed.
Deeply, utterly and perfectly depressed.
Here are the Top 5 Reasons why that (and all the other Indie-Lovey-Dovey-But-Still-Pathetically-Pathetic) film makes me want to curl up under my big green afghan and never leave the house again.

5. I will never look as adorable as Zooey Deschanel in that goofy 60s haircut and her off-trend-but-still-indescribably-cool clothing. She has this weird way that she carries herself (even in her not-acting life) that makes me want to be her best friend and her worst enemy all at once. Love-hate, but more like admire-from-afar/hate. The waist cinching, not-afraid-of-having-hips-and-lady-parts dresses she wore are so adorable, and lucky me actually has a few of those dresses. Obviously my waist is not that microscopic (as my mother so gently pointed out to me this weekend as we were shopping; she's a lovely lady), but the dresses she wore can be pulled off by pretty much anyone. Ditch the baby-bow that pissed me off the entire movie and add a shaggy blow-out and you're golden.

4. Greeting cards are entirely ruined for me. I refuse to buy another one. I'm going to make my own forever more.
So there.
I love Us.

3. College has nothing to do with anything. Seriously it's so hard to say that, but in the real world all this stuff about being a useful human being and getting involved in whatever it is we're supposed to be involved in has totally just gone up in smoke. He was a pretty good architect, but what the hell, he didn't finish school for it. Did he get the job? Did the Olivia Wilde look alike become his new "it's complicated" on Facebook? WHAT HAPPENED?

2. It had such a good message. BUT I'M NEVER GONNA GET IT UNTIL I WATCH THE MOVIE AGAIN. Which I have to. Since I bought it. But still, it was depressing and wonderful and I'm torn between popping it in again and just wanting to die for a little while longer. It's this really horribly fantastic roller coaster that I'm torn between being furious about and wanting to keep up with. But I can't.
I still don't know why she always wore blue. Or what the hell was up with the dance-sequence scene.

1. Now that they've made a film about it, it's never going to happen to me. I'm never going to be able to be all benevolent and beautiful and still very casual about telling some boy that, sorry, you just weren't the guy for me. And while you--an adorable but misguided (HA) and disillusioned young failure--are flailing around after I left you, I've somehow managed to get engaged and married and all that. But you're still happy for me.
Yeah, that's never going to happen now.

That's it for now. I'm done.
I'm home actually, so I don't have time for more, blah blah blah excuses no one's actually reading this anyways.

I'm not sure if I love you anymore since this movie ruined love for me.
Entirely.
Its not like anything/one else had ruined it before the movie.
Oh, no. Never. Not at all.
Fuckers.
Anyways, no I can't say if I love you, because I don't know if you exist.
(If there are readers out there, this is directed to you. Reassure my pathetically fragile ego. Comment. Tell me I'm ugly. Something.)

This font is the same color as my new nail polish and its making me smile.
Not-In-Love-With-Anyone,
Miss Guided

I hate sneezing.

2010-01-18T18:23:00.000-05:00

I fucking hate sneezing. There's nothing, abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING good that comes from sneezing.
It starts with that awful feeling you get right before you consciously realize you're about to blow snot-bombs across the room. The tickle that niggles at that spot between your brain and your sinuses is one of the most annoying feelings in the world, because it precedes the embarrassing "ah-ah-ah" that makes everyone around you duck-and-cover.
Then there's the face you HAVE to make pre-booger-launch. One eye is bugged out like someone squeezed your head stress-ball style, and the other one is either crossed or squinted AND crossed, or maybe just swollen shut from all the previous sneezes. Regardless, once the actual sneeze commences, both eyes shut and then you're left with red, watery itchy dragon eyes when you're done with the mini head-splosion.
Also, tissues?! Probably one of the worst parts of having to sneeze, because you never ever ever never have a tissue in hand for the nasty sneezes. You know, the yellow ones that make you look like you're the Patient Zero of the beginning of the Zombie-Flu/Cold. Yeah, those. You never have tissues for those, but for the girly, dainty ones you have them. Or you have tissues when you don't even HAVE a cold/sneezes, so you look like a twat just having a bunch of loose snot-rags floating around your purse.

Fucking Puffs.

"A nose in need, deserves puffs indeed."

Yeah, well fuck you Puffs. Where are you when I need you?! And the friggin' commercials make it seem like every person you're sitting next to has a box with the lotioned-tissues, when in reality, people are really thinking that you're an ass-monkey who should be locked in a white-roomed quarantine for wanting to spread your Yellow-Boogie-Zombie-Flu Germs.
Well, thanks. I just wanted to come to the library to study. Stop looking at me like I'm the start of the Bubonic Plague, or I swear to G-d I'll aim the next Snot-Shot at your laptop. Yeah, I will. Don't try me.

If, on the very unlikely, very off-chance that you're in the bathroom when you sneeze, you don't get tissues. You get toilet paper or paper towels, and it's NEVER the quilted, soft TP that's supposed to make your skin soft or something like that. No, it's always the harsh stuff that feels like you're wiping your nose on a piece of cardboard or steel wool.

Anyways, in case you couldn't tell from my angry, very annoyed rant, I am sick. And not like a legit, Send-me-flowers-in-the-hospital-while-I-lie-there-beautifully-and-serenely-but-terminally-ill sick. No, like a nasty, sneezy, coughy, red-eyed, my-nose-is-bleeding-because-I've-been-sneezing-so-goddamn-much, UGLY sick.

FUCKITY.

I hate sneezing only slightly less than hiccups on the general Scale of Annoying Shit My Body Does, but much more than the occasional fart.

Here's my Scale of Annoying Shit My Body Does

1. Hiccups; WHY?! Can someone please figure this out so we can get a legit cure out there, because the peanut-butter spoon ain't cutting it. I hate hiccups for the sheer reason that I get legitimately angry when they won't go away. Like, punch-a-wall angry. It's pathetic, so I hate the thing that causes it.
2. Sneezing; See above Pissy-Rant and General Bitch Fest.
3. Coughing; Ow. Seriously, if you cough a lot, sometimes you're stomach just gives up and is like, "Well fuck it, if you're going to bounce me around like this, I'm not going to break down this soup you put in me." And then you throw up. From coughing. I hate coughing. Oh also, this one time I had such a bad cough that not only was I puking, but I was puking blood because my throat was so raw from all the coughing. Hell. There's nothing worse than that, unless you had the hiccups from vomiting and somehow you were allergic to something too so you started sneezing. I think I would end up just spontaneously combusting because I'd want to die.
4. Vomiting; Aside from the fact that you can lose quite a bit of weight if you have the flu for long enough, nothing, nothing, nothing good comes from vomiting. Because after you vomit, and you look at your vomit while it's there in the toilet, you always feel like vomiting again because it's so fucking gross.
5. Menstrual Cycling; I hate my ovaries. You do too. If you're a boy, you probably hate your girlfriend's ovaries at least once a month for a week or so. Ovaries suck.
6. Peeing a little when you laugh; Only a little, and you can hide it. Still sucks a little though because either whatever was funny no longer is, or you think the peeing-episode is fucking hilarious and you laugh more, causing you to pee more. Then it sucks a lot.
7. Farting; Only for the embarrassing parts of this. Otherwise, whatever. It feels good afterward, and you know it.
8. Knuckles Cracking When You Don't Try To Make Them Crack; I just think this is stupid. I don't crack my knuckles, and I actually make it a point NOT to crack any part of my body because of the possible fluid build-up that can occur in your joints if you do it too much. So then why does my body decide, "oh hey, let's scare the shit out of her and make awful, bone-breaking noises without being ordered to" ?
I don't know.

Anyways, that's my list. What's yours?

Lots of Love (Despite the Bitch Fest),
Miss Guided-Tissue-Monster-Queen-of-Snot-Bombs

No, I don't enjoy seeing your butt. Cover it please.

2010-01-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you all, but for me, stumbleupon.com is probably the ultimate in time-wasting, pro-procrastination websites. Ever.
If you've never tried it, I highly suggest typing the address into your URL bar (preferably not before you think you're going to get started on some kind of project) and getting lost in the internet.
Here's the premise; you go to the pilot website, and click on all the "interests" that you'd enjoy reading/seeing/hearing about. After that, click "Stumble" and prepare to be amazed. You'll find some of the most hilarious articles on Cracked.com (my personal favorite), and The Oatmeal is good for a fast laugh (but only if your internet connection is super fast--this one has a tendency to take forever to load). Obviously everyone knows about The Onion, but there are a lot of other spoof-papers that can deliver a quick, work-friendly (or not so work-friendly) laugh.
There are also a lot of how-to webpages that Stumble can get for you; if, for example, you're one of the rare few people out there with an abnormal, non-24 hour sleep cycle, there's a site out there to help you "hack your brain," and make it so you can function more normally (and at a better rate sometimes) than those of us plodding through the 24-hour sleep cycle.
Believe it or not, Etsy is also included on Stumble. This surprised me because Etsy is a relatively well known site among the indie-eco-fashion-blah-blah-pretentious-blah conscious (including myself, by the way), and I figured it would be too "big" for Stumble to carry. Guess not though, which is nice because it took me to this cool store where they had nature/owl themed old-looking stuff.
I love owls. I love nature. I love old looking stuff. You can guess how that turned out.

Anyways, my nerdtastic schpiel will stop here with me urging you to go waste your life on Stumbleupon.com. It makes school so much more bearable.

Something I noticed around Bloomington (also known as wouldn't-exist-without-IU, Indiana), is that it's very, very hard to look cute, and be warm at the same time. Either you look like a bloated, burnt marshmallow, or you freeze your ass off in an adorable, entirely useless little peacoat.
Or you just look like a she-tool with a North Face jacket, a v-neck t-shirt that stops at your hips, and a pair of black leggings stuffed into your (F)Uggs.
I'm assuming/hoping no one gets offended with my last description, but please admit that your ass is cold if you do wear that outfit. Acting like it isn't cold as a witches tit while you're not wearing pants makes you look like a big ol' douche.
And no one wants that.

So, here are some Cold-As-Fuck Weather Tips for looking Cute, courtesy of Miss Guided's School of Cover-Your-Ass.

1. Get a coat that actually covers said frozen buttocks. That's the only way to make sure you don't freeze it off without resorting to padded long-johns. Which we all know is a whole lot of bad idea.
Nordstrom.com actually has a feature where you can sort by length, which is helpful. If you're tall, definitely consider a longer coat, but for the rest of us average sized and/or vertically challenged folk, try for a pant-length coat. It'll come to just about the middle or the top of your thigh.

Look how happy that model is! She's warm, probably, and her twiggy little behind is toasty and safe.
Learn from her.

Random Note; Miss Guided believes firmly and strongly that tights, leggings and the sort are NOT PANTS. Do not wear them as such and two things will happen; your butt will not freeze off and people will want to kill you less.

This coat is great in more than one way; it's the right length, an unusual color, and the horizontal seam in the middle cuts your body in just the right place where anyone can carve out a waist.
The color is great for one because the lovely eggplant hue compliments just about anyone, but its also perfect because you won't get lost in the sea of blacks, browns and the occasional white coats. Believe me, as a current (recovering) black-coat/pants/shirts/shoes addict, it's refreshing to see and have a pretty, poppy color on one piece in every part of your wardrobe.

2. PLEASE LEAVE THE LEGGINGS UNDER THE DRESSES AND SKIRTS. Please. I'm begging you. I decided to make it a full number because I think it needs that much attention. I don't want to see the contours of your butt, or your underwear. No one does. The people who do are the ones you probably want to avoid.

3. Find a coat that works for YOUR body. Just because that strange, sallow, anorexic girl that you're sitting next to in your Intro to Calculus class is wearing one of those no-shaped, ruffly, thirty-tiered monstrosities, does not mean that it can look nearly as almost-not-ugly on anyone else. It'll be uglier. And more terrifying.
If you're like almost 95% of the college population, anything with a tie-waist, darting, an A-line or a combination of the three will make you look gorgeous, warm (if it's thick, possibly lined with down or made of heavy wool with a good liner) and not-marshmallowy. Quilting is a good thing, because that usually means there will be down involved. If you must take the marshmallow approach (believe me, I have a coat that has eau de marshmallow seeped into it's quilted, downy, nylon wonderful-ness), make sure that it's a longer coat (again, pant length), and/or has lines on it that streamline or carve an hour-glass figure for you.

4. Love the coat you buy. Make sure that you're totally, 100% entirely, ecstatically in love with your coat, because then you might actually wear it. If you don't love it, you won't wear it. I promise.

5. Avoid leopard prints. Please.

Beyond all that, I wish you all a happy and safe start to the new semester (those of you who have started) and a bitter middle finger to those of you who don't start for another week, and are probably in Cabo right now soaking up cancer.

Lots of love,

Miss Guided.

Back at School, Break was Alright, and H&M needs to clean up their act!

2010-01-10T12:16:00.000-05:00

This is my city.

Well, I'm back at school and I gotta say, break was pretty nice. Just enjoying being with my family (we had a rough few months at the end of it, so we all needed to come together and regroup), friends and coworkers (I worked for the whole three weeks for this semester's spending money) was something I desperately needed. I don't know about the rest of you (if there's anyone actually reading), but three weeks was plenty and perfect.
Just enough time to realize how much I love my parents and my brother, and just enough time to realize that I love my independence now too. It's nice being able to get up for classes when I know I need to get up, and not have to worry about anyone besides my roommate in the process.
Good news, I got the class I needed to be in off the waitlist! Now, my schedule is far from perfect (two 9AM classes and the rest are 10:10s, but whatever) but it'll be nice to be finished at a normal time with an hour lunch break almost every day.

Also, being social in college is soooo much easier than it is at home. At home, you have to call, work around everyone's schedules (probably spend money that you don't want to spend), then actually get together and not forget. At school, I just have to walk across or down the hall to see my two best friends, and if we want to go "out," we basically go across the street or down the road a bit. Easy.

Now, lets talk about winter. It's cold. It's icky, and I'm definitely not a big fan. However, with winter comes the lovely phenomenon of New Years Resolution-ing. Everyone has a new years resolution, and we're all probably going to try and complete those resolutions for about a week. It's probably not going to work out, but here are three tips I've picked up about how to keep a resolution in school.

1. Start small.
This applies in almost every facet of life, not just in Resolution-ing, and not just in school. You have to start somewhere, and vowing that you're going to go to the gym and work out for 2 hours every single day is not starting small. First, go to the gym at least two times a week (first 2 or 3 weeks) and get used to picking up and going. Work out for an hour or an hour and a half doing what makes you comfortable (bikes, elliptical, track, weights, etc.) and then after that 3rd or 4th week, move on to working out every other day or 4 times a week. You'll be more likely to keep it up because your brain and body are already used to the procedure; all you have to do is motivate yourself to take the next step, and you'll be able to turn it into a habit after about 30 days of 4 times a week.

2. Don't expect a miracle.
Seriously. Do not expect to drop 15 pounds your first month, or expect to have no transgressions in whatever you're trying to do. Chances are, you will fail a little. And that's good! We learn from our mistakes. If we don't recognize and accept mistakes, how in the world would we ever make progress?! See your mistakes, try and fix the behavior/action that caused them, and move on!

3. Motivate yourself.
Have a reason for wanting what you want. Why do you want to do well in school? Why do you want to stop tanning? Why do you want to pay more attention to your friends? Make sure that you know why you're trying for something you haven't previously had, and you'll keep those reasons in your head and be able to pull them out whenever you're feeling down. Also, writing them down in any kind of journal DEFINITELY helps. I think we can all safely say that I'm a journal-person, and beyond this blog I actually keep a personal journal, a food diary, an expense ledger, and I try to keep an archive of certain outfits I've worn that have "worked." It lets me look back on previous successes (and get an ego boost in the process) and also see why certain things haven't worked so that I won't make those same mistakes. Plus, it's super therapeutic. You can rant and rave to a journal and no one will get their feelings hurt (unless they snoop, in which case they deserve to be a little humbled, and you should get a lock), and you'll be able to let it out so you don't explode on some poor unsuspecting soul on your morning commute.

Now, if waste disgusts you just as much as it annoys me, then you'll absolutely hate this. The New York Times did an article about H&M's waste of perfectly wearable clothing that highlights this issue of America's horrible laziness when it comes to recycling. We have such a horribly populous homeless community in this country, and merchandisers in urban areas are more than aware of this. I expected much better from such a prominent company, and I sincerely hope that they're going to work harder to curb this behavior from their management. It isn't hard to donate clothing (believe me, I worked in second hand retail at Plato's closet, and when people would leave their clothing behind, we'd donate it. It's easy, there are donation posts everywhere, and when I'm in Chicago, I live in the suburbs and they're still everywhere). It certainly disgusts me, and I'm going to email H&M corporate offices and ask them what exactly is being done to stop this solid waste production. If I don't get a satisfactory answer, you can bet that H&M has lost me as a customer. Feel free to join my boycott if you want. Until I see that H&M is doing its best to make sure that their unsold products are being given to those who NEED them, undamaged and in perfect condition, free of charge, I'll be taking down any and all H&M products that were listed on this site.

Here's the article!

Beyond that icky bit of news, I hope the rest of you are enjoying getting settled back in at school, and make sure that you haven't forgotten anything at home. Write a list of what you've got in your room at school when you get back, and you'll be less likely to forget stuff on your way home at the end of the semester!

Well, here's another snippet of Taylor's photography that I love. Hopefully she'll be posting more up soon, but she's heading back to school to so she'll probably be busy. :)

PhotograTay

Love you all!
Miss Guided

2009-12-17T01:14:00.000-05:00

You know, I think I hate the holiday season.
It makes me feel very nostalgic, like I missed a whole lot of life that happened when I was a kid, even though I know I was there and experienced it and have the memories. Its like it didn't last long enough to make a difference, and now I'm stuck feeling awkward if I really desperately want to go sledding down the (man-made) hill in my neighborhood at home, and no one else wants to go.
Then, there's also the fact that there are new things to do with my friends; go to parties, go to bars downtown and flirt with boys that are the same age as the cute TA back at school (and possibly are TAs themselves) and suddenly being in college doesn't matter so much.
Because despite the fact that I thought it would make all the difference in the world and make me feel new again, I just feel like I'm in another year of high school.
The boys are skeezier, the girls are sluttier, and I don't have the comfort of being able to curl up in my bed, in my room (with my locks on the door) with my books and just forget for a while. Break is good for that.

I know that's obviously not the healthiest way of looking at it, but I'm hoping it'll do for now.

Anyways, I wanted to comment on something that I'm sure a lot of you are feeling right about now; loneliness.
It can be suffocating; you know the silence right before you can drift off to sleep? The roaring dullness of no one else's breathing, and no creaks to signal some sort of sympathetic life, can sometimes be overwhelming. Sometimes its all you think about; I know I have those days.
How to get rid of it? During the holidays it can be hard; your friends are around, but they're also with their families or on vacation, and your family obviously can't fill certain voids, but you can always make yourself busy. Take on a short-term project, or get in touch with people you haven't talked to in forever.

Or--to be honest this is probably what most of us are going to do--find a temporary fix. Find a holiday-person; someone to be with and to hang out with over the break, someone who's probably looking for the same thing. Breaks and no school can do funny things to the people you'd least expect.

Anyways, happier note? My last final is tomorrow; I'm not nearly as prepared as I should be, but I think I'll end up doing alright...I hope. :)

Another note? My best friend is an absolutely phenomenal photographer, and I'm linking her here just in case there are actually people (besides her) who read this. She's a wonderful, fantastic artist and she has a ton more stuff that she has yet to put on her Flickr that will (hopefully) be up over break. Honestly, she's amazing, and you will enjoy what you see, I promise.

Here she is: PhotograTay
Short post this week! Finals and all that, plus some family issues that I'm not going to share over the internet. :)

Have a good week!
Miss Guided

2009-11-29T01:54:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, I'm posting within the same week!
This won't be long, I just want to muse a little bit about something.

Why is that we're very productive, right when it's time to go to sleep? I don't get it! I feel the most motivated to do homework/laundry, or do things that need to get done (writing, reading, exercising, etc.) around 11 or 12 at night, and it's fairly frustrating, because I know that I need to get up at o'dark thirty tomorrow morning. It's weird.

Anyways, I'm procrastinating (really, really badly) on doing my Hebrew homework, so this is what I'm doing instead.

Short, sweet, and to the point.

Also, is it bad that I'm half excited to get away from home and back to school. My parents are fairly controlling so this is a whole lot for me to deal with right now. Hopefully things will work out.

Today, I went to every place that I ever fell in love, or got my heart broken. It was oddly cathartic, and I took pictures, so I didn't have to feel guilty about forgetting. I'll always remember the bad bits, but the good parts (like the trail by the lake near my house) are starting to fade. I need to focus on the way I was wearing a white summer dress, and he grabbed my hand like it was his only lifeline to the world. I need to remember big brown eyes asking me where I thought I was going, when I tried to get back in the car without kissing him goodbye.
Or, maybe instead of focusing on the bench where a whole lot of my world fell out of the sky, I'll focus on the feeling of freedom I got this past summer, flirting with everyone and feeling beautiful, because someone was actually telling me so.

Here's a bit of advise; if he tells you that you're beautiful, keep him. If he can't express it, ask him to, and if he still can't, run in the other direction. There will be other things that he won't be able to express, and if he can't explain an attraction to you, then is he really into you in the first place? Never settle for the blase cool-guy attitude. If he makes an idiot of himself in front of you, smile and play along, and depending on his personality, either sooth or joke about it with him.

You'll know when he's treating you well; you'll feel like you're on cloud nine, and you won't make up excuses for bad birthday presents or not returning your calls, because those things won't happen (often).

Anyways, that's my rant. I'm seventeen and I've had my heart broken three times. That's three times too many, and now it's my turn to break a few.

Not really, but I want to keep my options open to people who are different, who won't be careless or too frugal with my heart or theirs.

Swear, I'm done now. :)
Love you,
Miss Guided

2009-11-27T21:18:00.001-05:00

Aren't I awful? Seriously, I need to get my act together.
To be honest, I didn't expect for college to be this...much.

It's a lot to deal with, and I'm doing the best I can, but sometimes our best doesn't reach the threshold of "necessary." I'm working hard to meet it though, so we'll see how that goes.

Here's my helpful hint of the day (that I need to start following), when you get a syllabus, make sure to assign yourself reading AHEAD of time, and make sure you get it done when you assign it. I can say quite safely that reading is the number one priority for me since it takes so much time, and is so important for passing classes.
Don't worry though, I'm not failing (not even close, actually) and I've got good grades. In fact, I just got a strange email from the Residential Programs and Services offices saying that there was a special floor of the apartment housing on campus reserved for Honors College Students.

Now, this was strange for me, not because of the whole new apartment buildings thing, but because I didn't know I was apparently in the Honors College. I have to double check with them and make sure its not a typo--which I'm halfway convinced it is--or a bad email, but it'd be pretty cool if it were true. Regardless, my goal is to get into the Psych Honors Fraternity, so we'll see how everything else turns out.

Hm, onto relationships? I think so.

My love life? Dead. Yours? Probably not so much.
Here's the thing, if you don't party a ton and don't drink until oblivion, it's really hard to meet "nice guys" or even just guys in general. To date, I've only met a handful of mildly interesting guys outside of parties, and I don't want to start anything (dating, hooking up, FWB, etc.) with someone I met at a party. There's one or two guys that I've met in classes, but I'm not even mildly interested in them because they've both made it abundantly clear that they are "party boys."

I'm not a party girl, in case you couldn't tell. I prefer a book, a movie, or a ridiculous adventure to going out and getting smashed. Not to say I don't, but only in moderation (I don't get blotto) and I'll never try anything irresponsible (driving drunk, drunk dialing, drunk hooking up, etc.) that'll get me into huge amounts of trouble.

Now here's the million dollar question. Why can't all men be Mr. Darcy? He was moody and unsightly and not really the handsomest guy ever (according to the book, the actor in the movie was adorable in a not-perfect-but-still-a-little-good-looking-in-a-"doesn't-care" sort of way), but he was respectful and kind and WASN'T AFRAID TO ARGUE. That's a huge turnoff when the guy agrees with EVERYTHING you say and doesn't actually have an opinion of his own. Or when he's just kind of "well I'm too cool to have an opinion on politics, so I'm not going to discuss them with you, partially because I think the less I talk, the less you'll talk, and the more likely it'll get that I'll get lucky."
Really. I've dated that. More than once.

Or what about the guys you see already attached? Ever notice that the girls are either A) drop dead gorgeous, B) A and/or also very very intelligent, or C) A combination of A and B or one of them, plus having a ridiculous sense of humor. You can't help hating them, but you can't because they're so gosh darn nice. It's really very frustrating.

I'm trying to keep a good outlook on things. It's only first semester, I don't need a relationship right now, I need to concentrate on friends and grades and family and blahblah blahty blah.

I should listen to my own advice more often, but I try not to listen to fools.

Lets see...ooohhhh. Holiday shopping. Now, I'm Jewish, but I call it Holiday shopping because, to be honest, a small minority of my friends are also Jewish, and we rarely exchange gifts.

Anyways, gifts for friends? Lucky Mag (I need to stop quoting them) did a gift spread, and it was pretty good, but it didn't distinguish anything for those of us who have to pay for school/books/EVERYTHING on top of the hols.

The Best Friend: Something personal. It doesn't have to be horribly expensive, but make it matter. Make it be something you know she'll get a kick out of, because it's an inside joke, or something you know she's wanted since forever. Or make it yourself. Ideas? Bookworms, don't get them books; get her a journal, or a book diary, then make a list of books you think she'll like, plus maybe adding them in there. Sports fans? Instead of that Jersey, how about two tickets to a game? Music addicts? Make him a mix CD, but add your own recordings of your voice telling a funny story, then tag on maybe his favorite CD, or a cool vintagey clock radio.
The Acquaintance: A nice card, and some candy or nice chocolate is nice for a girl, but for a boy that you agreed to exchange gifts with (rare, but hey, some people do it) maybe get him an inexpensive techy-gizmo or a new scarf. Believe me, boys are starting to get more into scarves as time goes on, and I've had more than one friends say that he wants one, but is too embarrassed to actually buy one. Boys are weird, but we have to indulge them sometimes, right?
The Significant Other: Similar to the best friend, but maybe for your man, get him something that the two of you can use/do together. Is he an adrenaline junkie? Skydiving lessons, and tag yourself on there with him. Actually, an increase in endorphins is directly linked to a better love life, because people are attracted to others who do things with them, and the increase in endorphins are going to make you happy. He'll connect the happy feeling with you, and who knows, things could get very happy afterward. ;)
The Parent: You know your parents. You don't need me to tell you what to get them! Unless your father is like mine, and throws down the cop-out "All I want for Hanukkah is my family's love and blah blah blah," in which case, good luck and let me know when you figure out what the hell to get him.

On my personal shopping list?
Best friend? Inside joke gift (it would embarrass her if I put it up here), and a combination photo album (a few pics of us inside) plus journal. She likes to write and read, so I'm also going to get her a book-review diary. Hopefully she doesn't read this. :)
Mommy? I'm going in to get her something nice when we go shopping for my birthday.
Daddy? A lisence plate cover for his car from his Alma Mater.
Brother? LOTSA MUSIC. I need to figure him out still, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

Everyone else? Cards and candy. :)

For me? Well, I'd like this pair of boots.

They're practical and pretty. Two of my favorite words. Anyways, they're Steven Boots, Frencchh.

Also, here's my big dilemma for the holidays.
PARTY DRESSES.
Love it. Okay, well lets just say I have a dress thing. I love them. I love the swingy-twirly-girly wonderful feeling you get when you get into a dress you feel sexy in. And my mission this winter is to get that, in one dress!

Here are some options, and what's so wonderful about each of them!

THE L.B.D. (Little Black Dress)
Alright, so this first one seems simple, right? RIGHT! That's the point! Despite the fact that the model looks miserable (if I were that thin, I'd be pretty pissy too), the dress itself can take on a few extra embellishments that other, more vibrant dresses can't take. Maybe a few cute chunky gold bracelets, and a pair of scalloped, fun tights, a cute pair of warm booties, and she's set for party-hopping!

Okay, so I have a thing for lace, as you'll begin to see with this dress and the next few. But I can't help it! This is one of the only embellishments that can be so classy and sexy at the same time. Sometimes with certain materials (mesh, tulle, etc.) you get a certain vibe (prostitute, prom queen, etc.) that may not be positive. I like lace because it's going to give you a cool, contemporary but classic feel; very Audrey Hepburn, I think. Also, this dress specifically has some good details. The single pleat in the center of the skirt is forgiving of wider hips or thighs, and the lace at the top of the dress can cover up a fuller bust (if you're modest) or give a girl with a smaller chest a bit of a mysterious-sexy sort of boost.

Again, the lace. This one is a little harder since it is so form fitting, but if you're comfortable with your waist and hips, this is a good dress to have. The longer sleeves contrast the short hemline, and give you more modesty on top. Always good to tease, never to leave nothing to the imagination. This doesn't need tons of accessories, and if you're cold, throw on a pair of opaque black tights and heels, or maybe (if you're daring) a pair of scalloped or designed tights, and a pair of tough ankle boots. Very chic. An asymmetrical leather jacket is always great over lace.

This one is so sweet! It's showing just enough skin through the holes so that you don't need to worry about the higher neckline being a little marm-ish. I like the way it hits too. Not everyone can wear a baby-doll hemline, so it's good that designers are throwing variety in there. You don't need anything really crazy to go with this, maybe black tights (really, it gets COLD) and a pair of cute, but not too-tall heels. The hemline is short, and it'll look even shorter the higher your heel.

This is the L.P.D. Little Purple Dress. Every girl should have one (this is on the top of my list this year as well) and it's a great staple. The fabric is such that you can go from day to night, adding or subtracting accessories and a cardigan (work appropriate) or a cute pair of sky-high heels.
Last, but my favorite! This dress is gorgeous and has everything going for it. The lines are wonderful (since it ties in at the center, but above your waist, it slims you from that point down, and draws the eye inward and up) and the asymmetrical hemline is great if you're a little uncomfortable with your thighs. It shows just enough to be sexy, but not so much to make you squirm. Also, the sweetheart strapless neckline is a great addition, definitely if you have a smaller bust!

I think that's all I've got for now, and as usual, I hope I update more often!
Love,
Miss Guided

SORRYY!!!!

2009-09-07T14:34:00.000-04:00

Here I am, apologizing all over again for things that I promise and never live up to. I really am sorry (to whoever is actually reading this trash), but things this past month or so have gotten very hectic. I'm sure those of you who have started classes know exactly what I'm talking about; homework can take from 2 to 8 hours a night (I actually spent all day Sunday in the library studying for one class), and add on the every day stress and also the special type of stress I've been dealing with...well it's anyone's guess as to how long it's going to take me to crack.

General Stuff? I've been making tons of new friends. I don't know about you all, but I've noticed that Freshmen tend to be the friendliest groups of people. Sophomores think they know it all about the campus and are too high up on the food chain to speak to lowly freshman (actually, the word "sophomore" means "thinks he is clever" or something of that sort; a very egotistical kind of connotation), and Juniors and Seniors for the most part live off campus so they're really not mixing too much outside their already-established groups of friends. This whole freshman-friendly syndrome is sort of a good thing and a bad thing, but I'm definitely enjoying the benefits. It's easy to meet people because everyone's super eager to make friends. Everyone is in the same boat; alone in a sea of new people, and it's scary and exciting and to be honest, we're all feeling the same thing.

Good news is, some people are handling the stress better than others (I am one of the "others"). Learn from the people who seem patient, calm, and on top of their work. They probably do all their homework during the day, and have a good time at night when everyone's around socializing. They're also probably exercising at least 3 times a week for at least an hour each time. Staying healthy is a huge stressor (especially on people ages 16-25), and it'll make you feel better to actually be doing something about being stressed.
The theme of this is basically time management; you need to be able to prioritize and allocate time slots to things that need to happen.
Here's a little starter list of things that most people need to do on a daily/weekly basis, and an estimate of how much time to spend on each thing. Make your own to-do list if you're ever feeling overwhelmed, and you may find that you haven't really got as much as you think to be worried about.

Laundry (once a week, it usually takes anywhere from 2-3 hours; do this at the same time as monotonous reading. You'll learn/absorb more because you break every 30-45 minutes to switch loads, and you'll be able to recharge and come back after thinking about what you last finished.)
Homework (every day; depending on your course load it can take from 3-8 hours. Multi-task! You can do laundry and do homework at the same time! Studies show that for every credit hour you spend in class, you should spend 2 hours studying that material and the supplementary reading. 16 Credit Hours a week? 32 hours of studying. It sounds like a lot but if you split it up it's really not too much to handle. Besides, weekends during the day are slow, and you have plenty of down time to get things done during the week.)
Extracurricular activities (I've only been at school for half a semester, and I've already joined a very time consuming club. I'm really excited about it, but it's definitely going to be a lot of work. My schedule usually pans out so I've got a meeting for something--maybe my scholarship program, or for a club, or for a study group, etc--every night, for about an hour to an hour and a half each. Make sure you get what needs to be done, finished BEFORE you go to your extracurricular if possible.)
Relaxing (It sounds like it'll be easy to take time away, but really, I get maybe an hour each day to just take a step back. Make sure you set aside time for a nap, or just to mess around on facebook or read a book for fun, at least every other day.)
Working out and staying healthy (Eat at least once every five hours, and try to get in about an hour of exercising 4 times a week, or even every day if you can fit it in.)
Being Social (Weekends are good for this. At night, go out and have fun, but during the day, make sure you get your work done.)

That's all I've got for now, but I'm hopefully going to be posting more often now that I've got a set schedule going on!

Love,
Miss Guided

Here at last!

2009-08-22T23:51:00.000-04:00

First of all, let me apologize for taking so long to put this post up. I know I definitely should have since it was the first day and all, but seriously I've been so busy/bored-busy that I haven't even been able to enjoy the peace and quiet of my dorm.

And that's where you get confused, right? Because I'm in a dorm, and my life is supposed to be loud and hectic and crazy and just all around insane. Well, here's the thing, I got a scholarship a few weeks back that lets me come to school early (which I obviously jumped at) to be a "community leader" (aka floor-bitch). It's been pretty chill (people say that word a lot, "chill") and there's really not too much to do since no one's here yet.

One good thing? I was able to organize myself and get my things settled into my room without another person taking up just as much space as I was at first (I tried as hard as I could to divide the room equally). It was low-key and easy and it makes me glad I moved in early.

Helpful hint; make a list as soon as you've unpacked of things you're going to need to get on campus. My biggest things to get are power strips and extension cords. There aren't enough plugs to do anything with, and I keep having to pick and choose what I want to keep plugged in. It's a pain.

Good tip to make yourself feel moved in (even if you aren't 100% unpacked) is to put your wall art or whatever decoration you want up as soon as you can. It gives the room a personalized feel and makes things a little brighter than a white-washed jail cell.

Unfortunately, I'm exhausted so I'm going to have to make this post short. I'll definitely make up for it soon, but you're going to have to give me a little time to adjust.

Goodnight for now!

Miss Guided

It's in your Jeans

2009-08-19T18:26:00.000-04:00

So I took a little impromptu trip to the mall today to blow off some steam (window shopping, people, I'm too poor to actually BUY anything just yet), and I decided to check out exactly what it was about Gap that has the "elite" fashion world in an uproar. I'm mildly addicted to reading Lucky Magazine's blog (mostly Cat Marnell's, because she seems like a generally awesome person from her writings, and because she's got a very poignant outlook on how people use products and choose what to buy), and I always see things about the perfect pair of jeans. So, I went on a search..

(Random good news, apparently I've lost quite a bit of weight, because I went down to a size 3/4 from the 5/6 or 7/8 that I was earlier this summer. I don't know how or why, but I am not complaining. I'm a fan of having a flat tummy. :) )

I can't say I found the perfect pair, but I did realize a few things about the current trends going on, and I'll share my findings with all (none) of you.

Number One: Boyfriend Jeans are HARD.

Cute, but very hard to wear. Case in point? My thighs.
Now, I'm not super duper hippy, nor am I twig-esque; I'm average. This trend is incredibly hard for me to wear because the jeans will always have some sort of whiskering around the thighs or fading from the top of the thigh to the inner/outter leg. Obviously, that'll make my legs appear much thicker than they actually are. I'm not a fan of this. No girl is.
Your best bet with this style is to try and find a pair that's a darker wash, and slimmer through the leg than the standard baggy jean. Also, make sure it folds up and looks good with a pair of heels IN THE DRESSING ROOM. My mistake was that I wore flats and didn't bring a pair of heels with me, and that made me look even shorter than I am (nearly impossible, since I barely top 5'3").

Number Two: The Super-Skinny Jean is Easy.

Believe it or not, this trend is a go-to for pretty much anyone. If your curvy or thin or short or tall, you CAN make this work. I promise.
For curvier girls, if you like your hips and want to show them off, these jeans are a great way to do that while still being modest. Make sure the fit around the waist is snug and fits at or above your hip bone so there's no extra room in the waistband, but so that there's also not any "muffin-top" action going on. Throw on a loose peasant top and you're good to go. If you want to balance your bottom half, make sure the top is a little loose, but not too voluminous. As always, a good pair of heels makes your legs look super gorgeous with just the right amount of curve. The over-the-knee boots that are beginning to hit stores now are also great ways to balance your curves.
For those of you who are tall and slim, these jeans are obviously a great way to show off your mile-long legs. The boot trend is a great idea for you as well, since the skinny fit will obviously go right into the boot, making your legs seem even slimmer while adding some interest along the way. You'll get the up-down look like you wouldn't believe. However, stay away from heels with these jeans if you're tall. It'll only make your legs look severe, and chances are that you don't want that. Throw on a pair of flat boots like I was saying earlier, or maybe a cute pair of gladiator sandals.

Also, Cat Marnell in her little blog thing was right; there's this Coconut trend going on with lotions right now, and the Body Shop got it right. Like I said, I'm poor right now, but I've got perpetually dry skin and as soon as I get my paycheck I'm investing in one of those tubs of body-butter. And maybe their lip balm.
Surprisingly enough, when I was in the Body Shop today, I didn't find any face SPF. None. It was weird, and I'm not a happy camper. Any suggestions? My next stop is Kiehl's, but they're very expensive and I'll have to eBay it up for that one.

Until next time!

Miss Guided

P.S. I leave for school tomorrow! I'm so excited! I'm all packed, and I'll be posting pictures of the insanity of my living room right now (the living room is my current storage unit, and my mother is positively thrilled that it can go back to "living" status once my stuff is gone).

Skin-Care Obsessed

2009-08-19T00:40:00.000-04:00

I can tell you right now that I am obsessed with one day having "perfect" skin. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, first impressions are the most important ones you'll make, and your skin is often the first thing people will look at.
I've had issues with my skin since before I hit puberty. I started wearing make-up young (BAD IDEA) and thus clogged my pores at an early age; I've been making up for that mistake ever since.
I've been on almost every topical and anti-biotic anti-acne medication available, and I've only ever had minimal results (because I'm flaky...). Recently, I got so tired of having acne-prone, dull skin that I considered making an emergency appointment with my dermatologist and having him put me on Acutane (the most potent, dangerous acne fighter on the market) before I went to school.
Then, I came to my senses.

I've been so terrified by the Acutane-mess before now that I didn't even want to think about going near it again. I decided I'd try Retinoids ONE more time to see if I got results from a super-vigilant regimen.

Here's my process: Every other day, apply pea-size drop of Retin-A Micro (pump) to entire face; moisturize 20 minutes later after product sinks in. Every day, scrub face twice with acne-fighting scrub with salicyilc acid; once in the morning, once at night. Moisturize 20 minutes later.
Only use make-up that is oil free, use sunscreen EVERY day (at least SPF 15), apply as little foundation as possible, and after swimming, moisturize.

I'm also going to try and keep my intake of fried or processed foods down, since diet can affect skin tone. I want to start eating more raw veggies (how I'm going to pull that off on campus, I have no idea, but I suppose I'll be making good use of any and all salad bars) and eat more foods with Omega 3's (ie: nuts).
This is going to be hard, but it's been something I've struggled with since I was way too young, and I'm done with having to hide my skin behind layers of make-up.

Wish me luck!

Miss Guided

The best, easiest, most flattering outifts that I found in Wicker Park

2009-08-18T18:56:00.000-04:00

Alright, now I'm posting these a little late. They're from my trip to Wicker Park earlier this summer, and I haven't gotten around for them for one reason or another, so here they are now. I really really love these because they're sort of a starting point for the "fashion" portion of this blog. Yes, the stuff is ridiculously over-priced, but the thing is that each and every single one of these outfits can be made with staples that you've probably already got in your closet.

Number One: The Day-to-Night Outfit

I love this sort of look. The easy silhouette of the dress is smartened up by a crisp denim jacket, and laced with whimsical accessories. The only thing I would change would be the belt; make it a little more low-key with a thin brown leather belt (sort of keeping with the rustic theme of the whole thing), and instead of buckling it neatly, sort of knot it up after you've slipped it through the hole. It's a great way to do not-trying-too hard while still looking amazing. Very good shopping outfit because it slips on and off easier, and the more rumpled you look, the better it comes off.
The belt nips in your waist, and even if you're a little thick around the middle, the thicker material of the dress creates flattering shadows that give the illusion of a smaller tummy. Also, since you've got the jacket on, the 3/4 sleeves make your arms look toned; you can only see the slimmest part of your arm. Very flattering, super easy, and perfect if you need to switch from day to night. Switch out the denim for a more form-fitting blazer, and add a few pieces of jewelry. Good summer/fall style tip: Clutches are wonderful. They're so easy to carry around, and they keep perpetual pack-rats (like myself) from carrying too much around with them. Plus, they go day to night, no additions/subtractions necessary.

Number Two: The Gypsy Summer Dress

This dress has everything going on for it, and I mean EVERYTHING. First, it's a flattering cut. The empire waistline is perfect for practically every body type, and the substitute of a sleeveless shoulder instead of little tiny straps makes it easier to wear for those of you with a little extra baggage on top; no pesky bra straps showing! I've heard from a lot of my bustier friends (I'm personally a card carrying member of the Itty-Bitty-Titty Committee) that one of their biggest pet peeves for summer are dresses that don't have thicker straps; strapless dresses and these super-revealing strappy-shouldered sun-frocks have been all the rage this summer, so I hope this dress will be a bit of a relief. It's also great for those of us with smaller assets because the filmy material will add just a bit of bulk in that area.
The handkerchief hem is also VERY forgiving; since the dress nips in just underneath the bust, it silhouettes a very slim part of your body (for pretty much anyone) and if you're a little hippy or have a thicker waist (like me) it skates over your curves and sort of smoothes everything out. (I've got this beef with my body; there's this weird little indent between my hips and my thighs, and it makes my legs look much bigger than they actually are, but in this dress, you can't see it. :) )
Your legs will look AMAZING in this because of the length (just at or above the knee, give or take a few inches); it highlights the slimmest part of your calves because of the staggered hemline.
Definitely notice the jewelry here (it was actually the first thing that drew me to this outfit); the snake pendant is unique and very luxe looking, and it would look very gaudy if you were to put on anything more than that. With busier dresses like this one, it's best to have one stand out piece of jewelry (a bunch of bangles OR a big pendant necklace OR long drop earrings, etc) and leave everything else alone. More IS less in this case. However, if the dress were just a plain black, I would definitely suggest adding the bangles, and the earrings, and keeping the necklace.
All in all, a great outfit to wear pretty much anywhere, but I definitely see this as a first-date to a nice-ish casual restaurant thing to wear.

Number Three: Chic Utility

Here's a no-brainer; you are going to need a laptop, and hey, you're also going to need a laptop bag. Yes, there are some pretty brightly colored ones you can get at Best-Buy, etc, but if you're looking to splurge on something, this is the thing to do it on. You're going to use it every day, and it will serve a very important purpose; keeping your laptop (which pretty much holds your life in it if you're anything like me) safe. The cases on the top have a fuzzy lining to keep things clean, and lots of padding just in case you drop the bag. Added, you'll never mix yours up with someone else's because yours is just so gosh darn unique. :)

The picture on the bottom has a lot going on, so lets break it down a bit. The bag in front is the perfect example of what you're going to want for classes (if you want to skip the backpack deal). It's huge, and brightly colored (easy identification if you leave it somewhere), and it's got a shoulder strap. Throw it on your back if you ride a bike (which I suggest, since walking takes too long and most schools are getting to be very biker-friendly), or casually stroll with it from class to class. Also, the leather looks and feels like butter; I don't know about you guys, but I'm a sucker for well worn in leather. It's soft and amazing and it ALWAYS looks good with whatever you're wearing. Besides, burnt orange is a gorgeous color for fall.
To be honest, the bag on the left is sort of blah, but I checked inside it, and it's got a bunch of slots for pens, cords, phones, iPods, etc.; serves as an impromtu (if rather barely insulated) laptop bag.

And scarves? Come on people, you were there last year when all anyone had to do to spice up a plain white t-shirt and a pair of slouchy jeans was throw on a colorful scarf and voilà, you're done! Easy and functional; in fact, when it gets colder, layer them for extra coziness and extra style. I read in Elle Magazine the other day that layering scarves is a great way to add a bunch of punchy colors to an otherwise drab outfit.

That's pretty much it! Tell me what you all think!

Love you! (please let someone be there...)

Miss Guided

2009-08-18T00:12:00.000-04:00

And here we are, about two days from move in, and I'm sort of completely packed. As I said in the last few posts, I'm a list-er, and I'm holding true to my habits by making a list of every clothing item that I've brought, and every single other piece of crap that I've (over)packed. What have you all packed so far?

I recently went to a cute little town with my mother (a spur of the moment bonding time) called Geneva (not Lake Geneva, just Geneva), and I found the most wonderful thing in the world.
An antique shop; but not just any old antique shop, a beautifully cluttered one, with reasonably priced knick-knacks, books, jewelry, old toys, furniture, etc. It was amazing.

I'm a little bit obsessed with old books, in case you couldn't tell, but here's the thing about them; they're useful, and they're great decoration. My mother has a book she bought purely because the title was pretty and the binding looked ancient; I recently started collecting them (and by collecting I mean I've got one book thus far), and to be honest, the hunt is the best part. If I had any money whatsoever, I'd totally buy this Hardy Boy's set. I've noticed with collections though, it's best to narrow your search. I'm currently looking for anything by the Bronte sisters (ie; Jane Eyre, my favorite book).

In other news, I'm currently coveting two things; one, a shrunken blazer with 3/4 length sleeves, preferably one button only and a little loose. The other? Perfect skin. I've had so many issues with mine over the years that I'm almost to the point where I've given up. I've tried over the counter EVERYTHING, and pretty much every prescription (topical and antibiotic) that you could think of, and so far, I've had very minimal results. The one thing I haven't tried and am very reluctant to is Acutane because I've been terrorized by tales from friends who have been on it; problems like urinary tract infection, yeast infections, etc...I just don't want any part in that. However, if my skin keeps this insanity up, I'm heading back to my derm to see what he says.

Right now, I'm on Retin-A Micro, so we'll see how that works...

Until next time! (Which will probably be on the way to moving in!!!!!!!!)

Love you all (there's probably no one reading anyways...)

Miss Guided

2009-08-11T13:37:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting here at work and I can safely say that I'm thrilled that I won't be working here anymore. I hate looking through dirty clothes. Esp. underwear.

eBay, Roommates and Lists, Oh My!

2009-08-10T23:42:00.000-04:00

Here's a new post, just because I want to. :) Hopefully this whole regular thing will work out.

What to talk about...? Hm...well, I just started my foray into the magical world of eBay. I've never been so overwhelmed before, but I suppose it's for the best that I start. I need to find cheap ways to satisfy designer cravings.

It's funny, because before last year, I never considered myself a fashion lover. I mean, I liked to look good, and I liked to have nice things (not that I or my family can afford them...but resale shops have become worlds better than they once were) but it was never a big part of my life. Now, I've begun toying with the idea that it may not be a horrible thing to love/work on. Regardless, I'm sticking with my 11 year plan.

Yes, that's right, you read it correctly. ELEVEN.

One-One.

It makes me cringe just thinking about it, but I know I can do it. Right? Everyone has things that they want to do, and everyone has goals. Are anyone else's goals as long term as mine? I hope so...

Enough with the heavy stuff. Onto fun things!

Well, there's a 10 day count down until I hit the road. Here's a quick list of what you folks should be doing if you've got the same amount of time left.

Make sure you're collaborating with your roommate and figure out who's bringing what.
START PACKING. Get the things that you're not going to need for the next few days into suitcases or storage or something, but get them out of the way. Having a cleaner room will make you feel more ready to get out.
Get rid of old clothes. If you haven't already cleaned out your closet, you should, and you should also think of selling them to a resale or consignment store for cash to get a good jumpstart on your new clothing. I actually work at one such place, Plato's Closet, and you should DEFINITELY consider selling there. They don't give you a ton of money, but it's better than nothing. Check the website for more info/stores near you. platoscloset.com
Make a list. I am a list advocate (in case you couldn't tell) and I seriously have like 4 or 5 that have to do with moving in/out. Make one for the clothes you want to bring/just plain want eventually, make one for what you need to have "stuff-" wise, make one for things you want to ask your roommate, etc. Seriously. It'll help your brain compartmentalize the issues going on right now and you'll feel a million times less stressed.
Get to know people that go to your school now, or will be going. I swear by Facebook. You're school WILL have a group. I promise. If it doesn't, tell me. Or better yet? Go make one yourself.
Have fun and say goodbye to all your home-friends! You're going to miss them!

Here's a little personal story of my own. I have a friend, someone I've been close to since the first day of our freshman year of high school with us sitting next to each other on the bus and being nervous and dorky about it. He has seen me through weight loss, and boy problems and friend problems and like 3 or 4 school dances. We're close. Anyways, recently I've noticed that his "friends" (we don't hang out in the same groups anymore) are very very much stuck in "high school mode."

What I mean by that is that they refuse to let go of the whole idea of drama being their only way to socialize. Girls are catty to one another, boys are backstabbing jerks...its one big mess made by eight or nine people who refuse to let go of lame stereotypes or are just plain scared of moving ON.

Anyways, the point of this story is that my friend is miserable. He hates being caught in the middle (he's more of an instigator than a participant) but he doesn't want to sever his ties because--here's the kicker--HE'S ROOMING WITH A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. One from the group.

Now, I don't care if you and your friend have been best buds since you were in diapers. You probably haven't ever lived together. You may end up hating each other. I hope you don't, and I know a lot of people who have gone through the rooming-as-bffs thing and have still been close, but it will be hard and it will probably suck at times. It will probably suck more because your bff KNOWS your buttons and knows when to push them if she/he wants to piss you off.

Obviously, it's going to suck with a roommate at times anyways, but here are some helpful hints to make it more bearable.

If you can, go potluck or by survey or with someone you meet at orientation. Rooming with a close friend is like asking for a disaster. You don't want to TRY to ruin your friendship! Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that trash.
If you cannot live without your bffae (best friend forever and ever) as your constant companion, schedule "alone time" every three days for at least an hour at a time. You'll want it.
If you get to the room first on move in day, DON'T claim all the best parts of the room! It's rude and it sets a bad tone. You may, however, lay your stuff on a bed. Don't start un-packing personal things until your roommate gets there. Get your microwave/fridge/rug/lamp, etc set up, or maybe go out and see who else is on your floor and get to know them while you wait.
If you move in early, like I am, you're going to have to unpack, but an easy way to make this more polite is to make sure that the first thing you say to your roommate on the day she moves in (after the "hellos" and "its so nice to finally meet you") is that you're totally okay with moving things around and you just put your stuff down for the transitory period.
Follow through with all promises to be flexible.
Don't crowd her. If she crowds you, spend less time in the room and more time in the library.
Don't steal her clothes unless she says explicitly that it's alright. Also, KEEP THEM VERY CLEAN.
If you borrow, let her borrow too.
Split food costs.
Enjoy her/him. They're going to be a big part of your life this year, and it can go a number of different ways. Make the best of any situation, and find the good parts about your roomie. She/He will have some excellent traits, no matter how weird they may seem at first.

In other news, I hate my job, and am so happy that I am done with it in 4 days. You really have no idea.

Helpful hint; NEVER WORK RETAIL. Unless the discount proves to be too tempting to resist, in which case the blood, sweat and tears are all worth it.

Alright, that's all I've got for now...I think?

Goodnight!

Miss Guided

As Promised...

2009-08-09T14:11:00.000-04:00

Alright, so here's the post you've been promised!

Now, for those of you who live around the city of Chicago, you've probably been to the Lincoln Park Zoo, the Mag Mile, the Bean, and so many of the other kitchy tourist attractions. You've also probably been bored to tears by most of them after an hour. A lot of the tourist industry in Chicago depends on these landmarks, but I've learned that the best places for actual shopping are the places the locals go.

The locals LOVE Wicker Park. It's this alterna-hip area of Chicago right off the blue line that serves as the thrumming pulse of fashion in the city. I went here with a friend a few weeks ago, and as you can see from some of these pictures, everyone has a great sense of humor and they all make the most of the harsher economic times, making the atmosphere playful and energetic.

One of my favorite stores was Stitch (online at stitchchicago.com); they had an array of really eclectic stuff from utilitarian briefcases to cute bohemian-inspired laptop bags and a ton of well made furniture and other accessories. A lot of their stuff was very high priced though, so if you do go in, make sure to brace yourself.

If you're looking to avoid the splurge, there are also a TON of resale stores in the area (known to the locals as Bucktown; on the maps it'll come up as Wicker Park). All down North Ave and Damen, there are a ton of cute hole-in-the-wall shops with steals that you wouldn't believe. Lucky Magazine actually did a spread about one of the resale stores down there that specializes in Cowboy Boots (real, honest to goodness, beautifully made and beat-up-just-right cowboy boots) and I went to check it out. It turns out that I was misled by the magazine in thinking that the boots would be at resale prices because they were at a resale store, but it made for pretty, rustic decoration nonetheless. The boots ranged anywhere from $150 to $500.

Also, go into the store that says that it's really boring. It literally says that it's "really boring" on the outside. I swear, you need to go in, it's such a trip.

If you guys are into art-deco, I would also check out this AMAZING little chinese gallery; it's got furniture and beautiful household items all over the place. Obviously a little over priced, but very fun to browse in.

Now, that's going to conclude this post; I want to keep them shorter now just so that I can make actually getting these up more regular.

Is anyone reading, by the way? Drop a line, something...let me know that you're there!

Love you, whoever you are!

Miss Guided

delayed. :(

2009-08-08T16:00:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone! Sorry it’s taken me such a long time to send this post, but a lot has been going on in my life. I recently found out that I’ll be heading to school two weeks early (instead of the mandatory one week early for Welcome Week) to start training for a “Community Leaders” program that gets me $1,500 a year off of my rooming costs.

Helpful hint: I don’t care how much time you may have to put aside for training stuff, if an opportunity like that comes along, no matter if it sounds lame or sounds like its not going to be fun, take it. You’re going to make friends and network your way through the system. It’ll make it easier for you to climb into leadership positions all around campus if you start small. Mine is through my dorm, and the selection is based off of experience. Your might be merit based, or athletic, or academic based; whichever, you’re going to have something to give to it.

Okay! Onto the real post! I’m just going to list what you should have all packed up, just to make sure. Check out Bed, Bath and Beyond (can you tell I like that place?) for good deals and a good amount of variety for stuff like this. Target is also a great place, especially since their storage options are A) a bit cuter/more colorful than BB&B and B) about ten bucks cheaper.

Towels (probably a good idea to have at least 2 face towels and 2 body towels. I’m bringing 4 with me though, because I know my own laundry habits, and to be honest, they aren’t pretty)

Robe

SHOWER FLIP FLOPS (do I really need to explain to you all the nastiness of communal showers?)

Shower Caddy (don’t leave your stuff in the bathroom unattended; it will not be there when you come back for it)

Toiletries (soap [please], shampoo, conditioner, squeegee sponge, razor, shaving cream, etc.)

Laundry Caddy (I know this isn’t technically bathroom-related, but I think I forgot it in the last post.)

Now, onto study materials.

Okay, those of you on PCs right now are probably going to want to kill me, but to be honest, I don’t care. If you are still in the market for a new laptop, make the plunge, and get a Mac. I recently made the switch from PC to Mac, and I’m telling you right now that I am never going back. I have never, not once, had an issue with my computer (I’ve had it since the beginning of June), and I can tell you right now that its unlikely that you will. It’s solid, and if you’re going into the Arts (ie; Film, Studio, Photography, etc.), you’re obviously going to want one of these. Even if you’re not, it’s got every single organizational tool known to mankind, and all of them work efficiently and coordinate with each other. I’m also a Blackberry user, and I had so many issues hooking my phone to my computer to transfer music, my addresses, my schedule, etc when I used a PC (a dell, if you must know), but there’s this nifty little application you can download for free on the blackberry website that syncs perfectly for Macs (it’s called PocketMac for Blackberry). Needless to say, I’m in love, and you will be too.

Okay, now I’m serious; we’re talking about study and more bedroom stuff now.

You’re going to want a desk lamp; I don’t know about you all, but I took one look at my soon-to-be home and thought immediately of prison. It’s dark, there’s very very little natural light, and the tiny light on our ceiling barely works. I can tell you right now that Indiana University is not known for having state-of-the-art dorm room lighting.

So, it’s recommended that you get a few different types of lighting. If you hit your head on the ceiling every morning upon awakening (ie: if you’re on the top bunk) then you may want to invest in a clamp-light. I went to camp a lot when I was a kid, and one of the best things to have on the top bunk was one of these things because it doesn’t bug your roommate/bunkmate, and it gives you the perfect amount of personal light to finish whatever it is you need to finish. Or start. Another light is going to be a stand up floor light, and obviously a desk lamp.

Something I learned when I was overseas (quick synopsis; I lived in a dorm-room situation in Israel for 5 months when I was a junior in high school), and when I lived in D.C. (quicker synopsis; leadership program, one dorm, three girls, one mirror, pure hell) is that its very easy to let yourself laze around during the day when there’s nothing to do, then socialize at night, and then scramble to finish last minute projects in the wee hours. Something I also learned while away is that THAT’S A REALLY BAD IDEA. You end up doing a crappy job on whatever you’re working on, and you’re cranky and tired the next day. It sucks, it’s a bad idea, do your homework during the day during breaks, hang out and do whatever at night, and please, get some sleep.

Beyond lighting and getting sleep, you’re going to want your laptop accessories (charger, sleeve, bag, etc.), a few notebooks, and lots of highlighters. Write in your textbooks, highlight in them, do whatever; you bought them, they’re yours to do with as you please. However, if you plan on selling them back to your local campus bookstore, then keep it neat if you can. Beyond tangible things, your most important asset is going to be a “comfort spot.” For me, at home, it’s always been our dining room table. It’s a quiet, low traffic area of the house, there are no distractions like there are in my room (ie; my bed, my computer, etc.). In Israel, it was the kitchen table in my dorm; although it wasn’t low-traffic or low-distraction, it was a place to spread out with fewer people around. See a pattern? Try and find a place with space, that has a relatively quiet, calm atmosphere. If you know your friends sometimes hang out there, don’t try and study there. You’ll never get anything done.

If I think of anything else dorm-wise to get, I’ll let you all know, I promise.

Now, I’ve promised you a synopsis of a special neighborhood near Chicago, and I’ve been really excited about this part of the post, but I’m going to keep you in suspense a little longer just because I want to separate a few things from each other. This whole blogging thing is new to me, and I’m really going to try to keep the posts more regular (at least once a week, hopefully every other day), so I’m stopping now, and I’m going to get that new post up separately.

See you soon!

I Actually Have to Live in This Box?

2009-07-09T16:48:00.000-04:00

My first suggestion is going to be to check out Bed, Bath and Beyond's website; they've got a really cool feature under the "shop for college" tab that gives you a seriously in depth list of what they think you'll need. To be honest, anyone with half a brain and a pair of working peepers can see that you're not going to need half the stuff on that list, so let's be real and put down what you're really going to want.

Kitchen stuff;

Okay, so you're not going to want to eat in the cafeterias every night, and be real, you cannot afford to eat out all that often either. So, you're going to want the following: forks, knives, spoons, plates (decide how many depending on how many people you're living with), a microwave, and a mini-fridge.

Extras that not many people think about (luckily, my mother is anal-retentive, so obviously she does) are: ziploc bags, tupperware containers, can openers, chip-clips, coffee mugs, dishwashing soap (please, please, please use it), and a coffee/tea maker if you are so inclined.

Some campuses don't allow students to bring hot-plates or toasters, but if yours does, you may want to err on the side of caution in taking advantage of them; they're extra bulk, and even if having a daily panini sounds really appetizing, you may want to be realistic about how often you're actually going to use them.

There's this really, really wonderful book out called "Healthy College Cooking," by Alexandra Nimetz, Jason Stanley, Emmeline Starr, and Rachel Holcomb that'll help you keep off the freshman 15 (or 50, if you're not careful). Obviously, the healthiest way to eat is organic (even if it tends to be fairly expensive), but the problem with that is finding the actual organic stores. Organic.org is a good website to go to if you're searching for some of the good stuff nearby.

Bedroom Wares;

We all get the newsletters and crap about the whole extra-long twin bed sheet fiasco. Since neither of us have had the experience with the whole college-bed thing, we're just going to tell you to listen to the people who want your money, and do as they say. Yes, it may be a little pricier, but really, what's more expensive? Getting one set of XL twin sheets, or getting one set of regular twin sheets, then finding out that you actually do need the XL set and having to go buy those too. Return policies are usually not all that forgiving.

If you want a cute one (and really, who doesn't?), I would definitely suggest checking out Overstock.com for some options if you're willing to spend a little more for style. If you're okay with getting an aesthetically pleasing set, Bed, Bath and Beyond (again) is going to have these really great bed-in-a-laundry-baskey deals that don't go over $70.00. Good deal, right?

Others: Pillows (if you're like me and need three or four, cheap ones are easy to get at Target), two sheet sets (you need to wash them at least every two weeks, so rotations are a good way to go), a comforter, a mattress pad/protector (it's not that you don't know what's been on the bed, its that you do; which obviously should make you want this even more), a blanket (the microfiber ones are super ridiculously comfortable), an alarm clock and a nightstand. There are actually these really cool clip-on surfaces that attach directly to the side of your bed, so if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck on the top, you've got a convenient little place to put all your nighttime necessities. Again, Target is going to be a pretty good friend of yours in that endeavor.

Bathroom Stuff, Study Stuff, and a guide to a very cool neighborhood in Chicago for all you city-schoolers.

Well, Here I Am.

2009-07-09T16:34:00.000-04:00

So, here we are, in a countdown about a month and a half away from the beginning of college, and I'm already in a frenzy about my plans for the future, blah blah blah. However, those plans aren't going to be the subject of this first post. First, I'm going to explain exactly what this blog is going to be about. Second, I'm going to introduce myself a little bit, and let you know where I'm coming from. The first ACTUAL post will be separate.

Let's get the boring stuff out of the way; introductions and explanations.

I'm wanted to start something that had a little bit of everything in it for the average undergrad girl. I want you to know that yes, we're all going through the same issues, the same inner battles, the same triumphs as you are, so really, there's no need to feel alone. We're all broke, so I hope to see a few interesting posts about inexpensive places to shop near college campuses and online that'll cater to the hipster-chic looks that everyone is dying for. I also want to see some beauty tips and product recommendations to make us all feel just a little bit more glamorous in our day to day lives (no matter if its an exfoliant made of brown sugar, orange zest and milk, which is one of my personal favorite quick-fix tricks, or a little pricier option like this Moroccan Oil product that I con my hair stylist into using on me every time I go in, just so that I can have perfect, shiny wavy weightless hair for a day; it can go for $35.00 on Amazon and I still haven't gotten up the courage to make the purchase).

Then, this is my favorite part; I also want to do a few posts on relationships. We're all stepping into this really really deep pool of possibilities, and I really would prefer it if none of you stepped in with cement blocks tied to your feet, and blindfolds over your eyes.

Also, I want to make sure everyone is going to pass college (please, for the love of all that is holy, don't waste your parents money; this economy does not allow for refunds, no matter how unfair the grading process is), so we're going to be posting tips and tricks as we get into the swing of things on how to stay afloat (you want that 4.o, don't you?), without missing out on all the fun social parts of college that everyone is really concentrating on.

Alright, so now that you know a little bit about what we want to do, I want to make introductions. I'm just a girl, going to Indiana University next fall, ready to step out into the world. I love fashion and people, and my dream (after the 11 years of training it takes) is to become a clinical psychologist. I love helping people (which partly explains this blog), and I want to really make a difference to someone; sort of as a pay-it-forward to all the wonderful people in my life who have guided and shaped me in some way.

Anyways, beyond all that mushy stuff, I'm a slob, but my life and all of its components are all neatly and beautifully organized into separate hemispheres. I love being in love, and I have an addiction to thrift stores and bargains that I'm in no hurry to cure. Sandpaper also gives me the creeps. Other than that...I'm just a normal girl. I like art, I love my bike, I adore painting, and my friends take up way too many parts of my brain and heart for it to be okay. But thats me, in a condensed nutshell.

Now, the next thing that's going to be posted issss...

DORM STUFF!